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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Titonka Topic
Location
Titonka, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 12, 1950
Page
2
A humorous anecdote asks for an animal with eyes that cannot see, legs that cannot walk, yet can jump high. The answer is a wooden horse whose eyes are non sighted and legs non moving. the Empire State Building cannot jump, so the wooden horse appears to leap in imagination.
A patient laments a steep weekly medical bill while the doctor notes the case is unusually interesting and nearly worthy of post mortem analysis, hinting at the oddity and value of the treatment.
A light fashion item titled Applause Please describes a junior size two piece with a pretty neck line button trim and flared peplum. It promises easy sewing and highlights the Spring and Summer fashion book with fabric news special designs and fashion tips plus a free printed pattern inside the 25 cent book.
A tourist marvels at grapefruit and lemon groves while a Californian explains the small lemons due to a bad season. The guide calls dandelions a patch of enormous blossoms as they near the Sacramento River. A Yankee quip on answering questions with questions ends the scene.
As the doorman hurried to open a limousine door he tripped and rolled down the final four steps. The club manager shouted a warning about appearances, saying guests might think he was a member.
The tale recalls an elderly woman who has never met a lawyer. Her grandson explains in a punchline that a lawyer is a man who induces two men to strip for a fight and then charges them for holding their clothes.
A young oyster recounts a seaside date with a lobster on a secluded rock near the sandbar. She describes romantic moments and then clutches her throat, revealing mortifying shame over her pearls.
Snapping turtles faced gas chamber tests but showed remarkable resilience, suspending breathing when air became unfavorable. The experiment aims to reveal turtle tolerance to toxic environments and challenge methods used to kill.
Spiders rely on tactile senses rather than sight to weave intricate webs. Their eight eyes are not essential for web construction as they use touch to navigate and spin in total darkness.
A father explains to his inquisitive son Wallace that God made the first talking machine, while Edison invented the first one that could be shut off. The exchange showcases a humorous, era fashion insight into scientific curiosity and invention.
A farmer leaving Grand Central on his first trip to New York asks a traffic officer for Central Park. The officer replies, you can go this time, but never ask again, highlighting urban confusion and mock polite rebuke.
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