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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Whitewright Sun
Location
Whitewright, Texas, United States of America
Date
Oct 26, 1961
Page
8
A collection of comic lines and quips from mid century humor columns. Jokes involve a Wall Street tycoon and a girl in a nightclub a crosswalk sign about avoiding a rundown feeling and a mother refusing to join hymns on another network.
A husband requests orders while approaching a busy intersection. He asks a navigator for instructions and reveals a plan to take out insurance and suggests using both fire and life as part of the act. He mentions having a wooden leg.
A joke contrasts a city haircut with a country one and jokes about dating a blond and a brunette. A limousine and a small car get 22 miles per gallon. A husband asks a minister to speak to his wife and the parson explains a rose thrown from a bedroom window as an olive branch, noting the rose was potted.
A patient tells her doctor she fears butterflies in her stomach. The doctor suggests aspirin, but she already took one and jokes that they are playing ping pong with it. The verse by S Omar Barker comments on aging and knowledge.
A dedicated horse player arrives at work silent about recent wins. He reveals a supposed sure thing with fifty dollars saved to bet on a horse, only for his wife to spend it on rent and groceries. Neighbors discuss the wife’s extended holiday and how to bring her home.
A guest recounts a lunch with Brass Rail Corp executives Ed Levine David Berge and Morris Auerbach in a bright Manhattan eatery using seven vending machines. Meals arrive on cardboard trays with plastic utensils and cups, at 70 cents for turkey, costing far less than traditional restaurants.
Jetstream glass lined water heaters suitable for natural or butane gas are offered at moderate prices by Johnson Jewelry and Appliance.
Dr. James T. Ralph, Asst. Secretary of Agriculture, predicts withdrawal of most government subsidies to farmers. Speaking in Dallas at a regional meeting of Agricultural Conservation Program officials, he says the government will roll back subsidies and is already moving to withdraw.
Labor Department reports September consumer prices at a record 128.3 percent of the 1947-49 average, up 0.3 percent for the month. Deputy Commissioner Robert Myers cautions a further rise is likely but expects November and December to recede or hold steady with no sign of a sharp price surge.
Albert Gaige runs 200 acre Millerton farm near Elmira and has given 300 plus youngsters hayride trips over three years. He fills a wagon with straw, leads youths through fields to a pond, builds a fire for roasting treats, plays games and tells stories. He says youth contact eases his arthritis.
The Air Force says it cannot establish radar contact with the 350 million copper needles released from the Midas satellite as part of Project West Ford. Lincoln Laboratories reported no contact with the dipoles, aimed to bounce radio signals to Earth, after a launch from Point Arguello, California.
U S Savings Bonds sales in Grayson County during September totaled 136534 dollars about 68 percent of the 1720000 dollar goal One of six counties in District 12 has surpassed its target Hunt County sold 485672 dollars well above the 410000 goal Other counties totals include Collin 275228 65 5 Cooke 286354 58 4 Denton 254334 53 and Fannin 277357 79 2 percent.
A new device by Minneapolis Honeywell detects the first wisp of smoke and sounds a fire alarm. The Smoke Sentry uses a light beam projector and a distant sensor, separated by 15 to 160 feet, both powered by 110 volt AC. It targets commercial and industrial buildings.
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