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Newspaper
Athena Press
Location
Athena, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Mar 05, 1907
Page
3
S. S. 8 8 is advertised as a blood cleansing tonic that reaches the blood to cure rheumatism. The text argues radially that external liniments only soothe temporarily and that rheumatism is a blood disease caused by excess uric acid and waste build up. It promises to renew circulation, expel acids, and provide free physician guidance and a treatise.
An imposing building houses an art book titled The Quiet Life. A man presents it to a matron, calmly stating his wish to show the book, but is interrupted by a staff member who clarifies the institution is for the deaf and dumb.
A playful Lincoln Journal poem laments a fierce northern blizzard predicted by a wizardlike figure. It mocks the cold as a demon of snow and revels in the wild wintry weather, joking about being frozen with little coal and the blizzard’s noisy arrival from the north.
A baffling exchange unfolds as a Musical Customer questions a displayed instrument, while a New Salexman deflects with playful ignorance. The dialogue centers on whether the item is a Stradivarian fiddle and highlights shop conversation in a glass case scenario.
In Washington County Georgia Judge Dooly halts court as General Hanson sits beside him and proclaims vast property. The Sheriff summons Jones, the tax receiver, to make an inventory, revealing the mix up where Hanson mistook the judge for the receiver.
A new recruit recalls his first Philippine fight after a weeklong binge and sobering up. Thrown into action with a veteran, he fights lone against a group of Ladrones, holding off 50 and killing 10 before the foe withdraws. The veteran dismisses his effort, underscoring harsh battlefield silence.
A lengthy profile traces William Alden Smith of Michigan from humble beginnings selling popcorn and papers to his rise as a six term congressman and U S senator. Born in Michigan, he rode freight trains as a boy, found work as a page, then moved to Grand Rapids as a law firm messenger before becoming a railroad attorney and investor. His career blends law, railroads, and newspaper ownership with enduring public support, including warm congratulations from California.
Newspapers in the Mexican capital push for a noon hour reform ending the long siesta practice. Shops and offices now close from 1 to 3 pm, with some foreign stores resisting. Critics say noon brightness boosts dullness while extending work into evening, delaying theater starts and nightlife.
Ferry's great Seed Book is ready for distribution. The 1907 Seed Annual offers guidance for farmers and gardeners to choose varieties suited to their needs. With fifty years of seed growing experience, Ferry's guarantees freshness purity and reliability. Send a postal to D M Ferry & Co Detroit MI for a free copy.
An amid telegram style notice parodies a patent remedy claim for a laxative dravno quinine tablet. Signature on the box reads E W Groves while a dialogue fragment shows Mrs Bigh mus and Ig mus struggling with a telephone call and a stalled conversation.
Women suffer backache fatigue and general tiredness from modern life. Brandreth's Pills are advertised as restoring feminine health by regulating organs. A century of use and wide availability are cited to persuade regular nightly use for relief.
Critick-Yee and D'Auber return from a Rocky Mountains trip where Critick drew many mountain peak sketches. The Philadelphia Press notes their rocky landscapes. The piece also satirizes deafness cures and references patent remedies, a Toled O pharmaceutical ad, and a New York World quote about wealth and inheritance.
A Stillwater Minnesota woman credits Dean's Kidney Pills with curing long lasting back pain and severe kidney disorders. She says she nearly died before using the pills, and now feels revived. Foster Milburn Co. sells them for 50 cents a box in Buffalo New York.
In The Yankee Nation, Reuben Hall vents at length about dumping waste near Grantham's Woods. He questions town regulations and the Lawton sullarhole, arguing for a right to dispose of junk on his terms while neighbors urge pacific caution.
An advertisement promises to cure piles in six to fourteen days with Pazo Ointment. It guarantees relief for itching bleeding and protruding piles or refunds the money. The claim targets readers seeking a quick, guaranteed remedy.
An assortment of archaic quips and witticisms appears, recalling Uncle Jerry Peebles’s tale of Snooping, a Chicago Tribune aside on respiration versus money, a shoe powder ad parody, and a Salem witch burning amid census chatter, with Wizard Burbank fleeing to California.
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