No Dourt Reed Judgment Day Stock Ploy
A quip imagines a future judgment day where gloom remains and a mock optimist appears to urge buying stocks as the world darkens. The exchange satirizes speculative optimism amid disaster.
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Newspaper
Canora Advertiser
Location
Canora, Saskatchewan, Canada
Date
May 14, 1914
Page
6
A quip imagines a future judgment day where gloom remains and a mock optimist appears to urge buying stocks as the world darkens. The exchange satirizes speculative optimism amid disaster.
Wise Willie asks why the egg sizzles while Uncle answers with a joke about a tender steak. The playful exchange shows a humorous family moment centering on food and curiosity.
A humorous exchange features a noble marriage described as settled with “evvery cent she had,” a sales pitch for Minard’s Ointment, and a housekeeper puzzled by turkey pricing. The butcher clarifies turkeys are sold with feet, alluding to a lively street scene.
A quirky pun filled note mentions a man who has eaten a lobster every night for years, with a playful questioning of belief and doubt centered on Harry as an example.
Winnipeg report notes a woman endured eleven years seeking relief at Victoria Hospital with no credible improvement, highlighting prolonged medical struggle and unanswered care.
A boy named Johnny faces a jury of angry birds led by an owl in a dream courtroom over eggs taken from a bird nest. The owl condemns him and bans him from the woods, but he awakens and resolves not to harm birds again.
Short while green card style ad promotes LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE with the claim of curing a cold in one day. It lists a price of 25c and mentions a signature by E. W. Grove as endorsement.
A mother and her two daughters Eleanor and Marion travel in Europe. Eleanor plans routes and transport while Marion, the only non English speaker, handles inquiries. A misread plan leads Mrs Jones to board the wrong carriage, prompting Eleanor to tell Marion to ask her to get out. Judge Minard's Liniment cures burns.
The Lo Daily Mal notes Britain plans 257.6 million in 1916 funds, up nearly 10 million from last year. Naval advocates call the programme meagre with four battleships and limited cruisers and destroyers, warning Canadian dreadnought delays imperil imperial defence from 1916 onward.
An advertising note touts Shilof for quick cough relief and lung healing at 33 25 cents. A bashful suitor’s romance ends with a joke about roses and a visit to the florist for more roses. A health blurb warns asthma disrupts sleep and strength without relief.
Arthur T. Hadley, Yale president, comments on youth during a tea in New Haven. He states youth is modest and challenges the notion that young people know it all, recalling a dated anecdote about age and insight.
The father greets his son Johnny back from vacation and asks about school. The boy replies fine, and the father notes that he has learned to say more phrases in English, praising his progress.
A fragment from the Philadelphia Public Ledger questions manners and civility, noting uncertainty about a man’s character based on observed tone rather than deeds.
A local notice reports a man valued at ten million five hundred dollars, highlighting wealth status in a brief society item with sparse additional details.
AMarkets snippet shows a character directing another to go upstairs to his room and mention of a wardrobe with cigars, indicating a tense or secretive moment in a historical text. The readable lines hint at period speech and a discreet, possibly conspiratorial exchange.
The Forestry Branch notes vast Argentina wood reserves and tannin exports, plans lookout towers across western reserves, and highlights Douglas fir as Canada’s key timber. It cites growth rates, strengths, and research at McGill, plus fire protection needs and evolving communication tech for foresters.
Forty Chicago septuagenarians form a self named Club of Borrowed Time with rules to outwit Father Time. President A T Heming way urges members to stay young and cheerful, with criteria of age and conduct. An accident tale about Patrick O Rourke prompts a humor filled exchange with a foreman and doctor.
A fragment shows Mrs. Torkins asking why someone has taken an interest in theosophy, with a brief reply beginning “Well.” in a dialogue snippet from a period-piece scene.
A boy and his father hauled hay to town for a new minister. The load slipped at the minister's gate burying the map beneath it. The minister invited them in for dinner while the matter was settled, but the scene ended with confusion over the hay and wages.
In a novel effort by Little Laundries Ltd at Wealdstone Herrow, the washerwomen received their first singing lessons as part of employer instruction designed to improve morale and efficiency.
