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Newspaper
Big Timber Pioneer
Location
Big Timber, Montana, United States of America
Date
Mar 15, 1906
Page
2
The surviving fragment mentions Mr. and Mrs. Fitzsimmons and a general tied to a brass button. It references a czar needing 240000000 but notes no fuss is heard. The text is garbled and lacks clear events or dates.
The Rev. Madison C. Peters declares money is not success in a sermon but acknowledges its power. The quote contrasts wealth with spiritual values, while a local anecdote hints that material possessions shape perceptions beyond virtue.
A scattered, witty collection notes a rubber trust valued at 20 900 000 in New Jersey, mentions elastic currency, and cites varied observations from poetry to railroads in Russia. It also references sugar consumption and a West Virginia man under an injunction about his wife.
Geronimo the Apache warrior marries at 84 to his right wife. An expert urges constant baby care. Schwab delays moving into a New York mansion costing six thousand nine hundred dollars. Mrs Chadwick helps with laundry at Ohio penitentiary. Sands finds useful employment. Princess Ena of Battenberg and King Alfonso set for marriage in June.
Sir Thomas Lipton expresses strong confidence in winning the cup next year while Mother Shipton warns of the world’s end in 1881, reflecting a clash of fortune and prophecy in the public eye.
Judge Gary deflects a tidy definition of marriage describing a wife as a luxury. He notes that an exhaustive analysis would require pages of dictionary entries.
A cautious note from South American manufacturers suggests no anticipated disruption in demand as they navigate a continuing trend in prom verity and related arms production dynamics across the region.
Two centuries after Ben Franklin's birth people note how electricity has grown since his kite experiment. A Chicago couple married three times since last November, each time to each other, a remarkable repeating nuptial pattern.
Report says several generals died in a recent clash in Santo Domingo. One side allegedly lost two toes and the other a portion of a left ear. A marginal note recalls Ben Franklin advising thrift with grace and jewelry.
Reports say dynamite was found under snow along the Neva river at the czar’s planned blessing site. Officials fear the danger and worry crowds may avoid the area henceforth.
A claim circulates that a letter can travel from New York to San Francisco and return within seven days. The remark notes the sender must be unusually prompt, as most people are slower.
A New York minister asks if the coming man will marry and notes Bernard Shaw would say that outcome depends on the coming women If she desires a husband there would be no escape from marriage.
The New York Sun reports on a lighthearted debate about which leg to put first when dressing. The prevailing joke suggests starting with the left leg and then the right, reflecting a playful local discussion.
The text suggests 1906 Russian revolutionaries cited Franklin's remark about hanging together and separately. It presents a provocative but unclear attribution, lacking corroborating details, dates, or sources.
A New York artist, Katharine A. Carr, published With the Empress Dowager detailing months in the Peking palace. The piece describes the Empress Dowager’s long nails, gold and jade nail protectors, and her precise handwork for writing, painting, and imperial decrees, as shown in a portrait that accompanied the Chinese exhibit at the St. Louis World's Fair.
The Montreal Herald recounts an observer's notes on the Empress Dowager detailing her refined habits and tastes. It highlights opium restraint among eunuchs, the Empress's artistry in painting and dress design, personal perfumes, and a penchant for pearls and palace-made goods. The piece also notes her graceful kite flying and meticulous cleanliness.
Frank J. Hearne recalls Joshua Gentry, former Hannibal & St. Joseph president, who visited a locomotive cab in shabby clothes. The engineer questioned the visitor and learned he was the railroad’s chief executive, prompting a rebuke about dress.
A bill in Germany would make motor car owners prima facie liable for all accidents until they prove non-negligence by themselves or their drivers. The tale includes a gloomy wedding proposal and a quip about marriage from Martin J. Lutington, noted at the 1902 DNC.
The Hildegarde, a 127 foot schooner built in 1874 for the Prince of Wales later Edward VII, was towed up the Hackensack River to Little Ferry for dismantling and conversion to a cargo trader likely carrying brick. Once admired for its teak hull and mahogany fittings, the vessel changed hands several times, served as an auxiliary engine yacht, and is now slated for sale for cargo use.
In a smoky compartment a candidate recalls the futility of political dustups and shares a punchline about recovery. A dejected rival asks how to move on, and the fat man reveals the cure is cod liver oil, a quirky remedy he swears by.
A. J. Drexel Biddle discusses Madeira and its famed mountain coast in wicker-basket runs. He recalls a Christmas gift to a maiden aunt involving an anonymous love letter, reflecting on romance and novelty.
Mr Newhall struggles with dressmaking terms while Mrs Newhall complains Mme Fitz copied Elsie Gray’s gown with only color and fabric swapped. The gag highlights wardrobe confusion as the couple recalls differences in tucks rosettes lace and sleeves.
Prof M B Jaffa of the University of California reports strong laying records from st Oaks experiments designed to raise hen productivity. He stresses cleanliness as a prime factor noting rows should be clean dry and cheerful. He compares neatness to a finicky old lady who bathes fish every Saturday night.
A Christmas party hides a fatal error under masked faces. A bold suitor seeks a kiss while a maiden in a veil feigns uncertainty and the scene ends with a tense pause as the truth remains unrevealed.
A humorous column centers on Mrs Krusty and her cause for complaint while Willie’s guess narrows to a near correct answer. An insurance agent features in a bluffed scene as the plot unfolds with wit.
A reporter recalls receiving a typewritten copy of a speech including parentheses for cheers and applause. The opposition paper notes the speaker sent it in with staged reactions and the reporter now records sneers and groans instead.
Mrs. Krusty recounts boys tying a tin pail to a dog’s tail and chasing him ten blocks. Mrs. Askitt asks if it was her dog. The exchange appears in the San Francisco Call as a local moral cartoon prompt.
A man tells an insurance agent he cannot talk due to a leaky lung a bad heart and a stomach that cannot digest a poached egg. The agent taunts that the man might die before paying, while the narrator notes the man is actually healthy as a pig.
The narrator recalls a harsh workplace dismissal for drunkenness. The boss tells Mr. Cartridge he is dismissed for being intoxicated. A witty exchange follows as Mr. Cartridge thanks his employer for sparing a cliché about being loaded and fired, then wanders off.
The exchange features a First Gentleman offering ten thousand pardons for a ten dollar payment and a Second Gentleman replying that nine thousand five hundred pardons suffice, plus a one percent cash discount, as reported by the Evening Mail.
In a local church row, deacons were elected but no woman would accept the elder role. Members debate leadership distribution amid tensions and name concerns.
A cannibal chief recounts opposing a predecessor’s health food ideas. The missionary asks if he was popular, and the reply notes there wasn’t enough of him to go round among their people. The exchange hints at cultural tensions and scarcity.
A playful exchange shows six year old Willie asking what a king is. Mr Henpeck explains a king has unlimited authority and is obeyed. Willie concludes his mother might be a king too.
A dialogue frames art as the transcendent alist questions what art is and Mr. Comrox replies that art, in general, is whatever costs more than two dollars per seat to view. The remark reflects playful satire on value and culture in a literary tone.
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