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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 14, 1913
Page
4
The inspector general of prisons, Senor Fernando Cadalso of Spain, told a New York audience that capital punishment is not yet obsolete. He argued society remains uncivilized enough for abolition, then recounted a racially charged watermelon patch tale to illustrate lingering prejudice.
Fragmentary quotes and ad-like phrases appear, including a proverb about forks in the road and a jab about silver forks. A promotional mention touts Mrs Winshow's Soothing Syrup for teething pain and wind colic, priced at 25 cents a bottle, alongside schoolboy arithmetic quips.
Women from Warren Indiana and Esmond Rhode Island report relief from menstrual and health issues after using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. They describe improved energy, reduced pain, and regained health enabling daily work and caregiving.
A humorous exchange features Jenkins praising a waiter’s memory as the waiter reveals he simply identifies hats by what the wearer had on arrival. The companion laughs at the reveal and the tip. The second vignette reports a race meet where a horse from Juarez fails to run due to unsuitable conditions, with the owner noting only musketry fire could spur a race.
A story sketches Dobbleday as a chronic worrier who fixates on hair teeth and money until none remain. The character continues worrying after relinquishing all tangible concerns, revealing a habit that outlasts actual targets.
In a humorous exchange Mr. Meekton hears a wife’s remark that kindness to animals is a woman’s duty. He counters lightly that it doesn’t interest him unless husbands are made part of the dumb animal class.
Yachtman was called three times for breakfast this morning as a discussion emerges about whether there is a time allowance on a yacht. The exchange centers on scheduling and etiquette aboard the vessel.
The note suggests that current methods blend arithmetic with advertising, implying a compound growth in how we figure things out. It presents a skeptical view of mixing factual calculation with sales-driven content.
A venture promoting London tours faced three months of no business due to a long stretch of foggy days. Respondents blamed slower adoption by Londoners and questioned whether the idea was understood.
A humorous dialogue shows Zeke and Ned debating college life and an old machine versus a sixty horsepower contraption. Ned claims his son will swap to a modern car to fit in, while Zeke jokes about fitting speech applause.
A satirical dialogue touches on banning offensive weapons in Manitoba and women buying hats. Jokes play on eggs’ germ destruction claims and actors with germs. A humorous exchange asks about a new curate described as peculiar, with a quip about ready-made apparel being an umbrella.
The tale notes a shortage in chorus girls was announced and briefly counters with the discovery of blond Es ki mos.
Dialogue reveals Mrs Gramercy arguing that a man’s past should not define him after marriage. Mrs Park counters that a husband’s previous behavior remains relevant in evaluating character and compatibility.
A wry joke notes that marrying a stenographer worsened a man’s home life as she mirrors office habits at home by taking down his dictation. The quip satirizes work marriage dynamics and professional skills spilling into private life.
A cautionary tale features a spider warning a fly about vile germs and deadly bacilli in a parlor setting. The dialogue frames a lesson on hygiene and unseen dangers lurking in everyday spaces.
Two street sweepers on a curbstone discuss a dead comrade. They praise his work but question whether he was too weak around lamp posts, reflecting on pride in one’s livelihood.
In a dialogue about influencing policy, Dustin Stax notes that hiring a brilliant orator could waste time. He prefers meeting auditors individually to maximize direct impact on the legislative matter.
A humorous exchange shows Farmer Geehan pondering a hired man’s fall from a barn. The man did hit the ground, prompting Geehan to admit a miscalculation and reveal his theory that the man was so light he might have risen.
A fragment shows Lapleigh Miss Passee rejecting all others but upon proposal she accepts. Miss Keen comments that she had stated she would stop at nothing once decided to marry.
A humorous exchange contrasts a wife’s dissatisfaction with speaking at about 200 words a minute, and a character named Crimsonbeak notes she calms when restricted to that rate.
Mr Bug praises the new diamond engagement ring while Miss Roach admires how well it fits. The lighthearted moment highlights their affection and the ring’s charm in a small, intimate scene.
Poetic lines note leaves fail in time and rain and the delay affects office seekers as plums fall overdue, delivering a quiet, ironic image of missed opportunities. The verse contrasts seasonal change with political ambition and timing.
