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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Sidney Telegraph
Location
Sidney, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Mar 27, 1909
Page
3
An excerpt from London Punch Almanac features satirical quips about marriage, theater, and social manners. It includes exchanges on betrothal and gender, a joke about dreams and money, and light banter about travel to New Zealand.
Dialogue reveals a man denying redress for an alleged theft of a valuable ante by Merritt. De Garry questions the misappropriation and restitution terms as Merritt explains the item belonged to him originally and could have been recovered if not for another party's involvement.
A collage of quoted jokes and quips from legacy papers features crooks and courts, romances and misread loves, vaccination debates, cigarette lore, optimists and pessimists, and gruff guides. The snippets capture light humor and social slang across multiple unnamed papers.
The article outlines common paint defects signaling adulteration and urges repainting as the remedy. It promotes a painting guide, a color-spec book, and a test instrument from National Lead Co. to ensure purity, plus the Dutch Boy Painter trademark as a purity guarantee. It notes increasing use of metallic gauze by fashion designers in fabrics.
A historical column offers a home remedy mixing whiskey with syrup sarsaparilla and Torle compound, dosed before meals and bedtime, touted as best known to medical science. It also notes dating regrets and cheese as meat substitute, followed by a record of a seven inch steel fork found in the stomach of a bullock killed at Longport England.
A passenger recalls a Do Not Spit on the Floor sign aboard a Weehawken ferry and mentions life preservers under seats. The text also notes a novel sound producing toy and steel ties for Cleveland street rails replacing decayed wooden ties during a large reconstruction of avenues.
Invoice of whalebone at Dundes Scotland sold for 10000 dollars, far below last season. American whaling fleet has dropped from 736 vessels to 33, signaling a sharp industry decline.
A Chicago News account recalls a settler’s wife in Australia facing an invading group of natives. She feeds them then pours boiling water on the crowd, shouting I give you budgeey fuck-out, a brutal act that drove the attackers from the station and left them terrified of returning.
Miss May Sinclair plans a short novel titled Kitty Tallleur. Hal Calne will publish his autobiography. Prof Allen Johnson of Bowdoin compiles Stephen A. Douglas A Study in American Politics. Ellen Glasgow nears The Ancient Law about Virginian life. Churchill’s new novel title undisclosed but forthcoming. W D Howells relays a joke about Pierre Loti and rat traps. The Mongols by Jeremiah Curtin. prelude Russia Under the Mongols next. Watts-Dunton examines Dickens and Father Christmas in Nineteenth Century.
A countryman is tricked into exchanging a promised fine hen for a rosebush that proves to be only a sprig. The swindler expects time will turn it into a hen, and the countryman replies that patience will yield a fowl or a rose one day.
A London Express humor piece features Sammy and Willie discussing fathers and what they do for a living. Willie says his father is a man who provides for his family, and the joke pivots on the absurd line that he draws artichokes and houses.
Fragmentary note suggests a map may deem liberties reduced after marriage, implying decreased personal freedom. No clear date or source attribution available to confirm context or origin.
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