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This newspaper page contains 43 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Semi Weekly Herald
Location
Eldora, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 09, 1905
Page
6
A jumble of satirical notes from The Herald Eldora Iowa mocks matrimony by mail, a monkey disrupts a party in Ohio, royalty quirks from Battenberg to Greece, Venice tides, Persian lobster aversion, Lipton regrets marriage, and light quips on telephones and subscribers. It blends humor and curiosities with brief mentions of public figures and places.
The fragment mentions the Russian name for the League of Leagues as Obstchestvo Profession alnikh Obstchesty and claims the organization has terrorized the government. It also notes the queen of Greece as the world’s only woman admiral, a distinction said to come from the czar of Russia, and comments that Russian admirals are a miscellaneous lot.
A New York woman formulates twelve rules for selecting a spouse. The first stresses money, while the remaining eleven are deemed unimportant, as reported by the Chicago Journal.
A thoughtful aphorism debates the idea that even brilliant invention cannot outpace crafted laws. It cautions that optimism about regulating progress often overestimates control, highlighting the enduring tension between ingenuity and legal constraints.
Alfred Austin, the English poet laureate, states he never reads newspaper publications about him. Even in his own writings he reveals little taste for humor.
Commentator argues that much ingenuity is squandered on risky flying machines while real progress could focus on reducing railway dangers, particularly making the frog in the railway less deadly for workers and passengers.
A four year old Buffalo burglary reveals $69,000 missing, while Philadelphia endures a much larger, unresolved theft. The contrast highlights ongoing urban crime and unaccounted losses.
The Florida orange crop is reported small yet of high quality, fueling chatter that the orange trust plans to raise prices this year. Analysts note market signals and supplier phrases hint at tighter supply and higher costs for consumers.
Tolinton expresses two regrets about not lifting the cup and never marrying, and hints he may add a third regret once the returns come in. The remark reflects personal reflection tied to upcoming results and future reporting.
Sir Thomas Tipton laments not yet lifting the America's cup but finds solace in the many customers who regularly lift their teacups, a steady satisfaction amid ongoing pursuit.
A vivid note of alarm in Boston likens current danger to Cervera’s fleet assault and asks what must be done as residents fear a bean mine may threaten the city and its famed Codfish lineage.
A Springfield Ohio nine year old boy has written a comic opera to be staged. The note recalls recent productions where younger children than the Springfields prodigy contributed to the shows.
Kansas oil producers urge governors and legislators in Kansas Missouri Illinois Iowa and Ohio to pass state freight rate laws and anti discrimination measures. They claim these laws have cut oil transport costs and stopped price gouging, while seeking national action and a memorial to the president and commerce commissioner detailing alleged Standard Oil tricks against independents.
Marion Indiana December 4 A man’s body was found near the Great Central railroad and Union Traction crossing at Jonesboro identified by Frank Lambert as his cousin William Lambert missing fifteen years. He may have been en route to visit when he was murdered or struck by a train. The Lambert family does not know his home.
Armed deputies remained at the jail in Evansville Indiana Sunday night after threats to lynch Lee Williams the black man accused of assaulting Mrs William Griener a white woman authorities scrambled to protect him through the night and into Sunday night
Numerous sizable buildings are under construction at Empire to house Canal Zone engineers and staff. At Ancon, large hotels are also going up, signaling major expansion of Panama Canal facilities and accommodations for workers.
Anthony O Dowd telegraph operator from 220 East Sixth Street was saved from freezing when a stray dog he befriended pulled Night Clerk Robert Gillespie toward the hospital door. The dog guided rescuers as Gillespie and William Shipp found O Dowd unconscious on the sidewalk, resuscitated him and he was admitted to a ward.
A long readable list details perishable goods with prices and stock statuses including creamery products, cheeses, meats, poultry, berries, greens, root vegetables, and fruits. Notable items include eggs at mark to case, cheeses labeled full cream and Swiss black, various apples and cranberries with price per bri, and vegetables like cabbage, cucumbers, spinach, lettuce, peppers, and mushrooms.
Grain quotations list New York Chicago Milwaukee and other markets with varieties like red white and mixed. Prices range from fractions of a cent to about 86 cents per bushel for red, northern, and mixed tones.
