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Newspaper
Semi Weekly Herald
Location
Eldora, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 19, 1905
Page
6
A collection of humorous jabs and quips from The Herald featuring mock—yet pointed—observations on fashion, language, crime, politics, and science. The piece riffs on Sarah Bernhardt, Henry James, cultural stereotypes, a forgery case, boxing plans, and seasonal weather asides with a light, satirical tone.
Predictions split on wheat yield between 340 million and 425 million bushels, with ample supply. A boy who stretched to midshipman eligibility shows ambition to outpace classmates. A bankruptcy claim ties to a man famed for saying women could dress on 65 dollars a year, due to 15000 in bills. Worries over a fridge den melt fade as ash producer concerns fall flat.
A quaint remark contrasts the old-time schoolmaster’s disdain for easy schooling with a current professor’s plan to simplify classroom work. The piece wittily contemplates Alma Tadema selling a painting titled The Finding of Moses for £14,000, speculating on Pharaoh’s daughter’s attire for the occasion.
A foreign correspondent reports Sir Henry Irving reading a poem by Alfred Austin. The note adds that Irving is robust for his age yet cautions against taking unnecessary risks.
A scientist predicts that vital body processes are driven by chemical substances called hor mones and that hor mones will be controlled by a trust and sold in bottles at all drug stores.
A man who wrote to Uncle Sam at the Treasury Department in Washington requesting clarification on which end of a ticket is the head and which is the tail has voiced a strong public demand and urges publication of the answer if one is provided.
A court holds that a young lady struck on the nose by a foul tip while seated in the grandstand cannot recover damages, especially if she wore a picture hat at the time of the incident.
The second Mackin City vote approved the Des Moines and Iowa Falls road tax by four to one, but fewer than 600 of about 2,000 eligible voters cast ballots. The result signals continued debate over regional transportation funding and development.
Louis M Spencer, brother of Henry Spencer the Grinnell bank cashier who died amid a turn of events, files bankruptcy after losses from Beatrice Nebraska land venture and bank drafts. The case links Louis to the concealed funds and the Grinnell bank collapse. The kingpin’s son Clark Spencer drowned earlier, tied to the mystery.
Des Moines, July 18. County Attorney Jesse A. Miller, president of the Iowa County Attorneys Association, warned that Des Moines is trust ridden and urged grand juries to action against alleged illegal combinations. He cited coal dealers as an example, noting coal rose from 1.50 to 3.50 per ton over ten years and claimed groceries show similar price control, challenging legality.
While unloading hay on the Ingersoll farm west of Glidden yesterday afternoon the harpoon fork fell from the rack and pierced James Cuthbertson’s arm above the elbow, then into the side and lungs. Wounds are dangerous. he was treated in Glidden and taken to Mercy hospital at Carroll.
A historical note describes the lieutenant-governor of South Carolina presiding over the senate while wearing a purple robe of office. The description emphasizes ceremonial attire and the dignity of the office during sessions.
Des Moines reports that Barnum & Bailey Greatest Show on Earth will appear in Spencer on July 15 Des Moines on July 17 and Creston on July 18. The tour highlights include The Dip of Death a daring woman leaps an automobile gap and the Brothers Anclotte looping the quadruple chasms. The Dunbar Delhi features recreate Jubilee India and the Imperial Viennese act of ten aerial raps. Free pre show exhibition promises to showcase merit and thrill.
Thomas W. Lawson spoke to about 3,000 people at a Chautauqua in Missouri Valley after arriving by special car. He praised Iowa and western crops, praised warm receptions, and said western farmers sought knowledge about Frenzied Finance while he vowed to press his campaign against the Standard Oil system to the last ditch.
Des Moines reports that Mose Jacobs, a famed local news boy, is awarded a portion of his mother's estate. He had placed his earnings in a family fund and receipts showed a share due after his marriage. The Iowa Supreme Court affirmed lower court rulings that Jacobs is entitled to recover from his father, who held earnings over ten thousand dollars.
Des Moines July 11 Tom Dennison will not be tried again for alleged complicity in the Pollock hold up. The Civic Federation of Omaha and the Jewelers' Protective Association have not paid the costs of 1623 dollars and Montgomery county officials refuse a second trial at county expense.
A heavy iron strip and timber across the rails were placed to wreck the Rock Island flyer from the south. The train struck the obstruction at full speed and stayed on the track as the iron broke. Detectives are investigating with probable arrests forthcoming.
William Mueller, missing cashier of Graettinger Savings Bank, has been located in Indian Territory. No criminal charges against him. Several personal creditors will loge, but depositors will be paid in full.
An austere exchange notes a labor union critique of a political figure. It praises his long hours and commitment to securing an eight hour workday, framing the effort as a pivotal labor victory.
Ottumwa reports hundreds of dollars in gold silver and precious stones unearthed on John Nelson’s land near Munterville. The hermit who lived forty years near the shack was found dead at his hut a few weeks earlier. Locals dig for the rumored treasure, while Nelson’s relatives burned his papers to hide his wealth.
Mrs. Fred Pankow of Spragueville Jackson County was struck dead while hanging laundry during a thunderstorm. A lightning bolt hit a tree wired to the line sending current to her body. Born in 1886 in Jackson County she lived nearby with her husband and infant daughter.
An unknown man was captured at the Oppenheimer home in Jefferson yesterday at 3 30 morning after forcing entry and attempting to ransack the house. He tried to flee once discovered but was unsuccessful. Authorities believe the man is a tramp.
Eleven men drown when a boat capsizes at Little Falls dam near Chippewa Falls Wisconsin. The incident is the major local tragedy in the waterway bridge area and prompts emergency response.
A weary traveler arrives at a small station in a dreary Arkansas town. A bitterly worded exchange with a dejected local reveals the place’s bleak mood and sense of isolation in this feverish district.
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