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Newspaper
The Harrison News
Location
Harrison, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Jun 28, 1906
Page
4
A man returns from a week long auto tour with a friend to find his wife cold and ready for a scold. He sighs I pity Pitcoe, and explains his friend Pitcoe’s wife is giving him the very deuce. The ruse succeeds and he escapes punishment.
Miss Mary O Brien of Brooklyn writes Peruna cured her catarrh of the stomach in five weeks after four years of illness and doctor visits. I J Wenneman of Oakland Neb says he is cured and gaining weight after a year of catarrh. Austin M Small of Astoria Ore reports lost appetite in hot weather and finds Peruna a pleasant tonic and splendid appetizer for relief.
The Saturday Evening Post recounts Harry Leon Wilson, staying with artists in Connecticut, joining two locals for a drive. A runaway team crashes into a telegraph pole, leaving one man toothless and asking what to do with the two scattered teeth.
Notes on cotton production in 1905 1906 spanning Mexico Guatemala and Nigeria. Laguna Mexico crops reach about 70000 bales with 80000 bales from the United States sought by mills. Guatemala district Retalhulen develops Pachon a short season weevil resistant cotton. Turkey plans 2200 pounds seed import for Adana Aidin Salonika. Nigeria raw cotton exports fell to 96306 pounds in 1905 from 285639 in 1904 with new plantations expected to yield in 1906.
A Baltimore physician aboard a Charles Street car found a German man sprawling over two seats denying a tired woman a seat. The doctor urged him to move but the man grinned and said it is a joke, then revealed the man is his wife, ending with a playful quip.
In a witty exchange a society belle mocks a companion’s health and youth while another modestly replies she is well. The remark hints at social pressures and the notion that some lies are not as white as they are bleached, echoing a Philadelphia Ledger line.
A testimonial from William H. Gray of Philadelphia describes severe scalp itching starting about 1900 followed by a widespread eczema. After ineffective medical care he used Cuticura Soap Ointment and Resolvent plus baths and pills, reporting complete cure by August 1905 and urging others with skin itching to try the remedies.
A man in Paris discharged a loaded revolver while scratching his nose, blowing off the tip of his nose. In Wiltshire England a 46 year old “baby” died at Westbury workhouse, born there, treated like an infant throughout life. In Paris a sexagenarian collapsed at a photo session and was found dead, misinterpreted as fainting.
A sequence of humorous dialogues covers radium lunches and travel woes. Characters include Eddie, Uncle, Father, Willie, Nervous Old Lady, Porter, Mrs Nibs and Nibbs. The jokes hinge on misunderstandings about smoke limits and teeth in turkeys. A closing line notes poverty as a lifebuoy amid life’s waves.
Philadelphia gears up for government prosecutions against the Pennsylvania railroad and Standard Oil. Alexander Simpson Jr and Charles E Hughes weigh individual charges against A J Cassatt, president of the Pennsylvania. William A Glasgow Jr to join counsel. Antitrust violations and railroad divestiture feature in the plan and report.
A feature on Idaho’s Shoshone Falls and the Snake River cataracts describing the falls height, the series of jumps totaling 583 feet, Twin Falls, Augur and Swan Falls, and canyon grandeur. It notes the region once aimed as a national park, the tunnel project delivering power, and the irrigation potential transforming 575 square miles for crops, with wheat yields of 60 bushels per acre and London apple prices.
In Toledo Judge Kinkade imposes the maximum penalty on ice dealers found guilty in Ohio’s first ice trust case. Defendants face 5000 fine and one year in jail with immediate commencement. Court may remit part if restitution is made and the trust ceases operations. Prosecutor Wachenheimer inaugurates the case.
The New York police report the murder of Stanford White, partner at McKim, Mead & White, by Harry Kendall Thaw of a prominent Pittsburgh family. Three shots rang out during a performance, causing chaos and a quick arrest of the suspect.
San Francisco brief reports E W Mudge an army transport engineer appealed to authorities to locate his wife who vanished after he rushed from the Philippines upon learning of the earthquake and fire that destroyed their home.