A reader questions a new streetfront shop, unsure if it is a tailor or a spooning parlor, after spotting a window sign that reads Hand Pressing Done Here and prompting local chatter.
A light exchange contrasts a woman praising a dress that lasted a year and a half with a man lamenting a tire that failed in less than two months. The banter underscores differing experiences of durability and value.
A dealer argues about a price marked five shillings, then claims the seller Velasquez is worth seven and sixpence. A woman is deemed too poor for their circle and suspected of cleaning her own gloves. The discussion hints at a swagger girl who can adjust her own car.
The piece lists meanings for stamp positions on letters and postcards, noting top right indicates business or friendship, with variations for upside down, crosswise, and horizontal placements. It also adds two-cent and two-penny stamp meanings, detailing greetings, affection, trust, marriage, engagement, calls, and travel signals.
A fragmentary text piece asks about silence and love with short phrases in a corner layout. Repeats same corner motifs and ends with a plea not to forsake. The tone hints at personal reflection or lyric fragments.
A child friendly Daisy Party plan describes indoor games using eight petal daisies with yellow centers, a paste prize for completing a daisy, and a daisy chain craft. The Daisy in the Dell circle game and food ideas feature marshmallow petals, angelica stems, real daisies in place cards, and orange gelatine desserts.
A period piece discusses preserving candle longevity by chilling them for 24 hours to slow burn. It notes fashionable candlelight in dining rooms with unshaded and shaded candles at plates and sideboards. Also references a poem by Henry Van Dyke and a section titled The Sun Dial at Weiss College with lines about time and the present.
Advice on using multiple small paper bags to collect wild flowers while out in fields or woods. Keep bags tightly closed to prevent wilting during gathering and transport.
Ellen Key describes the wife and mother as central to the home’s beauty and growth. She notes the mother’s serene wisdom provides nourishment and conditions for children’s development, shaping daily toil into life and love.
Several farm parcels and trade offers listed across Arkansas Oklahoma Missouri and Pennsylvania in 1918 classifieds. Listings include 120 acres in Hempstead County Arkansas with cultivation and orchard value and 60 acres cultivated land and 16 acres fruit at Potowatome County Oklahoma. Also 166 acres tillable in Quay County Missouri with water access and 80 acres in Crawford County Pennsylvania with a farmhouse barns and orchard. Additional 129 acres in Woodward County Oklahoma with cross fenced land and outbuildings. End with contact from regional dealers and publishers in Indianapolis Indiana.
A New York American item mocks Senator Herman Schaefer as a clownish coach who schemes to gamble with household items. He asks a housekeeper for cards Coke wash-tubs and a watermelon to perform a three-shell game despite the household’s ban on gambling.
The ad promotes Cuticura Soap as pure and refreshing for babies, with emollient properties to ease irritation and rashes. It notes Cuticura Ointment as complementary treatment for eczema and itching, claims long-lasting wafer form, and offers a free sample with the 32-page Skin Book from Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston.
Mr. Growcher quips after a big outing that there is nothing like a picnic to reveal how pleasant his office is by comparison. The brief exchange highlights a humorous contrast between outdoor leisure and indoor work.
A witty remark defines the underworld as that part of the world the automobiles run over, blending sarcasm with urban commentary on roads and daily life. The snippet reflects tongue in cheek humor about traffic and danger.
Gamaliel Bradford Jr. summarizes Stephens career and ethics. Stephens insisted no misrepresentation in client cases and pledged to investigate facts and applicable law before deciding to proceed, declining to prosecute if undeserved.
The article discusses small caliber paper field pieces for infantry use made at the Krupp works in Germany. These light guns weigh little more than two inches in caliber and can be carried by a soldier, though their resistance exceeds that of steel pieces of the same size. They are not replacements for steel artillery but suited for situations where moving heavy guns would be impractical. The piece compares paper artillery to earlier paper innovations like wheels and water pails.
A comic exchange set in Chicago features Miss Hogabust asking about a son and his profession. Lord Hightop replies that Algy will become a clergyman after college, provoking a surprised reaction from Miss Hogabust about respectable gentlemen traveling for him.
A brief quip notes Ig Dobbs as a man of superior attainments. It dismisses the boast as merely having superior airs rather than real achievement.
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