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Newspaper
Steele City Press
Location
Steele City, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Jul 09, 1915
Page
3
A compilation of Gag quotes and quips including Joseph J. Russell on resignation, a bachelor’s marriage joke, Bowles and The Birth of a Nation, an editor’s elastic approach, a Bowles dinner reply, a Philadelphia Ledger joke, oddities about oceans and Icelandic horses, and a general note on patience as a path to success.
A jumble of short jokes and anecdotes from a bygone era. Humorous quips about scales misjudging a baby, cotton production in Imperial Valley, misinterpreted slang, a Philadelphia cook’s past, and light exchanges on love and war humor.
A collage of brief, humorous vignettes and dialogue snippets from a vintage newspaper page. Bits include a man waiting in a restaurant and a child explaining a needle’s eye, along with light exchanges about hair, music, and love in everyday scenes.
Governor Morehead signs proclamation for Purity Sunday on July 18 urging moral uplift, literacy pride, and strict enforcement of law. Emphasizes church and societal support to ensure children grow free from taint through birth and education.
Eight counties increase their assessment to the secretary of the state board of equalization. Box Butte shows a fall to 2,054,264, down 15,305 from last year, partly due to low wheat valuation. Other counties include Antelope 5,427,030 up 68,465 Cheyenne 2,427,959 up 23,862 Franklin 2,913,449 up 96,410 Hall 8,135,147 up 817,462 Harlan 3,912,257 up 101,094 Hitchcock 1, Ath oN a up 68,225 Sarpy 4,319,464 up 55,664. The board also plans to buy a carload of whole palncy in brine for state institutions next winter.
A farmers union forms at Murdock and a Maywood fair is planned for October. North Platte builds a 46000 dollar school. Schuyler postmaster named F G Covat. York county reports 1099 pianos. West Point race offers nearly 4000 in purses. Brownville ships 10000 cases of berries. Lyons hosts a large farmer gathering. Semicentennial planning for 1917. Lincoln water and track pride noted. Hastings bond passes. Omaha man injured in a fall.
A wife sits alone waiting for supper on her birthday and feels forgotten until her husband returns with a tiny parcel. He apologizes with a loving message and gifts her pipe cleaners, then reveals the gag gift of feathers to please her, claiming her hairpins caused the change.
An advertisement touts Cuticura Ointment with Precede shampoos to treat dandruff itching and scalp irritation and claims benefits for complexion hair hands and skin. Free samples by mail with a postcard request to Cuticura Dept XY Boston. Then a humorous family anecdote about clothing passes from father to son.
Walter Baker & Co Ltd of Dorchester, Massachusetts secure the Grand Prize for cotton and chocolate preparations at the Panama-Pacific Exposition. The firm notes six high awards across Europe and America, reflecting its prominence in the industry.
Many war zone hospitals have ordered Allen's Foot-Ease for convalescent troops. Shaken into shoes or used in foot baths it refreshes and prevents tired or sore feet. Sold everywhere 25c. Free pamphlet available from Allen S. Olmsted LeRoy NY. Adv. If girls cultivated dispositions as assiduously as complexions fewer marriages would fail.
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