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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Sep 03, 1907
Page
4
An ex governor of Wisconsin famed as a storyteller recalls a New Jersey clambake where diners laughed at his speech until a stern listener quipped about low necks. The tale follows the governor's reply about clams and a friend’s overheard remark calling him a fool at the seashore.
The Tondon Mail quotes a person saying you have paid for both the joke and the dinner and that the speaker was the one who required the money. The remark centers on financial demand and a claim of responsibility.
In Devizes Whitshire England a public subscription monument warns falsifiers and irreverent people. It commemorates a woman who allegedly cursed the Almighty during a dispute at the Corn Exchange and died on the spot, her perjured gains clutched in her hand.
A playful list defines towns through quirky clues. Each clue hints at a Kansas town name such as Great Bend Abilene Leavenworth and Manhattan, reflecting local references and wordplay from the Kansas City Star.
An irate buyer bursts into a real estate office claiming the ground he purchased is thirty feet under water. The agent apologizes and quips about providing a diving suit with each plot, promising to send the buyer's item today, per the Cardiff Times.
A sick man asks the doctor to present his bill. The doctor refuses, saying he does not want to worry the patient. The patient agrees, and the doctor promises to send the bill to the executor in due course.
The article traces coffee from Mocha origin to 1616 transport to Holland, 1718 cultivation in Surinam by the Dutch, and notes Persian beverage use in ancient times. It mentions the first-recorded coffee house in Constantinople in 1511 and coffee’s arrival in France in 1662 via Thevenet the traveler.
An 1905 analysis estimates the US coal reserve at about 2.2 trillion short tons, enough to form a seven and a half mile high cube or a six and a half foot thick layer over 400,000 square miles. If consumption continues at 1905 rates, coal could last 4,000 years, but with rising use it may be exhausted in about 100 years, with a likely lifespan around 200 years according to John Llewellyn Cochranes article in the American Review of Reviews.
A condensed reflection on why people turn to crime and how economic risk versus reward, police efficiency, and societal factors influence crime rates. The author cites a September Metropolitan Magazine piece by Broughton Brandenburg, arguing that most would choose legitimate work if crime paid less and citizenship remained intact.
In the September McClure's an article by Dr Woods Hutchinson argues against food reformers fearing staples beyond flesh milk eggs and grains. He says many foods contain substances acting as active passions when eaten in quantity, challenging popular dietary eccentricities.
A succinct reflection notes that ignorance stems not from lack of learning but from the overabundance of what is forgotten. The saying emphasizes memory limits and the need to retain essential knowledge.
Technical World Magazine describes a new farm vehicle the Farmobile that uses a ground lying inert wire cable across fields. A four cylinder engine powers two drums winding the cable to pull the car, with tension rollers and taut cable ensuring no slippage. Steering moves front wheels, and the load is limited only by engine power.
The San Francisco Argonaut offer a humorous guide defining a box car as part of the fowl family. It claims such cars roam railway tracks in spring and summer, hibernate in autumn, and can be captured with a lasso or switch crew. It notes guard duties by railways and that a well loaded, wild box car becomes stationary.
A Columbus Dispatch item notes a Turkish bath establishment courting clients. A German saloonist, obesity noted at 200 pounds, contemplates the masseur’s boast of losing two pounds per bath, doubting the feasibility of a hundred baths.
The Saturday Evening Post notes how Senator M S Quay of Pennsylvania kept letters from constituents asking for favors. He sorted out dead responders and on the back of each living letter wrote a prompt seeking aid in his senate bid. The letters, mailed back to the original writers with Quay's request, allegedly helped secure his victory.
Michele Pezza born 1760 earned the nickname Fra Diavolo for his cruelties as a Calabrian brigand after stints as a stocking weaver a Neapolitan soldier and a papal soldier. He became a monk but was expelled and was executed in 1806 as reported by the New York American.
In a pair of humorous exchanges, Blobbs questions why Subbubs hates his neighbor over a high fence while a hotel clerk admits clergy get a dollar extra for drinks, citing lack of bar patronage as motive, captured in era newspaper snips.
Julius Millais notes hare strides about four feet and rabbit strides two feet. Fear drives a hare to leap ten to twelve feet and even clear ditches twenty five feet wide. A hare may leap five feet vertically. Rabbits jump six to seven feet horizontally and up to three feet high. They can swim as well as dogs.
A Short Stories quip about bird nest pudding follows a dinner remark. A young Englishman asks what bird made the nest pudding, and the hostess replies the cook made it. The aside plays on the idea of nests and the cook as creator.
Uncle James tells Bobby to save pennies so shillings will follow. Bobby claims he saves pennies but notes his father spends the shillings once saved. A brief, humorous exchange from London Tit-Bits reflecting saving habits.
A facetious customer challenges a barber to cut hair without making him look ridiculous. The barber replies that it will be quite difficult but he will try, as depicted in Lippincott's Magazine.
A humorous Harper's Weekly excerpt features a skit with card players and Southern dialect gags about a watermelon being named for its mouth watering, a spring mishap tale ending in non drowning death in fall, and a promised ballad by tenor Vio Lett titled Warden, Brush Those Locks Away I Yearn for Liberty.
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