The executive committee met here and decided to hold the annual convention in Washington on October 2, 3 and 4.
M C Latta of Oklahoma has been appointed assistant secretary to President Roosevelt, succeeding Benjamin F Barnes named postmaster at Washington. Latta has served as the president's personal stenographer.
The article advises cleaning woodwork with an equal mix of turpentine and linseed oil or old sweet oil. Shake well, apply with a flannel rag, and rub thoroughly. Use sparingly to avoid excess.
Society editor vents about lacking personal detail on Jiggins fiance while the managing editor suggests noting her skill with a chafing dish to satisfy readers. Chicago Sun tone hints at media vanity and light gossip.
A brisk note on Britain’s shipyards showing they could produce a large steamship daily if all yards worked in unison, reflecting industrial capacity and national effort during wartime or expansion. The idea emphasizes teamwork, scale, and steady output across major shipyards.
A Chinese murderer awaiting hanging in Batavia requested a ticket to Singapore to carry after death. The request was granted and the condemned man died with a smile on his face.
A British officer known as Gen Sir Redvers Buller is praised for cooking prowess and would likely secure a good position in a top hotel. The remark notes his past clashes with the Boers in South Africa and frames his culinary skill as a notable talent.
An explosive rock near the Tauern tunnel in Austria is under observation. The rock is highly compressed and can suddenly fling slabs several yards across the wall, posing a fatal hazard.
The 1904 marriage total reached 22 961 in Ireland. The excess of births over deaths stood at 24 298 but was outweighed by emigration of 36 902 persons.
Columbus Ohio Cassie L Chadwick serving a sentence in the state is reported to be suffering from an ailment resembling blood poisoning.
In Trondhjem Norway the coronation celebrations concluded with a grand reception at the palace attended by 800 guests and all royal personages in the city.
Washington and Jefferson College joins other institutions by abolishing Greek as a requirement in the classical curriculum. The move aligns its program with broader trends in higher education, reshaping degree prerequisites and course options for students.
Milwaukee reports discrepancies spanning years totaling about 50000 dollars were revealed after Fred Price, a Bank of Perinette clerk, was arrested on embezzlement charges. The case outlines alleged financial irregularities and the banking institution involved.
In a humorous American Spectator tale a pair of Alabama colored church deacons discuss the fate of a hen’s nest of a dozen large white eggs. Deacon Jones suggests stealing them to make a roaster’s meal while Deacon Smith debates the hens feelings and a higher duty to kindness.
A humorous observation contrasts male and female habits in daily tasks from stirring coffee to opening letters. It notes men delay and conceal, while women act quickly. The joke ends with a quip about a husband and wife marriage referenced by a Judge.
A trained nurse extols Grape-Nuts as delicate and adaptable for the sick and all ages. She notes a soaked preparation with water, egg white, and fruit flavoring as nourishing for fragile stomachs. Her physician husband uses it for patients, and she touts a 10 day trial to aid recovery, inviting readers to look for The Road to Wellville booklet.
A Chicago Record-Herald tale recalls a downtown druggist who sold moth balls to a customer described as an old country lad. The man returned the next day with several moth balls, declaring the product bad and joking he could use them for games rather than pest control.
An old item list cites vast timber acreages in British Columbia and enormous champagne bottle counts in French caves. It notes steam plows boosting West Indies sugarcane estates, a London dentist proposing by engraving on false teeth, a ring dispute over a newspaper seller in Friedrichstrasse, a sleeping sickness death toll in Africa, and a Weimar museum theft case involving Goethe manuscripts traced to a Berlin antiquarian.
The exchange centers on how to serve a check paying teller. Mr Lushington-Jusht prefers a similar preparation but with less selzer, as voiced by Puck.
A succinct adage underscores character by examining omissions. The speaker suggests restraint reveals discipline, ethics, and priorities better than boasts or visible actions, implying that true judgment rests on what a person avoids rather than what they pursue.
A quip compares the mails to soft soap and notes the ease of boasting about past glories when old-timers recall events better than the speaker. The dialogue reflects humorous social commentary on persuasion and memory in everyday life.
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