29 Oct 1881
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Somerville Weekly Critic
Location
Somerville, Alabama, United States of America
Date
Oct 29, 1881
Page
1
A collection of puns and wry observations on wit, manners, and social foibles. Jokes about a wospen cave burglars to chiropodists, dental humor, astronomy quips, and humorous mishearings. Includes lines about a tongue tied telephone operator and a pompous critic, all in a breezy late night brief.
A humorous reminiscence of an outing to buy cotton batting for a small box. The narrator and a companion encounter overzealous sales staff, awkward questions, and misread quantities at Tremont Street stores, ending with a comic escape and lingering annoyance. The piece shifts to a fog anecdote and puns about fog and legal terms, tying in social observations and playful asides from the Boston Globe style.
A Chicago tale follows Bob Perkins and family as a devastating fire consumes their office and home, destroying assets but leaving payments in mortgaged bonds intact. Bob clings to a parcel of papers while the city rebuilds, ending with a cautionary note about meeting him if readers recall the tale.
The general recalls an 1559 Indian fight where a lieutenant was shot by a redskin with a revolver. The ball damaged his left hand and abdomen, lodging in the back muscles, causing fever, pus pockets, and bone splintering requiring repeated operations. The ball later fractured a cyst, paralyzed his right leg, halted work, and finally ceased troubling him after about a year.
The piece surveys unwritten etiquette shaping civilized and savage manners, with examples of ritual salutes among rulers and a tale of a king dying from strict rules. It also reviews equine racing feats, rejuvenation myths at Carlsbad, and notes on bees and commercial honey production with glucose-fed stock.
The fragment mentions a person sending a note or message and references a tone of secrecy. No clear names, places, dates, or organizations are readable. The readable portion hints at a personal communication but lacks verifiable details for a full news item.
A rambling collection of vignettes and snippets including a dog show fantasy, a rustic editor, Persian sun worship and Druids, a hare and fox fable with a legal twist, a timid Austrian soporific tale, a Washington cemetery mystery, and a description of rapid screw-making machinery and its tiny crane-like picker.
A humorous exchange unfolds as Pat, a busy servant, tells a visitor Mr Suwith is at work in his interim beyond, while Pat muses over a garden named cucumber beds and a humorous quare name. The scene captures local color and Pat’s practical wit.
Chapa Lorisi Keniooc commends public exposure of a long known scandal in which aspiring American girls seeking classical education are ruined morally. Kellogg cites investigations showing many face coercion by unscrupulous men and theater managers who demand engagements or moral concessions, leaving hopeful performers with little public chance unless they yield.
English law bars re trial after acquittal, but applies differently to magistrate dismissals. A farmer, once acquitted of arson, was later sued by an insurer for false imprisonment. Fresh evidence emerged, leading to five years penal servitude for the farmer.
The Civil Service Commission discussed employing female clerks in Canada. It concluded it was not advisable, arguing women require supervision by a female supervisor and that few suitable candidates exist. The report questions the feasibility of such appointments across departments.
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