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Newspaper
Troy Weekly Call
Location
Troy, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Feb 24, 1906
Page
8
A new lieutenant halts at a centinel to ask what he would do if a battleship moved across the parade ground toward his boat. The sentinel’s reply, witty and terse, notes stopping drinking as a possible action, reflecting military humor.
Emma E. Wilson of Liscomb Iowa testifies that Cuticura Remedies cured a severe eczema outbreak that spread from neck to limbs and recurred years later, with full relief after continuous use. The letter is part of a Chicago Tribune humor snippet mentioning a “big quick” line from a congressman.
Train and steamship package trips depart St Louis and Mobile weekly with the Havana Limited service and Prince George sailing from Havana to Mobile. Returning schedules set for Wednesdays and Sundays. Low rate six month excursions offered by Jno M Beall, General Passenger Agent.
Garfield Tea Co. Brooklyn New York advertises Garfield Tea as a mild laxative and herbal remedy for kidney and liver trouble constipation and headache with no harmful ingredients. Sold at all prog stores. Send for a free sample.
Sunday School lesson by Rev William Evans on Jesus Sermon on the Mount. The study argues happiness comes from blessedness not outward wealth, stressing poor in spirit meek purity of heart and spiritual longing as the path to inner happiness through righteousness rather than worldly possessions.
Pattern No 5269 presents a dark blue serge design with a Buster Brown inspired tie. Features include shoulder and underarm shaping, pox-pleats, a broad collar and neck band, bishop sleeves with flare cuffs, and optional leather or fabric belt. Suitable fabrics include cassimere chal lis limen basket cheviot pique and mercerized wash fabrics.
Pattern No 5528 presents a smart shirt-waist in blue and green plaid with dark green yoke cuffs and pocket. Front tuck and center box-pleat, straight cuff, high standing collar, gilt buttons. Materials: cashmere albatross flame linen. medium size uses 2 1/8 yards of 26 inch fabric. Include size and pattern number with order coupon.
Cavalry formed in brilliant succession at the royal station when a stray mule, mangy and comically grave, trotted past the Ninth Queen’s Royal Lancers to the crowd’s laughter, eclipsing the Derby dog moment in an Irish flavored episode.
The passage compiles stray lines from newspapers and magazines, noting jokes and ad blurbs about mid century topics. It references the Yonkers Statesman Washington Star New York Herald and Lewis Cigar while preserving odd phrases and supposed punchlines about health cures fashion and social quips.
E E Pitts of Skowhegan Maine describes a severe kidney ailment with back pain night sweats fainting and drastic weight loss. After four months bedridden the urine became frequent and bloody. Using Donn's Kidney Pills he recovered fully and has remained well for three years. Sold by Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY at 50 cents a box.
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