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Newspaper
Sugar City Times
Location
Sugar City, Idaho, United States of America
Date
Jun 26, 1913
Page
2
A string of sharp wits and stale gags lampoons daily life from a St. Louis sausage quip to a Brooklyn airship arrest. Jests on costumes, marriages, auctions, and cats mix with riffs on Rome to New York, Reno, and Washington society.
Government figures show each person in the United States possessing 84.72 dollars. The remark adds a hopeful note that the figures are equally consoling.
A British specialist claims Napoleon Bonaparte died of cancer. Postmortems a century later are generally unsatisfactory. A Brooklyn girl set fire to a house seven times in seven weeks driven by sadness and hints of deeper harm.
A Massachusetts centenarian credits Johnnycake for reaching a century and says hearty eaters live long. Beachcombers recover 3000 dollars in watches and diamonds from Rockaway Beach but question the need to wear valuables while bathing.
A St Louis bride halted her wedding to declare she will not nag her husband, framing it as a hobby rather than a serious vow. The lighthearted moment drew smiles as guests witnessed the unconventional pledge.
Berlin reports that airmen have been forbidden to fly over the palace at Potsdam and other castles of the nobility as authorities tighten patrols. The note hints at growing serial police measures and a shift in daily routines for workers long accustomed to different gear.
The author argues saving should fit family needs and personal circumstances. A young man should save as much as possible without harming others, with charitable giving varying from ten to fifty percent of income. Savings grow with wage increases, guarding against unemployment or illness. Emphasizes frugality, industry, and steady saving to avoid extravagance.
A city store owner used robbery and a railroad president’s joke to boost sales. He pasted news clippings in windows alongside burglary tools and rubber boots. The gambit increased demand for the lock and bolt stock and cleared his rubber inventory within a week.
News briefs from 1863 recount foraging trains seized near Romney Virginia burns and captures, Union and Confederate movements, proclamations and arrests, blocade-related commerce, bank bills and currency reforms, river gunboat actions, and raids across Kentucky and Mississippi with hostages and reprisals.
A historical discussion argues that loud factory noise reduces output and harms workers. It cites a German firm saving seven percent after soundproofing and notes tired, disrupted workers suffer further distress, sometimes turning to drink. Reducing unnecessary noise is urged as essential for humane, efficient labor.
A fragmentary exchange suggests an unresolved quarrel over marriage plans. One speaker recalls warning Maud that Jack was crazy to marry her, provoking offense, while another asks why. The context implies a marital dispute or social tension centered on engagement.
A mercantile superintendent explains that the key to promotion is pleasing cranky customers. A new clerk focuses on difficult patrons, learns their money is as good, builds a personal trade, and gains recognition. The superintendent fulfills the promise of advancement.
The Wage Earning Children's Commission helped push the 1903 Employment of Children Act. It focuses on school-age workers and spurred English towns to pass by-laws regulating children's working hours.
The adage links work to rest, stating rest sustains effort and effort enables enjoyment. It emphasizes disciplined work followed by deserved relaxation to maintain productivity and well being.
The year 1913 will mark the fiftieth anniversaries of Gettysburg Chickamauga Chattanooga and Chancellorsville with a Gettysburg battlefield observance. It also notes the hundredth anniversary of events in the second war with England and Balboa’s discovery of the Pacific Ocean with Panama Canal opening festivities. Argentina asserts independence in 1813 and notable births include Richard Wagner and Henry Bessemer.
Professor K Jefferson Richards of Boston advocates barefoot life as remedy for humanity. He urges ditching shoes and foot coverings in all weather, arguing that a well developed foot should not be pinched or distorted by leather footwear.
At a Denver advertising banquet Dr. H Wood Avery recounted a story about a young actress who misplaced pearls. She placed a lost and found ad and the pearls were returned, prompting a remark that advertising can return the real things, not merely the scientific ones.
Condensed ad touts Munyon's Paw-Paw Pills as unlike other laxatives. They claim to gentle stimulate the liver and stomach without scourging or weakening, enriching the blood and aiding nourishment. Price 25 cents and available at all druggists.
A coroner's physician claims Americans are identified abroad by ankle scars from rocking chairs. He argues that sleeping in dark bedrooms causes collisions with sharp rocker points, leaving five or six scars on each ankle. The description contrasts male stiff ankles with female supple ankles as national markers.
At a Sunday miners picnic in Butte a tug of war between Irish and Slovak teams turned into a brawl as the Slovaks led and the Irishmen dropped the rope and fought. One Irishman pressed an opponent, a friend offered to join, and the two exchanged challenges.
A brief dialogue shows a Sunday school setting with a teacher affirming creation and a child noting pride in being made by the Lord. The exchange centers on faith and self worth expressed by a small girl and the teacher.
A crusty barber tells a customer his hair is falling out, and the man responds humorously that his skull is so hard it cannot fall in. The exchange highlights a dry joke about resilience and self deprecation.
A wry remark that a mirror serves as the best critic because it always faces the truth, echoing a playful view on self examination and reflection as a standard of judgment.
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