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Newspaper
The Alma Record
Location
Alma, Michigan, United States of America
Date
Nov 20, 1896
Page
3
A jumble of short notices covers health remedies and scams, local elections bets, counterfeit coins, teacher discipline appeals, school and village bonds, a new electric plant, and civic notes from Marshall to Northville. Notable mentions include aging voters near 100, the Northville federal project extension, and plans for a silk mill in Belding.
An advertisement extols Dean's Kidney Pills as a cure for chronic backache caused by disordered kidneys. It cites a testimonial from D. D. Cook of Grand Rapids who credits the pills with ending years of pain and lame difficulty after military service. Sold by Milburn Co. Buffalo at 50 cents.
Funds raised from subscriptions of 15 to 250 dollars were used to pay taxes on a new mill for ten years. Subscriptions were invested in mortgages and securities. By careful management and low village taxes the fund grew, and this fall the ten year term ended with subscribers receiving their initial amounts plus about 50 percent interest. The mill’s securing also sparked further industries, boosting the village into a prosperous city.
Rev E F Crane of Dunkirk New York claims that Thom wa E electric O l taken into the nostrils two or three times weekly will positively relieve the most offensive case of catarrh.
In Massachusetts on Martha's Vineyard a sailor applies for a teaching post. He trembles yet passes the committee's exam with the question on the earth's shape. Asked how he knows it is round, he replies he has sailed around it three times. The chairman awards the certificate without further questions.
An old advertisement describes Shaker Digestive Cordial from Mount Lebanon claiming to cure indigestion and promote strength and health after digestion. It lists symptoms like stomach cramps headaches wind and offensive breath and promotes a 10 cent bottle at druggists.
In a Newbury and Dartmouth street car a middle aged woman offers her seat to an old lady, prompting shocked silence from well dressed passengers who cling to their seats. The incident, on a line famed for refinement, is noted to dispel the illusion of universal courtesy.
An advertisement claims Ayer's Ser saparius as a reliable blood-purifier due to being an extract rather than a decoction. It contrasts muddy coffee and medicine bottles with a sediment-free product, promising clarity and efficacy.
A Brooklyn furniture promotion offered solid oak chiffoniers for 98 cents, drawing a large crowd before opening. The rush overwhelmed clerks and caused disorder as orders for 1,641 chiffoniers were taken before the sale was halted. Local manager sought a remedy amid the chaotic scene.
The San Francisco Call reports on Guanajuato Mexico's ancient burying ground on a mountain spur near the city core. Crypts built into 12 foot walls hold coffins rented for five years then renewed for 100 more, or moved to a bone yard if not renewed.
The Otaheite orange is a compact dwarf plant with dark glossy foliage and orange blossoms followed by tiny oranges. A six inch high specimen blooms in a three inch pot, thrives when not root bound, and requires careful summer growth as its flowers seasonally bloom.
The excerpt blends garden notes on growing a fragrant plant with a portrait of New York’s fire department. It contrasts tender care of a potted specimen near a sunlit window with praise for a capital city fire service famed for equipment, horses, and highly selected, rigorously trained personnel.
A retired Marquis renowned as a duelist recalls dueling cousins in Paris, recounting two incidents at the Opera foyer. He notes a fight with his cousin Marquis du Hallays ending when one hand was wounded, and a later encounter where he avoids combat by politely apologizing to a novice swordsman, fearing mercy.
The Whisttigg Langusee of Gomer Maryland argues the ariel discussion of whienling language ties Inland of Goaper to the Canary region. He claims a Royal Interne Ustenettion theory, noting tongue movements and mouth patterns link to colonial linguistic roots. The claim centers on a single queenly language with complex phonetics and a juried debate over its true origin.
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