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This newspaper page contains 16 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Vienna Progress
Location
Vienna, Georgia, United States of America
Date
Mar 17, 1904
Page
7
A string of wry maxims comments on work luck and perception. It riffs on insomnia, radium, handmade forecasts, and crooked value, noting irony in everyday life and the oddities of modern commerce with a playful, observational tone.
A brief joke exchange about buying cigarettes by the box to save money. The Proper Shade quips that saving money benefits friends, while a graveyard humor panel notes a man wishes his grave kept green and ponders whether bluegrass would be more fitting.
A riddle of a man who first loved his teacher then a cook then a heroine, then after forty girls in love, swore the one he married was first, revealing a life of many affections yet a lasting pledge to his chosen wife.
An irate customer accused a grocer of selling him eggs containing a chicken. The grocer remained calm and deadpan, remarking that the buyer is honest and joking that the man should pay 30 cents extra, noting most would keep silent.
A poem warns rural life offers health and daily labor over city temptations. It contrasts country chores with nightlife and wealth, noting the appeal of urban charm but urging staying on the land. The piece ends with a sensational anecdote about a man who sold his wife, implying foolish risks of city excess.
A reflective aphorism notes that a sage parent may doubt his children's actions yet remains certain they continuously wear out shoes. The quote contrasts wisdom with parental vigilance and everyday family life.
A humorous verse piece contrasts Leap Year romance with farm decline and financial anxieties. The speaker awaits a hoped for suitor at the gate while thoughts drift to timid lovers and a chorus of farm mortgage worries. Interspersed quips about insurance, mortgages, and social circulations appear as brief vignettes.
A fragment recalls a wife’s envy as she suspects another woman named Jack Pot, while her husband visits someone, hinting at suspicion and longing within a domestic scene.
A quip filled snippet shows a boast about a waterproof watch case and a plan to press plans in the suburbs. A brief exchange notes a pressing engagement and a question about a young lady's name, capturing social chatter and small talk.
Enterprising cracker manufacturers train parrots to call for special goods while observations mock moral suasion and advertising in a wry catalog of maxims. The fragment riffs on honesty, money, gender, and dialogue, closing with a quip about the last word in argument.
A brief item notes that quick, friendly aid during a gas service call makes a good impression. It stresses that the right approach is to turn out the gas safely when visiting a customer.
A proud young lady commands, Back to the mine, as her lover questions back to the baby mine. She relents for self protection, noting Miss Blinks’s single status amid local men who carry pistols.
A quarrel over drinking turns into a local dispute as Came Natural confronts Johnsby. Witnesses describe Johnsby's ease with drink, while Came Natural criticizes the seeming tolerance of his behavior. The exchange highlights ongoing community concerns about public decorum and alcohol.
The passage presents a dialogue about learning from great masters and the merit of study in medicine. It references a com doctor and quality, with cryptic phrases suggesting ongoing training or instruction.
A fragment shows a speaker recalling youth on a farm and noting changes with age. The line includes crude recalls of weight and illness, and a child asking where the sun rises, reflecting a rural setting and memory.
Advertises a sales position for a manufacturing house seeking a faithful person to call on retail trade and agents in a local territory. Offers straight salary of $20 weekly plus expense money, no previous experience required, temporary/ permanent options. Respond with self addressed envelopes to Superintendent Travelers 606 Monon Building Chicago.
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