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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Townsend Messenger
Location
Townsend, Montana, United States of America
Date
Aug 30, 1900
Page
7
Comic snippets show a professor hunted by summer girls over missing licenses in a playful parade of lines. A dog and marriage license misadventure, palmistry boasts, and quips with doctors and collectors fill a humorous column of short, dated jests and cartoons.
A poet’s line frames a scene of dusk as a servant closes the blinds. A man’s proposal is sparked by overheard French, with a single word she can pronounce being oul.
A stern father tells Johnny to drop his books immediately and fetch his ball for two hours of practice exclaiming shame at his lack of ambition. Johnny responds that he is studying his lessons.
A minister, preaching four sermons on a Sabbath, claims in grass there is a sermon. A parishioner later finds him mowing the lawn and jokes about sermons shortened. A Thorns story features Fond Mother and Rose with playful dialogue about courtship and primrose attractions.
A cryptic exchange reveals opinions on marriage prospects and a Bearded Lady, a Circassian Girl and their traits. A photographer notes Miss Gotrox asked for his photo but dismisses it when she signs it with a curt note to her maid.
Humorous exchange from Tit Bits shows Mrs. Youngish resisting a baby’s urge to pull fur from a new muff and Mr. Youngish suggesting the cat as a harmless alternative. The vignette captures domestic wit and playful parenting moments.
Polly ponders her chosen graduation essay subject Modern Humanitarianism. She seeks to understand the concept and its meaning rather than merely naming it. The dialogue hints at a student grappling with definition and scope.
A fragment recalls Mack O Rell noting a strike stopped a St Louis game last week. Luke Warme jokes that strikes are the team’s principal effort. A new teacher asks a boy his name while another boy answers Scrappy Bill.
A collection of jokes and definitions on family banter and manners. The snippets include a quip about electricity versus lightning and a humorous rule about calling a woman an old hen.
In a tense scene, a professor challenges a rival who claims to have found a beetle that eats cigarettes. The professor vows to produce a beetle that targets boys and men who smoke, escalating the confrontation.
A Capetown dispatch notes President Kruger in feeble condition. Various medical ads offer cure books and aids from Allen’s Foot-Ease to Know Thyself. Notices include Coke Dandruff Cure, Hall’s Catarrh Care, and a large New York real estate loan offer at low rates.
The ad extols Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham as best qualified to advise women on anything due to twenty years of constant success with over a hundred thousand annual cases. It invites readers to obtain Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and write to Mrs. Pinkham in Lynn Massachusetts.
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