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Newspaper
Bessemer Herald
Location
Bessemer, Michigan, United States of America
Date
Jun 04, 1905
Page
4
A collage of satirical quips and brief snippets from multiple papers. Topics range from medical wartime talk and political figures to astronomical hints and railroading costs, interspersed with mockery of leaders and current events, reflecting a noisy, opinionated era.
Clark County leads Indiana in crop variety with multiple specialized operations. Marysville hosts a chunk farm for pelts. Washington Township features a dog farm and a snake breeding show nearby. Charlestown and Nabb host coon dog and turtle ventures. Bethlehem Township grows sunflowers and butter beans for markets in Louisville and Cincinnati, with ginseng farms on Camp Creek. St Josephs Hill area claims a large grape vineyard used for wine, while Henryville area preserves forest land and raises Mongolian pheasants.
Deep Valley Pennsylvania reports a dramatic recovery of a little girl from rheumatism after using Dodd's Kidney Pills. The father credits the remedy with rapid improvement and full cure enabling her to run and play like other children. He claims the pills correct kidney function and eliminate uric acid, alleviating rheumatism.
The World’s Work profile highlights ButteMont as a city of upside down nature where water comes from the east, most wealth lies underground, and 125 mines within a mile of the courthouse produce over a quarter of world copper. Copper tonnage already mined would link to a trolley wire across the continent and Sitting Bull once roamed nearby.
A Philadelphia Press quip reflects on wealth and the illusions of marrying money, noting the groom married not money but a talking entity. The remark suggests satire on status and perception in society.
A woman from New Jersey describes severe stomach pains after meals caused by coffee. She switched to Postum from Battle Creek Michigan, reports relief from indigestion, regained health, and praises the product.
A 1902 case from Missouri describes recurring tremors chills and poor appetite solved by Dr Williams Pink Pills. The testimonial asserts the remedy builds red blood and cures nerves rather than addressing symptoms. The ad notes pills contain no opiates and are sold nationwide.
A Success Magazine excerpt argues that gardening is a superior form of exercise for women. The author champions vegetable and flower beds alike, praising hoe work for physical fitness, mental growth, and practical yields.
Mrs Henry A Reamer of South Bend Indiana says kidney trouble left her weak nervous and wretched with backache dropsy and chest bloating. After using Deans Kidney Pills she reports relief and life saved, praising the remedy sold by dealers at 60 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
Mrs Newkid asks why the infant cries and Mr Newkid suggests the baby ponders remarks by the Governors of North and South Carolina. The exchange shows a humorous frame as the infant is handed to the mother.
In a mountain hotel a pretty brunette asks about special terms for simmer girls. The clerk replies with a sly list of terms, naming "Penches" and "dears" as the phrases used for such guests.
Purified skin and blood claimed with Cuticura Soap Ointment and Pile Cleanse for eczema psoriasis ringworm dandruff and infant skin ailments. Advertises complete treatment at one dollar backed by world testimony.
A quirky exchange features a gout asking about the secret of true happiness. The sage answers by framing happiness as having what you want when you want it, a simple yet provocative idea about desire and timing.
A clipped dialogue presents the question What is the Great Divide and the answer hints at a forthcoming event after an elec tivy by a weathered elder. The odd phrasing creates a curious tone in a sparse historical snippet.
A young couple weighs taking their chaperon on a lake boat trip. The youth frets about danger while the girl urges to include the chaperon, noting a possible capsize but consenting to the plan.
In a brief exchange, two men discuss recognizing Gabbleton. One states that if a man appears bored while another seems, the latter is Gabbleton, suggesting ease of identification through demeanor and appearance.
The article notes Lewis' Factory in Peoria Illinois offering Single Binder straight se cigars praised for high price to dealers and top quality for smokers. It also reports India killed over 80000 cattle due to wild animal incidents last year.
A promotional notice touts Mull's Grape Tonle as a universal remedy for constipation and stomach troubles. It cites numerous anecdotal cures, urges readers to try a free bottle, and claims dramatic improvements for diverse patients across the United States.
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