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Newspaper
The Marion Daily Mirror
Location
Marion, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Dec 16, 1908
Page
7
A stream of tall tales and comic miscues unfolds as unnamed narrators recall absentminded antics. Jokes cover barber shop misreads with towels, theater exits forgotten between acts, kerosene mixups at night, and a kerosene drinking misadventure. The humor pivots on misfortune and social mishap with a New York poet pun and wedding crowning gags.
A humorous tale recounts Uncle Ben Williams using a ledger to rate widows for a second marriage. He tests candidates by listing their assets and flaws, while the widow unmoved by boasts and wary of unsuitable suitors. In the end she declines, seeking a right match rather than quick gains.
Taft and Samuel Gompers, president of the American Federation of Labor, spoke at a New York love feast alongside leaders like August Belmont and A. B. Garrettson. Taft defended amendments to the Sherman anti trust law while opposing repeal, and Gompers urged support for labor concerns in his remarks. The event also drew Mrs. Williams and other federation figures.
Bridgeport Ohio figures report Tom Lewis Widlowle has been reelected president of the United Mine Workers. The arrival of figures at his home confirms the continued leadership as the organization faces ongoing labor issues and regional challenges.
In several Obd districts the Nomad candidate received broad support as porkers and voters expressed preference for his policies. Early tallies show a clear majority backing Nomad, with districts reporting strong turnout.
A New York trip is proposed to prove practical airship operations. A stenographer will dictate letters while the craft flies, with the typist handwriting on a typewriter as the crew tests in real conditions.
In a Bohemian Magazine tale, George Green debates discharging a good cook who smokes. His wife worries about children, but Green hatches a scheme. After a few weeks she quits smoking, claiming the plan worked.
At Union Stock Yards cattle receipts total 22 000 with 000 estimated for tomorrow. Prices show calves steady near 5.20 to 5.65, hogs mixed around 4.05 to 5.25, native sheep around 40 to 470, and mixed shipments including 270 hogs and 280 Western sheep. Heavy emphasis on cattle and hogs with varying market figures and projected tomorrow totals.
Market notes show receipts 200 with cholesterol and grain steady. Wells receipts at 3.25 noted, common items at 16 good. Sheep and lambs receipts 5,600 while trading opened active and steady with slow demand in parts.
Chicago markets show December wheat and corn prices with varied opening and closing ranges across sessions. Toledo and New York produce futures list futures quotes for wheat corn rye and dairy products with mixed bids and surcharges noted in regional reports.
Grain prices edged between thin bids yesterday with corn and clover seed around 4.50 per bushel, Timothy hay at 1.00 per bushel, and Hungarian seed noted at a half dollar per bushel amid light trading.
Chas Turner & Co lists paying and selling prices for butter cheese lard eggs and staples. Items include Butter 50 per dozen, Egg price 50 per dozen, Lard 8 to 12 per unit, Navy beans Carolina head rice and various flour brands with bbl prices from Marion to Clover Loaf. Prices shown per unit pound bushel and barrel with firm yard sale style figures.
A scattered set of classified lines shows job offers and miscellaneous notices across Chicago. Listings include a large pay ad promising $26 weekly with a $60 expense allowance, a dining room job at a top restaurant, a Jersey bull calf available for registration, a sale of an upright plane, and various misformatted notices for imported goods and services.
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