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Newspaper
The Democratic Press
Location
Eaton, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Feb 22, 1893
Page
4
A collage of jokes and quips from various newspapers featuring puns, banter, and light humor. Includes lines about miscommunication, common sayings, and humorous exchanges among everyday people and public figures, with a mix of fictional and observed scenes.
A ragged man, seen outside the Columbia Theater, is fed by a charitable passerby who buys him a full dinner in Monroe Street. The guest vows to reform after months of jails and squandered chances, finding hope in the strangers act of generosity.
A fragment from David Budge in Harper's Magazine presents a rustic dialogue about stubborn behavior and evasive talk. The exchange features quick repartee on cutting, saving money, and a plan to advance despite obstacles, echoing period speech patterns.
A St Louis guest touts using a bank bill to clean spectacles over other fabrics, claiming better results and no lint. The tale includes a Paris cafe sighting of a water mark joke about a high river mark and a shopkeeper quip.
A historic football match at Cardiff required extreme thawing of the field. Two hundred braziers and multiple bonfires were used to thaw frost, field warmth was preserved with straw, and workers prepared the ground before kickoff. In a separate note, a New Yorker returns home to a rice pudding lunch and afterward finds seven tax collars missing from his wife’s starches.
Local retailer announces a “horizontal reduction” to clear an oversized carpet stock. The sale boasts record low prices on Body and Brussels carpets, moquettes, art squares, rugs, mats, oilcloths and linoleum with emphasis on no profit to the seller. Limited time bargain-driven event urges immediate purchases.
A City Hall park encounter ends with a sobbing boy who confesses misfortune from street life and hunger. A reporter helps by providing funds for a small steak after the boy recalls a dream of a roast duck and steak, revealing his desperate desire for dinner and shelter.
A humorous tale recounts Judge Mack of Kansas testing social warmth by carrying a watermelon in public. Passersby respond with quirky reactions from a dignified matron to a German and a Frenchman, culminating in the judge paying for the melon the next day.
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