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Newspaper
Athena Press
Location
Athena, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Sep 18, 1908
Page
5
A collage of humorous exchanges and brief notices, including quips about marriage, payroll perks, insurance, and a Siberian railway proposal. The text features joke lines from the Detroit Free Press Washington Star Philadelphia Press and Chicago Tribune style quips, plus short notices on forestry in Korea and a legal oath from Cheney Co.
The Well-Informed World seeks a pleasant efficient laxative with known wholesome components. California Fig Syrup Co offers Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna as a trusted, ethical remedy for family use. Buy genuine California product only. price fifty cents per bottle.
A collage of humorous bits and vignettes follows. A whispered marriage proposal between Charles and Ethel elements a street scene, while comic interludes mock diplomacy and race stereotypes. A recipe for custard adds a macabre twist, and a string of jokes contrasts gender play with urban life through bits from Boston Globe and Chicago Tribune. The item closes with rail and road mishaps, a tomat o laden rescue, and a future government office sending a theatrical nod to shipbuilding.
A workers tale follows Skag as he struggles in a busy office. He starts dutifully but slips into neglect and sleepiness until a harsh reprimand pushes him toward reform. After a dramatic middle of the week, Skag returns with a cleaner desk and improved effort, though personal costs loom as he endures strain to keep up.
A Washington Star line notes a prophecy fulfilled as a man marks others by shaking a fountain pen. The piece humorously contrasts a locality short on resources with the claim of a healthful climate, implying a wry misperception.
ISS DELLA STROMBE of 710 Richard Mondt? Appleton Wisconsin describes years of rain down rendition, inability to eat or sleep, heavy dark circles, and alarmed friends. She tried Peruna on advice, began improving after the first bottle, and after six bottles felt completely cured though she could not pay enough for Peruna as a medicine for women in run-down condition.
Doogles County Farm offers sixty acres with forty five cleared and fifteen timber. Rich soil with no rocks, schoolhouse mile, county road access, running water and a well. Over eight hundred bearing fruit trees, a room jog house, barn and out-buildings, two miles of fencing, wide range of crops and services, asking price 2500 dollars. Address unknown.
A short sharp whistle stops a rabbit and an antelope often fearfully freeze. A farmer and a physician spar over floors and exercise. The piece weaves humorous vignettes from readers and a Gunnison Gazette column style, with playful dialogue and a literary workshop mishap.
A citizen alerts an officer to a supposed fire at a large department store. The officer questions the claim as shoppers stream from the revolving doors and a false alarm unfolds. A humorous aside follows about a bad medical ordeal in 1892 between Mrs. Highmas and Mrs. Gaswell in a casual exchange.
A lighthearted Cleveland Leader caption mentions Captain Kidd with a goatee as the figure in question. The note plays on the nickname and questions who Capt Kidd is among a group labeled prints.
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