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This newspaper page contains 31 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 26, 1909
Page
8
A ventriloquist visits his widowed mother and brings a parrot. after teaching it to talk, he deceives her into thinking the bird talks. Upon leaving, he returns to find the parrot dead, and the mother reveals she had stuffed and placed it back in the cage. The tale recalls a prior marble game anecdote from Bishop Wilmer in Upperville.
The essay argues fly fishing centers on the brook trout Salvelinus fontinalis as a tangible beauty to catch and behold. Camp compares brook trout favorably against other prized fish and names the eastern brook trout as the sport’s chief example, praising its form and coloration.
Excerpts from a Leipzig paper show obituaries shaping tone between serious and funny. Phrases note child loss and teething grief, and a mother seamstress of two children is named Marie Wiegel, illustrating phrasing in death notices.
A countryman visiting Glasgow peers at shop signs along Argyll street. He complains about ham and clothes shops advertising as the best and cheapest, then laughs at a plumber window showing Cast Iron Links, remarking that cast iron would sink.
A three year old on a street car turned to look out the window and wiped his muddy shoes on the light colored trousers of a middle aged man beside him. The man exclaimed to a woman nearby asking if the boy was her “nasty little angel.”
A Virginia minister recalls Bishop Wilmer of Alabama when he led a small Episcopal church at Upperville. He faced low Sunday attendance as young men played marbles for stakes instead of going to church. The tale highlights his wit and approach to remedying the situation.
A son argues with his mother about a letter claiming he quit railroading for an indoor job. He insists he described an injury and staying in town, while she recalls only being stranded between trains. The exchange centers on what was communicated and what happened.
George W Harvey, famed for steamed oysters and restaurant leadership, traveled 6 000 miles to supervise a single course of terrapin in London. A wealthy English guest paid a stiff fee, £200 honorarium plus expenses, for Harvey to cook and oversee the dish then return to New York.
A Washington train parlor car carries a reticent reader and a talkative neighbor. The garrulous passenger pesters with questions until, irritated, the quiet man sighs and replies that the grass is green, noting the change from the pink and mauve grass seen recently.
In Pearson's Weekly a scene from Birkin's wedding day shows Birkin joking with his young brother in law. He declares he will take the sister far away where he will have her to himself and the lad questions the plan. The lad shrugs and says he can stand it if Birkin can.
An old cabby Flint asks "What's your fare" and receives the reply to leave it to him. Flint thanks him and remarks he is the first person to leave him anything, as reported in London Fun.
A Cleveland Leader quip recalls a tourist’s reluctance to jump Niagara Falls until he saw his hotel bill, contrasting thrill with expense in a wry exchange.
A dialogue on inheritance ends with a quip about leaving wealth to descendants. A speaker questions plans if children are absent, and the reply pivots to grandchildren. The exchange highlights family lineage as a humorous take on estate decisions.
Danny Wilmarth a brakeman on a train on a side track in Ohio was severely bruised when a switching train bumped the caboose where he stood on the rear platform. He was taken to a local hospital for several weeks of treatment and later walked into his mother’s Pittsburg home on crutches.
Berliner Tageblatt mocks American fortunes in New York, Chicago and Philadelphia. It depicts bootblack beginnings, rapid rises to partnership, ruthless elimination of rivals, and the founding of universities and museums before eventual ennui and death.
An astronomer explains Saturn’s great distance to a visitor at the telescope noting it takes thirty years to orbit the sun. The visitor quips about buying spring dresses for thirty years, then the astronomer shifts the view to Jupiter.
The widow Skinner recalls two late husbands, Boggs and Skinner, both troublesome. She recalls Boggs as rough but domestic, and Skinner as an ineffectual provider, noting she preferred Boggs’ ways and did not adapt to Skinner’s demands. A listener remarks the last was better, but she disagrees.
Kayrliss admits deep debt while Wise notes his lack of judgment. Kayrliss blames a generous tailor for giving him credit beyond his means in a quoted exchange from Catholic Standard and Times.
A recently convicted man tells the judge he has nothing to offer the court as his lawyer took his last farthing, prompting the judge to proceed with sentencing. London Mail.
The article presents Death Valley as a famed western landmark with Mount Blanco rising about 1,000 feet above surrounding ridges near Furnace Creek. It notes the vast surface deposit of borate quartz in the Colemanite ore body estimated at 1,000 feet wide and 5,000 feet long, highlighting the valley’s extreme lowland and surrounding terrain.
A Detroit News report describes a borax quarry with enormous potential output, suggesting its limitations are unknown but it would surpass any existing borate deposit by thousands of tons.
The Paris Letter describes Versailles twelve miles from Paris with its royal palace now an art gallery and museum open to the public. It notes Chantilly twenty-five miles north as the ancestral home of the Conde family, now willed to France for public enjoyment with its palace art treasures and forest.
A Burmese messenger showed a boy's pop gun like device used to create heat by suddenly compressing air. The implement, with a waxed tinder inside, ignited upon a sharp blow, illustrating a simple scientific demonstration. The author sent a description to the Asiatic Society of Bengal.
A Newark News fragment recounts Henry receiving a $500 legacy that triggers a chain of misfortunes. He buys a horse, which injures a child and destroys a buggy, then sells the horse for half its price to buy an amber pipe and a gasoline route, causing a fire that consumes the wagon. He drinks, falls from a bridge, and ends up $33 in debt.
A country minister dining on the circuit jokes that a roast chicken will enter the ministry. A boy retorts that it might do better in lay work, echoing the light humor from a Boston Record item.
Mrs H questions liking oriental rugs and Mrs R replies the dirtier they get the more genuine they look, noting how much sweeping that saves. Cleveland Leader
Path finder jokes about money and lending in a witty exchange. The listener contends you would still have $8 if you never had that much to begin with, prompting a tease about probabilities and lending.
A humorous quote where Harold says he will tell his future children he was good as a kid. He imagines guiding his family with the example of his own childhood.
A Boston Transcript quip plays on a couple debating a diet for complexion. She claims indefinite bread and water sustenance and then the man suggests marriage, turning a dietary joke into a marital proposal.
A fragment from the Philadelphia Ledger notes a witty exchange about a wedding dress and workplace flirtation, ending with a musing aside about the world needing us. The passage is a light, clipped snippet reflecting newspaper humor.
Seared with hot iron or other injuries require Bucklen's Arnica Salve to subdue inflammation and ease pain. It heals boils ulcers fever sores eczema and piles. 25 cents at druggists. Chamberlain's Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy cures nine dysentery epidemics and is safe for children and adults when diluted with water. Sold by all dealers.
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