And now a string of witty quips from Van Buren
The News Eagle quotes a cascade of satirical lines on topics from baseball and barbers strikes to artichokes and muffled spelling. Jokes touch on politics turtles and queasy humor about insects and suffragettes. The piece reads as a playful aside rather than a news item.
Man Who Ate Strawberry Shortcake Questions His System
A nostalgic note wonders about the fate of the man famed for eating strawberry shortcake and then asking what ailed his digestion, leaving readers curious about his current health and routine.
Wheat Prospects Rise While Currency Reform Sparks Hope
The report notes optimism for winter wheat with strong crop prospects and suggests broad access to funds may follow currency reforms, aiming to boost household dough as a result.
Price Advances For Show Snakes And Bar Room Kind
An advance of five dollars per foot is announced in the price of show snakes. But an advance in the price of the bar room kind would be better.
Gems Worth Sixteen Million Imported This Year
The country has imported gems valued at 16 million dollars since the start of the year. A separate note suggests someone is attempting to reconcile with his wife.
Bamboo as Tool Strength Conflicts With Use
A fragment notes that a man's force with bamboo varies by its use as a carpet beater or a fishing rod, implying different applications affect perceived strength.
Skepticism Meets Claims of Souls Leaving Dying Relatives
Scientists view with skepticism the claim that a woman saw a soul pass from a dying relative. They note many souls are too small to be visible under any circumstances and doubt the phenomenon's plausibility.
How long since you have seen a woman darning socks
The Cincinnati Enquirer highlights a fading skill of mending socks by hand and notes it as a topic of interest for historical societies.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
The
Cincinnati Enquirer
British ambassador a noted baseball fan in diplomacy
The new British ambassador is described as a baseball fan whose influence could rival on court and golf prowess, signaling a unique cultural angle in diplomatic circles.
Potatoes to be heated in winter under interstate order
The inter state commerce commission mandates winter heating for all potato cars and calls for a society to prevent cruelty to potatoes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Interstate Commerce Commission
Society For the Prevention of
Panama blasts threaten sacred sea serpent tradition
A local protest denounces blasting at Panama as harming a revered sea serpent tradition. Activists warn that sacred customs dating back ages are at risk from modern commercial iconoclasm.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Panama
Guatemala Faces Pressure Over 1869 British Loan
The message notes Guatemala owes 2,500,000 dollars to Great Britain since 1869 and that Britain now demands repayment, signaling growing pressure and potential consequences for Guatemala.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Guatemala
Great Britain
It is everybody's pennant says baseball writers
A sporting writer notes that the pennant race appears open to all, while managers' claims suggest every team believes it can win. The contrast highlights the unsettled title chase and broad optimism across clubs.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Beieve
Fear of Germs Fails to Halt Cash Gain, Says Public Health Note
The public health notice asserts that fear of germs cannot deter people from earning money quickly as ink is claimed to kill germs. The text questions if anyone has knowingly let fear keep them poor and whether reassurance would help such a person.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
The
Public Health New
Senate Lobby Probe Faces 20 Day Extension
Senator Townsend declares President Wilson and Democrats used undue influence to push tariff votes. Reed Walsh deny improper pressure while Townsend chairs questions on influence. The committee extends hearings to June 28 as probe deepens into executive lobbying impact.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Townsend
Michigan
Wilson
Senate
Reed
Walsh
Nelson
Senator Weeks
Massachusetts
Vote Against British Pact
Nine influential U S senators spoke in an executive session Friday afternoon to oppose renewing the arbitration treaty with Great Britain which had expired June 4. They argued the treaties bind the United States and hinder protection of American interests, criticizing the Bryan plan for universal peace as yielding to foreign governments and risking U S actions in Mexico Japan California disputes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
United States
Senate
Great Britain
France
Mexico
Japan
California
Indicted Editor Charged with Counterfeiting Photos
Howard A. Guilford editor of a St. Paul weekly paper was indicted by a federal grand jury on June 9 for photographing $20 bills with intent to counterfeit.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
St. Paul
Minn
Howard A. Guilford
Federal Grand Jury
Pleads Unwritten Law in Hotel Killings
Robert Huber of Chicago pleaded the unwritten law after confessing he killed John Kunzelman a hotel proprietor in Cincinnati Kunzelman ran a hostelry at Mount Healthy The sensational plea framed the case as a domestic homicide near Ohio venues through June 7.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cincinnati
John Kunzelman
Robert Huber
Chicago
Kunzelman
Mount Healthy
Marine Firemen Strike Over Wage Cut at United Fruit
New Orleans officials of the marine firemen union on June 7 declared a strike by members working for the United Fruit company. The walkout follows a wage reduction ranging from $2.50 to $5 per month.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marine Firemen
New Orleans
Marine Firemen’s Union
United Fruit Company
Chinida Sees Wilson Demands Repudiation of Anti alien Laws
Viscount Chin da, the Japanese ambassador, met with President Wilson at the White House in Washington to submit Japan's grievances and press for a new proposition. He seeks an official declaration recognizing Japan's place among nations and equality for its citizens with those of leading powers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Viscount Chinda