Tonic claims to rebuild blood and restore energy through Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People. It urges spring use to combat fatigue pale skin headaches and poor digestion with mail order availability and a cited passage from Social Sanity by Scott Nearing.
A humorous old saying about perseverance is quoted from the Chicago Tribune. A teacher asks Willie how to write hon and he jokes about blowing a horn. A sequence of family gags ends with a child delaying punishment until after dinner.
The text notes Minnesota contains 28 million acres of forest the largest in the east of the Rockies region. It cites four million acres of timber land in New Hampshire with half in farmers woodlots. It records U S forest fatalities and timber losses and mentions Canada establishing a McGill Montreal forest products lab. It explains tree planting and national forest timing tied to spring melt and fall rains.
A frustrated speaker laments overwork in the Panama Canal project. The scene includes a grocer transaction where a lamb order triggers a humorous demand for extra items and a shouted offer to add a sack of items to the purchase, ending with a fill of bustling shop energy.
A partial dialogue shows a woman offering an engagement ring while a man presses for his lover’s name and address. The exchange hints at concerns over a medical examination and potential worries about a person described as having six children.
A large group of Fall River and New Bedford residents led by Pierre Le Brecque and Edward Pepin plan to sell property and relocate to Calgary Alberta. After a 3,000 mile Canadian tour visiting Alberta Manitoba and Saskatchewan they return with glowing reports of opportunities. Wages of 35 to 45 cents an hour draw many to join the colonization drive. Le Brecque is selling his Fall River store.
Algy’s mother says the doctor charged a high fee for attending to the wealthy Smith boy. The doctor confirms a good fee but asks why this is being discussed. She adds Algy threw the brick that hit him. London Opinion report.
Pembroke Ont special reports Mrs Mobile Lance long sick with insomnia dizziness rheumatism lumbago dropsy gravel and kidney trouble. She credits twelve boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills with a full recovery and urges women to consider kidney health as the cause of many ailments.
Five members of the Warren Parife team placed 99 shots in a circle at 75 feet, scoring 999 of 1000 in 22 caliber indoor shooting. They surpassed Bridgeport Park Rifle Club’s 998 record from 1913, setting a new mark in the event.
A garbled excerpt shows characters discussing Amy's refusal to marry Mr Dooling and a desire to choose a husband. The text references a Mrs Goodwin and an inability to find a suitable match, noting activities like cards and work in a dated voice.
A damaged newspaper fragment mentions a public action involving a person named Brunetta and Mr Lesnbrough with references to dancing and beads. The readable text is unclear on date location or exact outcome.
A lighthearted exchange recalls a paper filed with gruesome crimes. The remark hints at newspaper fear and the odd method of curling hair with curl paper while noting a sensational crime page in the same issue.
The text notes a claim that costs have not risen for him in ten years while contrasting with Egbert’s remark about living off family wealth. It references family ties and shifts in financial burden across generations.
The druggist or medicines dealer will tell you that Dr Thomas Eclectric Oil is the most popular and in greater demand for pains in joints muscles nerves neuralgia and rheumatism due to its superior healing qualities.
A terse exchange reveals a caller identifying as a new collector for the firm of Dura and Dunn. The visiting party asks about the debtor’s obligations, signaling a routine debt-collection interaction.
Dialogue reveals rumors about Mr Flibb’s finances tied to his wife’s lavish hats and gowns. Grace asks about suffragettes and beating, then relieves worry with a hopeful sentiment. The exchange underscores gossip amid money troubles and social appearances.
A witty exchange notes Lent plans and the cost of an Easter hat. The remark hints at generosity and seasonal spending without specific details or events.
The speaker seeks a night watchman who can sleep with one eye open and listen for any noise or burglar indicator. The applicant should be ready to tackle any situation and remain alert throughout the night.
A short notice promotes Catarrhozone as a remedy for itchy nose and running eyes claiming a cure in five minutes. It is described as not a drug to take and not an hour to work.
A fragmented account recalls frontier police actions in Saskatchewan including encounters with Indians and rustling, noting a fearless officer and a famed sergeant. The piece sketches police restraint, border tensions, and legends of frontier courage amid harsh western terrain.
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