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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Aug 22, 1907
Page
6
A Methodist exhorter heckles a congregant asking to join the army of the Lord. The reply declares the man already joined in the Baptists. The exhorter then asks what fine he owes and the congregant answers he is in the navy.
The verse laments a boy deprived of nature's sights and sounds. It appeals for help for the child who cannot enjoy butterflies birds bees breezes and forests during autumn foliage and woodland berries, urging appreciation of nature's charms.
The Sun a Foreigner reports Sun Sunset Cox’s gag against free sunshine during a coal tariff clash. Cox proposed resolutions to seal windows and shutters to keep sun light out, claiming it harmed miners and gas coal dealers and favoring Pennsylvania coal interests. He argued the sun is a foreigner to justify shutting out light.
A worker defends long hours saying the boss can manage but fears being found out, revealing a belief in personal dedication over time off. The exchange highlights workplace pressures and hidden routines behind committed labor.
A portly German argues with a Broadway car conductor and claims Americans lack culture. A soldier seeks marital permission from a celibate commander after a year the general grants the match but the man reveals the same woman sparked the joke.
Senator Tillman warns an amendment would destroy the bill’s meaning likening it to altering a tombstone epitaph. He recalls John Skinn’s tombstone with the line “He did his best” being replaced by a one word “friend” added in the dead of night.
A traveler gathering material for a book asks a pasha if civil service includes retiring allowances. The pasha replies that Allah is great and a public functionary needing a pension upon leaving office is a fool.
In a New York Tribune office a single compositor could read Horace Greeley's handwriting. To tease him, colleagues used a canary dipped in ink to mark a page. The bird’s inked tracks were hung where Greeley would see the copy. The compositor studied the page, set type, then sought Greeley’s judgment on a line that seemed off.
A jurist’s remark reveals a disputed term in the copy as Mr. Greeley examines the text. He identifies the word as constitution and proceeds with the story, prompting attention to the accuracy of the document.
A Frenchman compliments a hostess and struggles with English gender errors. Her playful correction prompts a lighthearted exchange about language and gender in polite society.
A collection of humor and vignettes featuring ethnic banter, waiter miscommunications, biblical asides, reporters’ slips, a hunting wolf tale, ministerial quips, social gaffes in Washington, and a Confederate veteran’s quip about crossing to the other side.
Nat Goodwin recalls a Turkish bath in Mexico where a strong masseur brutally kneaded punched and slapped him. The masseur explains the slaps were to signal readiness for the next bather because the bell was out of order.
A speaker laments days past and misses familiar faces he once greeted, expressing sorrow for changed times and departed friends. The passage centers on nostalgia and the emotional impact of lost relationships.
A narrator recalls fox hunting on a spirited horse through a conservatory full of glass and flowers, then shifts to a lawyer recounting Judge Shope’s dramatic courtroom moment when a telegram about a friend's death swayed a jury and led to a life sentence for the defendant.
Roosevelt arrives at Red Hill Virginia to view his wife’s cottage and helps an elderly woman board the train. The woman, surprised, remarks on his fresh appearance and offers an executive shake. A telegram at the trial carries the line Have courage the devil is dead.
An American tourist on the summit of Vesuvius cries in awe at the grand sight, exclaiming Great snakes and it reminds me of hades. his English companion observes how Americans travel.
A joke reports an Irishman facing a high speed electric fan. After brief exposure he jokes that he would not want to become a squirrel. The quip plays on Irish speech and fear of the buzzing machine.
A western broker orders a patent chicken coop and, after collecting it at a remote freight office, is stopped by a blue uniformed station master who exclaims that the coop is a Muddy Junction. The anecdote recalls A. J. Cassatt recounting railroad lore about misnaming places and travel by carriage or auto.
In a son’s letter, Beecher urges working for others by sinking self interest, staying diligent, and upholding a high personal standard. He warns selfishness is fatal and stresses integrity, perseverance, and focusing energy on one’s own work.
A visibly annoyed musician insists his violin is a genuine Stradivarius. The editor retorts that the paper would advertise Stradivarius instruments only if Mr. Stradivarius himself paid for space.
A man previously arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct pleads with the magistrate. The judge settles the matter with a ten dollar fine as they acknowledge it is a fine morning.
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