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This newspaper page contains 10 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Athena Press
Location
Athena, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Dec 31, 1909
Page
5
A collage of quips and light notes from various papers. The text mocks exam questions and bureaucratic excuses for bad roads. It ends with a stray poem line about storms and rainbows and a note about competition and trusts.
A London tale recalls Lord Strathcona the Canadian high commissioner humorously recounting a cabman story. The official twice helped an aging driver claiming typhoid woes for two grandsons, then the secretary suspected deception. Strathcona quips he once wheeled his own belongings to the ship in a wheelbarrow.
A collage of humorous quotes and advertisements. Snippets critique the beef trust, railway car weights grow heavier through centuries, and witty exchanges from newspapers including the Detroit Free Press and Washington Star. Notable lines poke at public debates, law fees, and misheard phrases.
An account of the English Royal Bodyguard dating to its 400th anniversary, its historic role protecting the king on battlefields and in London, and its ceremonial duties at levees, courts, and parliamentary openings. Includes notes on historic battleaxes and the origin of arms.
A Washington state timberman argues for conserving forests and reforestation on logged lands as essential for future timber supply. He suggests a cutting tax funded for reforestation and forest protection, noting the need to shift taxation from standing timber to the harvest event, and cites growth observations of trees aged 40 to 125 years. Concludes with a preview of next week’s continuation.
The old lady’s domicile was found to lie a few feet south of the Virginia North Carolina line after a resurvey. She is told she now resides in Virginia and quips that North Carolina is unhealthy. Special measures reduce tin malt residues and strengthen weighted silks today.
An elderly woman expresses the belief that a suitable young man finds great pleasure in work, shaping her view of proper conduct and ambition.
A distorted clump of text presents a playful mock dialogue about space and a joking claim of a humorous daily column. It references an astronomy professor and a student, with stray lines about a drink recipe and a dubious concentrated tonic. The garbled OCR yields no coherent event or date.
A humorous exchange questions why milk costs 12 cents a quart and butter 45 cents a pound. One speaker jokes that they are only adding the cost of ice to chill and transport the dairy items, revealing a practical take on household expenses.
In a playful exchange, a daughter defends spelling as arbitrary while her father critiques her writing exercises. Bertha argues that words existed before the alphabet, highlighting a comic clash over orthography.
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