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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Townsend Messenger
Location
Townsend, Montana, United States of America
Date
Jan 11, 1895
Page
2
A satirical look at foreign policy, with jokes about recognizing Japanese governance and slow postal nomenclature, plus quips on medical students stealing bodies and hazing protests at colleges. The piece also notes six war medals awarded for gallantry and mocks press coverage of Chinese publications.
A manifest prohibits import of American horse meat into France while a New Jersey packer confirms sending it in quantity. The story notes a shift from frog legs to jerked venison from a street car horse as a new craze.
Two officers from a rat poison maker face manslaughter trials after two children died from consuming the product. The case hinges on labeling it free from poison to deter precaution, a tactic deemed clearly blameworthy.
The reali pie of the United States flourishes in a region called the pie belt. Boston has been a leading pie belt city and the committee’s stance on pie is likely to cause more stir than revolutions.
Mrs. Wittiam J. Black of Orange New Jersey ferociously tends her Leghorn flock. While driving at eighty last Wednesday she dropped a large diamond, quickly swallowed by a bird. The bird must be killed to recover the jewel, and others may follow.
The Martian canals reappear in parallel lines forming again though astronomers remain puzzled by their vast size and cyclical changes. Some think they are immense reservoirs filling with water seasonally for irrigation, suggesting Martians once abandoned rain for crops.
Weary Watkins, found sneezing under Astor bed quilts, is described as a modest man. He has received several offers from dime museum managers to exhibit him as the tramp who enjoyed lavish hospitality without invitation, but he has declined all. His refusal may stem from remaining in jail.
The idea that oysters from beds near sewer outlets can be contaminated and pass typhoid to people has become a reality in several cases. Yale University and Wesleyan students contracted typhoid after eating raw oysters from a site near a drain exit from a house with two typhoid cases.
In Northern China military actions continue without major disruption to tea export flows. Tea remains largely grown in the south and shipped overseas, leaving dealers to push price increases tied to wartime conditions while demand from abroad remains steady. China once supplied the whole world thirty years ago, but now produces about two thirds of global tea.
A desperate unemployed man recounts being lured by a supposed detective into aiding a burglary sting in Tremont. The plan collapses when the supposed detective turns out to be the burglar, who robs the house while the witness keeps watch and signals. He is arrested on suspicion and learns the truth the next day.
A traveler stops at a Georgia cabin asking for food. The host replies with no meat but possum. After a wait the host returns with hounds and a lightwood torch and instructs the guest to rub the host’s shoulder with a rabbit foot to coax a possum supper.
A Western speaker notes that in the West, neighbors settle spats quickly and move on with no lingering hard feelings, while an Easterner asks how such quick closure is possible. The Westerner explains that the survivor has nothing more to fear.
A humorous exchange shows a facetious friend noting a chance to rise while an elevator boy quips to be raised only to be called down, reflecting class tensions in a brief anecdote.
The article surveys dainty pinned bags for chair arms and side pockets on small table covers. It highlights a slumber roll for chairs, ornate turnover curtains, a butterfly pin cushion in crochet, color two tone bedspreads with embroidered hexagons, frilled three sided chair cushions, soutache braids, and bed drapes. It notes ornate photograph frames in Algerian linen with gold thread and gray spangles.
A Philadelphia Times interview outlines a path for women to enter dress design and advisory work. It notes few women designers, potential earnings up to 75 dollars weekly with Europe trips, and options to run an office or supply sketches, tissue mockups, or fashion ideas to wholesalers, retailers, and modistes.
The piece notes many state agricultural colleges offer work on the college farm with wages, cheap board, and free scholarships. Tutoring can pay better, with some clever students earning $1,000 to $1,500 yearly and one New York lawyer reportedly making $2,000 tutoring during undergraduate years.
An editor recalls a joke about a bald-headed woman and a series of exaggerated scenes to emphasize that a certain type of woman is not to be found, concluding with the remark that she isn’t built that way.
A humorous Northwest Magazine tale recalls Johan Vomonderblinkenstop pensohn filing a government land claim at St. Cloud Minnesota. The long name reportedly fit poorly on the document and neighbors have gradually reduced the tract, allowing him to carry the land piece by piece.
The president of the Bingville Association of Emancipated Women scolds a man for a sewing mishap and vows not to vote for him, deeming him unfit for sheriff. The exchange highlights local tensions and gendered conflict in the town.
A terse exchange centers on a line about Lord Shire and a wife’s hunting. Mr. Neurich denies, while confirming she is a Vandergilt, in a quipping truth-teller moment.
A columnist condemns self harm through drastic laxatives and promotes Hostettec's Stomach Bitters as a safe, effective remedy for liver issues dyspepsia nervousness and other ailments. The piece urges readers to consider healthful choices and notes a travel inquiry card offer from A B Fielding for North-Western Line tickets.
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