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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Spencer News
Location
Spencer, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jun 24, 1909
Page
7
A collection of short, pithy sayings and quips on life, love, honesty, and society drawn from a Chicago News style column. It critiques pretensions, gender relations, and human foibles with sharp, tongue in cheek observations. Also advertises Allen’s Foot-Ease sample and pricing.
In Portland on East Firteenth and East Ankeny streets two carpenters working on J. G. Schmidt’s house fell from a scaffold. One plunged into a half filled cement barrel and stuck fast while the other dangled from the ceiling. Schmidt and architect Otto Kleemann rescued the men, breaking the barrel to free the one trapped in cement.
A witty collection of housing a friend in need becomes a trend to bleed. Philosophy is a cheap form of consolation for show not use. The way a girl learns flirting is being born able to do it a mighty good poke that can stand the way most people tell it. The danger of a man with an ounce of plains is he thinks it is 40 tons.
In a historic Boston Post report, a dog named Major testified in a superior criminal court before Judge De Courcy. The collie, acting as defense witness and co defendant to Charles Neszery, helped secure an acquittal as Major wagged his tail rather than answer questions.
Five year confirmed statement from Elder A Pickerill of 1808 West Fourth Street Marion Indiana praises Doan's Kidney Pills for relief from kidney passage pain and misery. Publicly endorsed in a 206 1 note, listing Foster Milburn Buffalo NY as the maker and 50 cent boxes. Includes light sensational quotes and jokes from Chicago News.
A hospital tale shows a patient hungry after a promise of food. The nurse serves tapioca and the doctor insists all actions remain proportionate. Two hours later the patient begs for a postage stamp to read, revealing the irony of strict limits.
Henry Searle of Little Rock Ark describes a year of severe itching and a failed hospital treatment for eczema. After two to three applications of Cuticura Ointment, plus Cuticura Soap and Pills, he was completely cured. Boston is listed as the remover's origin.
A terse collection of opinions on generosity, thrift, and gender. It notes how a man may feel virtuous by giving, how a wife’s happiness depends on travel, and how a young woman’s engagement affects her perception of flirtation. It closes with a quip about a woman’s wardrobe concerns signaling her temper.
An OCR fragment advertises Maurine Eye Remedy for red weak weary eyes and claims relief with claims of conformity to law. The text also includes a disjointed Boston Transcript teacher pun about a pupil and age, presented as a separate mental arithmetic example.
The 19th century tale recounts the rise and fall of the Holy Terror mine near Keystonn linked to Mrs. Franklin's maledictions. Fatalities, a flight from Deadwood, a later sale for eighty thousand dollars, and years of litigation and bankrupting accidents followed the mine's cursed destiny.
Thomas Stanton once police magistrate in St. Louis resigned due to doctor orders seeking health, now works as a street sweeper earning $1.50 a day. He says the job improves his health and he prefers the simpler life over large earnings. Stanton was once a baseball umpire in multiple minor leagues.
A fragmented collection of 19th century verse and prose items. The text blends a fictional ballad about a perfect wife with short humorous or domestic snippets, tobacco market notes, and light social quips. References include a judge, a Kentucky tobacco growth forecast, and assorted captions from period publications.
A Baltimore American report notes a breach of promise case involving a young engaged couple. The woman received five thousand dollars in settlement amid the dispute, reflecting a high stakes marital wager of the era.
A southern public school superintendent shares how his mother, long plagued by heart trouble and stomach distress from heavy coffee use, improved after switching to Postum. The family discarded coffee for Postum, noting fewer headaches and better overall health, with the mother becoming as well as others. The letter promotes Postum and invites readers to learn about its benefits.
Washington dispatches recount a chaotic call to Representative Walter Brownlow of Tennessee. The operator, inexperienced or asleep, failed to connect to the White House as Brownlow demanded. After enduring delays, he erupted, and a voter shouted, creating a public political jab at government accessibility.
Antique ad copy extols Allen's Foot-Ease powder as a clean antiseptic shake for shoes that cures while you walk. It touts vast testimonies of foot cures, claims on swelling perspiring feet, prevents irritation, saves stock ing costs, and urges buyers to seek the advertised original. Includes moralizing notes on imitators and urged to request the genuine product.
Rockland Maine resident Mrs Winn Young credits Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for relief from chronic backache. Ad claims backache signals female weakness and urges readers to write Mrs Pinkham in Lynn Massachusetts for free advice. Also includes ad copy for fly papers and agents offering postcards with wholesale prices.
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