10 Feb 1859
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 9 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
The Clermont Courier
Location
Batavia, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Feb 10, 1859
Page
1
A rustic tale recounts Bill Wallis declaring himself the ugliest man on earth and reflecting on his appearance since childhood. His daughter Lucy rebukes self insult as he recalls a long, troubled search for acceptance and a surprising turn when he marries Sally.
A veteran recounts earlier ugliness and rough times with old women and boats. He describes a Mobile visit, a fight on a flatboat, a street crowd reaction after an explosion, a Dutch grinder incident, escapes via Wetumpka, and a near lightning strike, ending with a startled Mrs. Wallis reacting to the tale.
A parish priest tests a clerical protestant minister with evasive words for Pat who answers in humor. A French couple seeking a clandestine marriage commit a dramatic drowning gesture, then survive. A Paris placard warns against mistaking a shop for a quack, and a tall tale of a man with oversized feet ends with a punchline.
Artemus Ward describes a Baldinsville séance by Spiritualists where Mrs Ward and Ward attend, and Ward mocks spiritualists while recounting converging acts with William Tompkins and others. He details the meeting, its characters, and a comic backstage atmosphere before noting a later social scene with Monsieur Gaillard and a mistaken invitation for a different Gaillard.
A twenty five year old bachelor, Monsieur Gaillard, attends a Paris ball hosted by Baron d'A- after receiving a note inviting him through a female intermediary. He hopes to dance with the host's daughter, Mademoiselle d'A-, and performs with notable elegance. The music shifts to a waltz as he sustains his partner’s lead.
Paris Morning Post correspondent recalls the famous Yorkshire groom Baron Ward who rose from jockey in Vienna to Duke of Lucca’s stable head, then minister and diplomat for Parma. He later served as Prime Minister, helped Charles II abdicate, and died retired farmer in Austria with a life full of varied, dramatic service. He left four children and spoke German, French, Italian despite no formal education.
Amateur sporting man Mr M pursues dog fighting glory while spending time at rat pits and playing seven up for oysters. He spots a cross bull pointer dog with a fierce look, eyeing the animal as his next prospect and his own belligerent ambitions rise.
A buyer names M. purchases a fierce dog named Conqueror for five dollars from a wary seller in Cincinnati. The animal attacks and nearly bites him as Conqueror chases the gun and the buyer drops the weapon. The buyer flees as the dog returns to the former owner, realizing he has been outsmarted in the canine bargain.
An old debate recounts speakers supporting a tax funded botanical medical college in Wetumpka. A Monroe delegate Mocked the bill with a tale of a pretend root doctor and a horse as soup, derailing the measure amid House laughter and disbelief.
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