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This newspaper page contains 32 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Bristol Phoenix
Location
Bristol, Rhode Island, United States of America
Date
Oct 08, 1907
Page
4
A senator jokes about long speeches while a Maine temperance lecturer recalls a Maine Ellsworth audience. An amused local man tells the lecturer he saw a moderate drinker with a smaller load than expected, prompting the lecturer to quip about carrying more on one lash.
A historical note describes a covert money lending scheme at race tracks. A well-dressed broker sits with bettors, signaling for a loan via a ring. They meet in a restaurant, exchange money and a premium, then the borrower regains the ring after repayment. The piece cites C. F Peers in The People and the Ponies.
Spoiled Encore reports a town tableau vivants event in Little Flowboro where a stage interruption followed a depiction of Nelson's death. A fiend of the naval hero’s friend shouted a joke, prompting the stage manager to offer a repeat performance amid light banter.
In Stratford on Avon a hotel smoking room hosted an Englishman and a Scot in a heated dispute over poets. John Bull lauded William Shakespeare as the world’s greatest poet while Donald McPherson defended Robert Burns. A confident commercial traveler urged settlement, asking who is Shakespeare Burns. London Telegraph.
A tea gathering features quips on age as a fifty six year old woman proclaims thirty five, another claims twenty six, and a seventeen year old girl jokes she is not born yet according to the present reckoning.
West coast natives of Sumatra oppose vaccination and continue offerings to the smallpox devil. They mix heart and liver of fowls and buffaloes with yellow rice and other ingredients, place the mixture in a full-rigged ship model, parade it, and finally launch it into the sea, as reported by the Singapore press.
A Bohemian note quotes the monarch saying he is at his wit's end after an unexpected kick from the court jester. The line captures a dramatic moment reflecting courtly intrigue and satire.
A quotation notes that it is a beautiful necessity of our nature to love something, attributed to Jerrold, highlighting the intrinsic drive to cherish as a fundamental human impulse.
The Westminster Gazette recounts how Jean Richepin, once a bootblack and porter on the Quai, carried a heavy trunk for an old college friend at a railway station. Their reunion in a shabby attic revealed manuscripts that stunned the friend, leading to publication and a swift career breakthrough.
The London Echo recounts Walter Rothschild the richest English bachelor narrowly escaping an arranged marriage. A designing mother pursued his fortune, with the daughter eavesdropping outside his room. Rothschild apologized for lengthy talk of his animals and vowed never to repeat it, and the proposal did not occur.
An old colonial note traces Saratoga’s name evolution from Serachtarue to Sarachtoge under Governor Lessler and a 1689 Bartel Vromans incident. It mentions Lief Jochim Staets and a mission to Sarachtoge, with archaic spellings and contractions as a curiosity.
A literary pilgrim visits Summit New Jersey and asks a long serving liveryman where Dr Hamilton Wright Mabie lives. The liveryman confuses Mabie with a doctor, noting Mabie is a newspaper reporter. Mabie jokes he bought a wooden leg for that liveryman.
Lord Young at a public dinner teased a neighbor about a vinous face claiming the man was president of a water trust. The quip implied trustworthiness with water. He then learned the House of Lords had upheld a decision of his, to which he replied it might be right after all.
A father asks how to define the phrase as black as your hat. The son replies that it means darkness that might be felt, per Casgell's Journal.
Mrs Hanson, Cedarby’s famed culinary queen, explains her scalloped oysters. She says it’s simple layering of oysters, buttered crumbs, milk, and pepper, with a dish buttered first. Her neighbors admire the result and seek her technique.
A Welsh preacher story from Walter White’s Journals illustrates simple vivid exposition. Noe hammers at the ark while hay and beer tempt him, but he remains at work as the flood rises.
A Los Angeles Times quotation extols silk hats as lasting and adjustable. The speaker argues ironing enhances shine and longevity, comparing the hat to fine antique furniture. In England some men reportedly wear the same topper for ten to twelve years, with continued luster from time and care.
The breakdown lists 69 parts including back belly sides bar purfings neck finger board nut bridge tailboard and strings. Maple covers back neck sides bridge while pine forms belly bar coins blocks side linings sounding post and ebony dresses finger board tall board nut guard pegs and tailboard button.
An American asks about high buildings in England and recalls a London joke about a New Yorker who sees a man in bearskins rolling daylight. The man explains he lives at the top of a tall building and it is snow covered year round.
The Innocent recounts Plaisantin offering a gold piece in payment, claimed to be fake by a merchant who notes counterfeiters have just been arrested. Plaisantin insists the coin is genuine, arguing that if false it would have been detected earlier.
A promoter touts a scheme as sure riches while a cautious man doubts the plan. The plain man says if he had the money to risk he would feel wealthy enough to stop. Washington State dialogue reflects caution versus ambition in a get rich pitch.
A reminiscence highlights laughter as a potent remedial force. Accounts describe hearty laughter banishing illness and preserving life through a sudden natural effort.
The Bristol Female Charitable Society met at Mrs A M Babbitt's Hope Street home. Secretary A M Babbitt and Treasurer L R Farrington submitted reports noting 97 years of aid totaling about 40000, honoring long-serving members and grieving the death of Eleanor B Grant.
An Army engineer commander orders a lieutenant to lead twenty men through a swamp. The lieutenant reports mud over heads deep. He then writes a requisition for twenty men eighteen feet long to cross a swamp fifteen feet deep, a comical warp on the mission.
Frederick Douglass tells of wandering Dublin he hears two violins, buys one for five shillings, tunes it, and plays Rocky Road to Dublin and The Irish Washerwoman. The dealer’s wife dances, Frederick earns the coin, and the fiddle becomes priceless to the keeper who vows to never sell it.
A farmer named Judge Blank donated flour corn hay and vegetables to local preachers and kept a venison herd. He built a large smokehouse where a man stole pork one night. The intruder later asked about missing meat and the judge whispered that only they two knew of it.
The Cleveland Leader quotes a bachelor asking about a baby’s blue eyes. The mother explains the eye color comes from her side of the family, noting her brother Will’s wife shares the same blue eyes.
A London World editorial argues the stomach as the greatest civilizing agency on earth. It asserts that well fed men with properly served meals shed barbarism and gain irresistible elan.
Mme Durand and Mme Dupont discuss theater offerings. Durand reports seeing three perfect loves of new hats, sparking light laughter as they converse about fashion in a playful social scene.
A playful exchange between a waiter and his son prompts a pun on apple pie order. The Boston joke echoes a baker’s breakfast line as Philadelphia Press notes the humorous dialogue.
A man and a woman exchange a playful question about the water flow of Niagara Falls. He claims a quart, she asks how much and receives the reply of two pints, highlighting a humorous misunderstanding.
A fragment advocates Pineules for kidney health and backache relief, pricing 80 days of treatment at $1.00. It also promotes Boeg Laxative Dough Syrup for colds and coughs, claiming it clears phlegm and head congestion. Sold by O. W. Sparks.
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