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Newspaper
Athena Press
Location
Athena, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Oct 03, 1913
Page
2
Athena residents heard Professor Holden of Iowa Agricultural College urge diversified farming to widen the breadbasket. He argued one crop farming limits land use and called for beef, dairy, and silo production to boost soil yield and profits, while Oregon potatoes could aid starch and globeware manufacture.
A column mix of curious notes and scenes from Harper's Weekly touches on a Hawaiian pol supper and its ritual. Also recounted are a siege tale of an emperor sparing a city after women leave with husbands, reflections on aging actresses, a Swiss eggs recipe, a pun filled exchange, and a public notice including a summons in Umatilla County Oregon.
A Kansas City Star humor piece recounts a bet between a man and his wife that spirals into a cascade of bad financial moves. The wife wins the bet and the man issues a five dollar check. The check passes through several hands and missteps as endorsements and handling fail. The driver, laundry, and grocer all contribute to a near farcical chain of events ending with a duplicate payment in sight.
In a Michigan pioneer tale from over seventy years ago Deacon Brewster’s large family hosts Elder Allen a circuit rider and bachelor for dinner. Betsy apologizes for not bringing a knife set and the children cheerfully note the elder has all the knives, so he must share with everyone at table.
A collage of notes on polar laboring weather and Arctic light showing extreme cold and brief warmth for skating. Then a look at Zulu servants fed with bread milk tea sugar meat and vegetables in a harsh yard system called boys meat. Other items mock social manners and job references with brief city humor.
A short anecdote aboard a stalled train contrasts two narrators. An elderly listener recounts a story about hunting with a tin pan tinder box gun and a buck, revealing a moral about swearing styles while dismissing the other man’s disdain.
A London widow seeks a cure for her son’s ailment and hires a woman to knit six shirts. The woman leads her to a hidden skeleton and reveals her husband killed the skeleton’s former owner in a duel. The son reveals he is condemned to death, and the mother learns the truth that every home hides a skeleton. Ysaye Stradivarius mystery closes the tale with a vanished violin and lifelong search.
In Agsbelin a Khoja Nasred-Din Effendi, a village imam, tells a camel story. A neighbor, seeing the animal for the first time, asks what it is. The Khoja, equally ignorant, declares the camel “a bare a thousand years old,” a tale cited by the Pall Mall Gazette.
A Birmingham Age Herald quip notes a man disappointed in love as the girl remains with another man who won the same woman. A Washington Star exchange features a boastful man nearly achieving his goal, followed by a cruel cynic’s jab about a paste brush in ink.
A garbled note cites playful wordplay about gifts for a lawyer friend. It mentions a pun like pewsult and hints at time and effort to attain a desired title or prominence, reflecting a quirky early 20th century newspaper fragment.
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