White House
Wilson
Japan
Bryan
Militant Suffragette Interferes With Epsom Derby
Emily Wilding Davidson rushed the course at Tottenham corner seizing Anmer’s bridle causing a crash that injured the jockey. The Derby crowned Craganour but was disqualified for bumping, placing Aboyeur first with Louvois and Great Sport following.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Epsom
Tottenham Corner
Anmer
King George
Emily Wilding Davidson
London University
David Lloyd-George
Craganour
Aboyeur
Louvois
Great Sport
Local man sentenced to life for delinquency charges
Louis Dude Christopher, 53, a colored man from Dubuque Iowa, was found guilty Friday of contributing to the delinquency of several young girls and received a life sentence from Judge Benson.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dubuque
Louis (Dude) Christopher
Benson
Refuses to Occupy Her Grave in North Tonawanda
Mrs William K Kelley of North Tonawanda New York was found alive and improving after her grave had been dug and undertakers dispatched to Buffalo hospital for her body. The incident occurred Friday and follows the grave digging and hospital trip.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
North
Tonawanda
N. Y
Buffalo
William K. Kelley
Seventeen-Year-Old Picket Leader Jailed In Paterson
In Paterson New Jersey on June 7 a judge jailed Hannah Silverman seventeen for twenty days after a contempt finding during the riot trial of 88 silk mill strike pickets. The group faced up to three years and fines for unlawful assembly. most were convicted.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Paterson
N. J
Klewert
Harding
Hannah Silverman
Benjamin Hagedorn
Miss Silverman
Recorder
Hannah
Price
Meat Supply Shortens as Imports Outpace Exports
The Department of Agriculture warned that meat supplies are shrinking annually. In 1912 imports of animals and animal products exceeded exports for the first time in U.S. history.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Department of Agriculture
United States
Plot to Arm Ulster Men Exposed by Yard Detectives
London sources report Scotland Yard detectives uncovered a large conspiracy to arm the Ulster Unionists to oppose the coming home rule regime in Ireland. The June 7 disclosure details a network aiming to raise arms and resist political changes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
London
Ireland
Scotland Yard
Pirates Attack French Steamer for 30000 Dollars
Hong Kong reports pirates attacked the French steamer Robert Lebeaudy in the China sea and seized 30000 dollars from the west river trade vessel. The incident was confirmed on Friday with details sparse.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hong Kong
Robert Lebeaudy
China Sea
Steamer Kurland Damaged by Mine Near Athens
The Belgian steamer Kurland, inbound from Antwerp, struck a mine near the island of Phieva in the Gulf of Athens on Friday. Heavily damaged, the vessel was beached to prevent sinking.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Athens
Greece
Antwerp
Phieva
Gulf of Athens
Rebels Capture City as Gen Blanco Battle Ends
In Mattamoros, rebels led by Gen Lucio Blanco capture the northern stronghold after a 12 hour fight with federal forces. Major Estaban Ramos dies after heroic defense as Blanco is mortally wounded and dies in a Brownsville hospital.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Brownsville
Tex
Lucio Blanco
Mattamoros
Estaban Ramos
Mexico
Dying Woman For First Aid Recovers Hidden Cash
Mrs. Vera Schurma in Cincinnati is dying from burns after she gave aid to rescue $210 hidden in her stocking when her clothes ignited from a lamp explosion in her home.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cincinnati
Vera Schurma
New York
Paris
France
Youngstown
Republic Iron and Steel Company
Sons Kill Wealthy Farmer in Texas Home
Lee Jones, wealthy farmer and preacher, was shot and killed at his home near Stephenville Texas on Friday by his two sons who allege he abused their mother. The case raises questions about motive and family conflict.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Stephenville
Tex
Lee Jones
Here
Engineer Seaman Killed by Car Sideswipe in Indy
James V. Seaman a 27 year old Big Four engineer was scalded to death when a cut of cars released by a switching crew struck his engine in Indianapolis on Friday.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indianapolis
Ind
James V. Seaman
Canada finances show record revenue and debt cuts
Hon. W. T. White reports Canada ended the year with revenue of 168,250,000 up over 32,000,000 from 1911-12. He notes steady monthly growth, mainly from Customs, with gains from excise post office and railways. The period of money stringency saw reduced debt by 23,000,000 and high security quotations, reflecting strong national finances.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Banke
Canada
Finance Department
Dominion
W. T. White
House of Commons
White
A Little Old Lady Seeks a Chiropodist for a Man At Her Feet
A modest elderly woman confesses to a friend that she plans to see a chiropodist. The friend asks why since she has no foot pains. The woman blushes and reveals her desire to boast of having a man at her feet, a playful reveal of romance.
Rash Healed By Cuticura For Two Year Facial Sufferer
Miss Pansy Hutchins of Sioux Falls describes a two year facial rash that spread to both sides of her face and caused severe itching and sleep loss. After using Cuticura Soap and Ointment, inflammation nearly disappeared in two days and the rash vanished in four weeks. She credits the treatment for complete cure and recommends samples and Skin Book from Cuticura Department L Boston.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sioux Falls
Pansy Hutchins
Eiada
Cuticura
Dept. L
Boston
Could Have Saved Her Engagement Fragment
A dialogue snippet shows a character asking why another hates her, acknowledging a past engagement to the husband and a missed marriage, revealing tension over loyalties and relationships.
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