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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Sumner Gazette
Location
Sumner, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 22, 1890
Page
3
An English barber allegedly trained a parrot to announce customer arrivals with lines such as Gentlemen wants to be shaved and pay your mover. A Parisian violinist’s wife is said to train a parrot to greet customers with Oh isn’t she pretty, purportedly doubling her business.
An Augusta Michigan Central Railroad agent sues over kidney disease and impaired health linked to work. After seven years of contest he credits recovery to Hibbard's Rheumatic Syrup and LARZILERE, praising the medicine and urging others to seek relief through the Charles Wright Medicine Company, Detroit.
A ragged miscellany piece mixes a street exchange about a dog with a comic misread of a dog owner. It shifts to a collation of ads for Dr Pierce’s medicine and a card shuffler invention. A thunderstorm at Salem Va reveals a silver teapot containing a infant skull inscribed 1825.
A children’s page tale recalls the son who cherished his father’s war horse named for John J. Crittenden. The boy recalls a retreat and jokes about Colin J. The narrative links his later life to Custer and the Little Bighorn, per Harper’s Magazine. It also includes a humorous essay about breath and the contrast between Jenny and Joe, exploring generosity, education, and gender roles, with further light family vignettes about April Fool’s Day pranks and Uncle John.
Bert laments the boyish mind while Grete notes the difficulty of ruling the young. Mid, the pretty wee girl, naps in Uncle Julia’s chair until she is secretly awake. She proclaims April Fool, fooling the adults and drawing her siblings to share the joke. The scene captures a playful family moment reported by Youti’s Companion.
The article traces early telegraphy via submarine cables noting how initial high power currents were sent through condensers to cut ground interference. It explains the shift from a reflecting galvanometer to the syphon galvanometer, which records needle movements with an ink jet. It highlights reduced eye strain and faster message reception with the syphon device.
A Boston Post letter discusses poverty and vanity suggesting poor men earn their living and feel slight superiority. It argues wealth can foster humility as inherited money requires no effort, yet notes some pose as important at home about business. The writer questions the depth of modesty in devout people.
At the Authors' Club of New York Henry C. Bunner introduces Clemens to an English visitor as Mark Twain. The visitor, told by Bunner that the humorist Mark Twain exists in America, asks if there is an American humorist by that name. Clemens plays along, noting a joke on someone but not fully appreciating it as the Englishman wonders who was joked about.
An elderly woman in black with a gray shawl sits mid-car and ignores a conductor’s smoking ban. She cites the rules and company, lights a clay pipe with a shoe sole as a spark, and remains calm until alighting, prompting a tense, humorous clash over authority and etiquette.
A Victorian style remark about a woman who refuses marriage is cited as a public joke. In Middleborough England locals chase rumors of petroleum after experimental borings reach 2,000 feet.
A religious column reflects on precepts of mercy citing Emperor Sigismund and Alexander the Great. It notes how mercy toward enemies can convert foes into friends and how steadfast regard turns friends into loyal allies.
A devotional tribute to mothers, praising an aged mother, noting scars of time yet cherishing her steadfast love. The speaker vows to honor and support her in declining years, envisioning her protective care and blessing beyond death or hardship.
The piece argues religion is more than emotion, stressing being and doing over feeling alone. It cites James on faith with works and warns against pride, sharing a parable of a boy boasting of quick Bible memory and a failed recital of Esther.
A St Louis Nepublic item quotes Sallie V Du Bois urging readers to find inner peace amid trials and ward off church fault finding. She cites biblical lessons from Gideon and Scripture, urging zeal in duty and joyful conduct as proof of faith.
A playful dialogue between Mr Arden and Ethel ends with a twist of affection as a speaker admits loving deeply. The scene shifts to a business note where Weeks discusses resting an account for a year or two. The item closes with a report that General Grant's memoirs have netted his widow about $900,000.
A Panama region tale describes how villagers lure inquisitive monkeys with sugar in a hollow coconut. Monkeys insert paws, get trapped as net lowers, then are captured and sold to railroad workers, ending up in North America via dealers.
An 1890s San Diego Union style anecdote portrays a bank clerk warning of imminent crisis and Arctic drift pushing the Gulf Stream southward. The tale follows a dyspeptic cashier at a restaurant recounting grim prophecies involving Newfoundland Banks, glacial epochs, and a hoard of quixotic forecasts from Paternoster Row to Westminster Abbey.
A young naval officer recalls Lieut. Commander McCalla's rigid discipline. McCalla orders a midshipman to check for a package at the post office, but the man insists he cannot act beyond his exact orders. The exchange ends with the officer realizing the midshipman did the right thing within his instructions.
A rioting exchange unfolds as a voter challenges the candidate’s Union service claims. The man asserts fighting Indians and sleeping on frozen ground with sky as cover, while the voter demands proof. The candidate confirms and ends with a decisive shift, saying he will vote for the other man.
An English woman in Canada, facing a deer that toppled family laundry and was attacking her, used a large pair of tongs as a weapon. Within five minutes the buck's skull was smashed to a jelly, leaving her in tears but safe. Nearby, an alarm bell rang as the odd incident drew attention.
The passage highlights how Chinese learners imitate precisely once they master a task, illustrated by a teacher and pupil in a Sunday school reading scene. It also includes an insurance ad and a statistician’s note on Europe and North America’s annual fish catch totaling 150,000 tons, equating to 42 million sheep in weight and 50 million in nourishing power.
Advert reads Kemp's Balsam for throat and lungs as a universal cure with a money back guarantee and a dollar trial size. It notes Paris city accident prompting potential European-bound travelers to switch to slower sternship options, with ten-day ships in high demand.
A jumble of patently marketing lines and scattered notices. Claims for Hibbard's pills and Thena PINs with dubious cures mix with reports of violence near Gatinay and government land offers in South Dakota. In addition there are references to a talking machine, Dbobins’ soap, and various medical remedies.
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