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Newspaper
Steele City Press
Location
Steele City, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Oct 02, 1909
Page
2
A garbled set of jokes and notes from newspapers includes a doctor explaining a hospital visit for a roof fund, a mural like Miss Passay remark, a horse and car anecdote, a marriage reform quip, a patience line, and a husband who supports suffrage meetings with a late return home.
Witty exchanges frame concerns about a daughter's musical taste and a man’s hobby progress. A parent hopes her aversion to simple pieces signals future musical ambition while another man jokes about trying gardening after narrowly missing the season.
A garbled dialogue from a London Opinion piece shows a mumbled exchange about employment and marriage. A chauffeur and a specialist discuss work while a chemistry question prompts a dull joke about sea water and fish.
A humorous dialogue from News In the Zoo features a cautious man answering he was a giraffe and merely rubbernecked. The Kansas City Journal wires and Washington Star note the exchange as a witty contrast about investing parody.
The excerpt recalls a wedding write up where the groom is described as effeminate and the reporter treated the groom with notable pace. It contrasts with wedding coverage that emphasizes the bride. Includes a quip about an American lad’s presidential chances from a Harper's reference.
A fragment recounts a voiced dispute where one speaker accuses another of misrepresentation and smoking a cigarette. The exchange features a demand for fairness and a boast that the item is a genuine two-for, implying a deceptive claim.
Fragmentary OCR text mentions a person named Mother Hubvard and fashion focus. The readable portion implies a scene about someone viewing up-to-date fashions and considering their own dress, but the details are incomplete.
A terse, unclear line mentions challenging someone and marrying an idiot if he were to, followed by a refusal and a prompt to ask for proof. The readable text conveys fragmented expressions of doubt and personal stance.
An Eastern professor advocates that college boys and girls mingle a little frivolity with their studies. The commentator replies that he must keep advising his son to mix some study with his frivolity.
Daisy questions whether he is truly mean and Maisie doubts he would pay a compliment unless pressed for it. The exchange hints at tension and power dynamics in their relationship.
A dialogue from papers mentions an end-seat hog as the fellow who takes the seat you desire. A taxicabman answers a fare indicator question with a boastful remark about avoiding arrest for scorching a short trip.
A playful dialogue features a punchline about ice that melts in the mouth and a misinformed rumor about a fisherman brother being lucky. The snippet contrasts a boastful joke with a rural belief about luck in maritime work.
A Baltimore American quip notes a pet parrot using grand words. The speaker jokes that speech would flow better if she started with polly syllables, a playful dig at the bird’s verbose chatter.
A reader shares relief after using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for years of female illness including inflammation and congestion. She reports doctors said only an operation could help, but she became well without surgery. The testimonial credits the remedy with restoring health and vitality.
A note from England warns that valuable race horses with gold fillings in their teeth are prone to poor appetite and illness before racing, risking performance and welfare during training and events.
Old people are urged to use Cascarets for gentle daily bowel support while harsh medicine is said to cause dependence. The Veat-pocket box costs 10 cents. Each genuine tablet bears CCC. Also noted are a Lake Champlain tercentenary observance and a Parisian antiquarian paying 750,000 francs for a Marfels watch collection. Stromboli volcano is described as erupting for two thousand years. Black and white hat trends mentioned.
Mrs. L. C. Fridley of Delphos Ohio describes a six year worsening kidney trouble that left her bedridden and exhausted until she used Dean's Kidney Pills. She credits the remedy with restoring her health and urges continued use. Also notes vaste opium imports and vast annual herring catches.
An unclear notice promotes the Nateral Uterine Supporter with immediate effects and mailed particulars. The listing references HE WASTINGS & McINTOSH TRUSS CO at 618 Wa'nat St. in an American and Canadian market.
An advertisement promotes National Lead Company testing gear to verify pure white lead for painters. It also notes a Swedish geologist predicting iron reserves near exhaustion in fifty years, with most deposits outside the United States.
Roger Kelly, a deaf mute and partially blind, has just graduated from Shaw University and is admitted to practice before the North Carolina Supreme Court. The note cites his achievement alongside other diverse items found in the issue.
One hundred dollar reward for any catarrh cure that fails. J Cheney & Co Toledo advertise Hall's Catarrh Cure taken internally, claiming it works on the blood. Local druggists offer the product and promote family pills for constipation along with border and cotton material notes.
A garbled excerpt notes a process in cork regions of Spain involving boiling and distilling substances to produce a gas used as a stimulant. It mentions a residue sold as Spanish black and references bottled water of milk and various useless items.
Mrs Matilda Holtert of Providence testifies that Alien s Foot-Ease gives real relief to sore tired feet and praises it as a rare good. Druggists sell the remedy, price 25 cents.
A brief items fragment notes the Piedmont region with mentions of Cheat lands and cheap labor. It highlights a delightful climate and strong potential for cotton, grains, fruits, and vegetables, referencing the New South Trust Co and Coatelina in a promotional tone.
A writer notes Brazilian embroidery on sheets pillow cases and towels, highlighting heavy monograms up to a half inch, and warns of discomfort and potential danger from raised stitching. The piece describes monogram placement and advises caution before sleeping in beds with embossed letters.
The Philadelphia Record notes evening gowns evolving with full skirts from the waist, pointed bodices, decollete necks and lace flounces. Few have dared wear them yet as two firms and several fashion leaders plan adaptations. Hair trends echo earlier centuries with curls and blunt, styled waves, while Paris shows a casque effect hairstyle deemed unattractive.
A short tale notes a boy's refusal to go to the country despite promises of wonders, citing a preference for hand labor because threshing machines scare him. The humorous exchange ends with his stubborn reply.
In a witty exchange from Puck Mrs Crawford asks if her doctor endorsed a trip to a mountain resort. Mrs Crabshaw replies she cannot go, saying she could not get the doctor to agree, and adds a jab about new dresses helping her mood.
The dialogue between Rose and Tulip humorously notes a vine’s rapid climb this season and mocks a for nothing seeker as a costly lesson in experience. The Garden humor captures urban newspaper wit in a light, personified plant exchange.
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