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Newspaper
Washburn Times
Location
Washburn, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
May 28, 1908
Page
4
The Washburn Times notes advertising rates for Washburn Wisconsin in the May 28 1908 issue. Nels M Oscar editor. Entry records post office classification and annual subscription price of $2.
Our regular correspondent notes Secretary Taft secured Panama authorities’ agreement to allow Americans to observe the election and report on fairness to avert a revolution. Also covers Congress session achievements, pensions, workers laws, and trade mark treaties with Japan to curb counterfeit marks. A property clean-up notice dated May 5 1908 closes.
A mixed set of vignettes and jokes feature Bobby with a chicken egg, Mabel the sister, and a moral question about wisdom. Short parables compare two men, one joyful at nature and people, the other dour and doubting, ending in a reflection on happiness and faith. Lincoln Beachey is celebrated for a $2,000 dirigible prize with a humorous quip about fatherhood.
A collection of humorous snippets and anecdotes from various sources, including tall tales about doors and elevators, a family gag about birthplace, and souvenir lines from Lippincott's and Ladies' Home Journal.
A Connecticut teacher tests a pupil with two sentences. The student answers with a humorous corrected version about the hen and the verb done. Then two Irish immigrants share a horseradish moment with tears and a quip about dying with a mother in Ireland.
A mother gently urges Willie to follow the maxim early to bed and rise. He notes even chickens retire with the sun, but jokes that the old hen always goes with them in spirit.
A schoolmaster’s China population joke backfires as a pupil misinterprets the joke and vows to “kill” foreigners. Later Harvard professor Hugo Meyer apologizes for an arithmetic error, correcting a previously stated car mile price from 5.00695282 to 5.00695288.
In the small hours a passerby found two men intoxicated and leaning at an apartment doorway. He helped the first man up stairs and into a flat, then discovered a second, worse off resident in the vestibule. The helper again assisted, carrying and guiding the second man toward his door.
Southern Wisconsin farmland commands high prices of 100 dollars per acre and more as fertility improves after farmers shifted from wheat to dairy. Fertilizer use is also heavy across the east and south, with potato and wheat growers paying substantial sums per acre, reflecting overall agricultural investment and output.
Prof W A Henry told a dairy men meeting that eastern farmers rely on commercial fertilizers to restore soil fertility. Wisconsin growers could face high costs if left to poor land. He cited New Jersey and Georgia as examples of large yearly fertilizer expenditures and warned against future economic hardship for Wisconsin farms.
Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup is promoted as mild and pleasant tasting, preferable to harsh purgatives for women and children. A booklet and sample are available at Q. v. Frost.
A fragment from a newspaper page quotes a traveler’s gray pony tale about driving pigs to pasture and small talk on time. It includes Carnegie’s epigrams on wealth education and self reliance. The passage ends with a thought on heritage and virtue.
An advertisement touts Dr. Shoop's Pink Pain Tablets claiming to stop any pain in 20 minutes by coaxing blood pressure away from pain centers. Marketed as Dr. Shoop's Headache Tablets, the product is said to relieve various pains and is sold by all dealers.
A note says the person who disturbed the congregation last Sunday by continual coughing is asked to buy Foley's Honey and Tar. Q. W. Frost.
A 40 page illustrated trap book and fur catalog offers 46 wild animal pictures in natural colors with a calendar and prices for hides and furs. Free to those who ship to or buy from N. W. Hide & Fur Co. Minneapolis Minnesota. Postpaid for 10c stamps.
The Times promotes its job printing capabilities, promising first-class quality and reliable service for every printing need.
A local advertisement touts Boschee’s German Syrup as the only today that relieves and cures consumption. It claims pure tar and gum extracts endorsed by medical congresses, promises rest at night, easier morning ex pectoration, and relief from coughs and colds. Small bottle 25 cents, regular 75 cents. Frost & Spies.
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