Market roundup lists live stock by city with multiple price figures for cattle hogs and lambs. Chicago Omaha Kansas City St Louis St Joseph New York appear with varying bid and ask values across categories.
Kennedy I Clapp returns home to Columbus after nearly a year away. He had invested heavily in Honduras, inspected Parte Cortez, and was detained due to a yellow fever outbreak. He endured months with no family contact, traveled on muleback through mountains, and finally sailed from Port Cortez on November 28 to reunite with his relatives. He owns about acres of land in Honduras.
The Daily Man's Kiev dispatch describes a mutiny by a thousand sappers against a martinet commander. Rebels stormed barracks, fought Azoff infantry, and fled after heavy fire. two hundred surrendered. A court martial was convened.
In Harrisburg Pennsylvania Roy C McCurdy 18 shot Mrs Mary Chard 42 in the neck as she walked to a store and then fatally shot himself The Pennsylvania Railroad worker was taken to hospital unconscious and died without giving a statement The motive remains unclear and neither she nor his friends can explain the shooting
Milwaukee detectives arrested Giovanni Aliota after a week on the run in a Granville church. He fired at officers during capture, admitted identity, and was accused of killing his brother, sister in law, and a 19 month old nephew.
Thirty leading seed dealers urge President Roosevelt to curb congressional free seed distribution. They call for a return to the act’s original intent to source seeds from distant lands, unknown to Americans, to boost national wealth. They label current practice a grievous restraint of trade and a class legislation against commerce.
Paul Chalfont of Boston wins the fourth competition for the Jacob H Lazarus scholarship for mural painting at the National Academy of Design. Entrants from across the United States competed October 23 to December 2. The Lazarus fund totals $3,000 for three years.
Mrs. L R Moody of South Bend died Sunday night three weeks after her wedding to Dr. Moody. She had been ill in hospital a week with jaundice and was the daughter of Dr. Porter Turner of Elkhart. Their courtship began in childhood.
The Stahl Urban Company factory on Dec 4 was leveled by a Sunday night fire in Terre Haute Indiana. Losses total 125000 with 69000 insured. Building owner Herman Hulman suffered a 75000 loss.
City officials probing the suspended Catholic bank report assets of about 2,856,194 and liabilities of 915,048. Roughly 800,000 in deposits belonging to poorer citizens are tied up, highlighting the impact on the common people.
Kis Demand for Vanilla. The vanilla Planters at Papanila report losses due to many substitutes made in the United States. Demand for genuine vanilla has greatly fallen off, affecting local planters.
Fire destroyed the mansion built near Rye on Long Island Sound by John A Dix, former War Governor of New York. The house, owned by W H Browning of New York, is valued at about 76000 dollars.
Former Governor Van Sant of Minnesota delivered the principal address at the formal dedication Sunday afternoon of the new Sterling Young Men's Christian Association building.
In Louisville on December 4 authorities report an effort to amalgamate the state university and a Black college. The plan aims to unite the two institutions under one administration to strengthen Negro higher education in Kentucky. Details remain unclear as discussions continue among campus leaders and officials.
An advertisement extols Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery as a universal tonic improving nerves, vitality, and overall health. It touts ingredients like Golden Seal root, Black Cherrybark, Bloodroot, and Mandrake, claiming wide benefits for stomach, liver, and bowel ailments and offering paper or clothbound editions for purchase.
A reflective proverb on wealth and desire suggesting true plenty comes from surpassing basic needs, urging restraint and perspective rather than accumulation.
About 400 Christian Science Churches exist in the United States with roughly 100000 adherents. The founder Mrs Eddy says the church gains in popularity, likened here to Pillsbury's Vitos cereal. The quote warns that a person lacking truthfulness rarely speaks of his own feats.
A terse entry notes a 2-07 package labeled Red Cross Ball Blue on Barge 2-07 and Across Bane with OT five cents. The Russ Company, South Bend, Indiana, appears in the line. The average pocket diary is said to be finished romance.
Some grocers report they do not stock Defiance Starch because they hold 12 oz brands unable to be sold to a customer who once bought the 6 oz Defiance Starch for a returnable amount.
A brief note suggests a humorous saying about a husband known for silence tied to his wife’s reputation for control in domestic matters. The remark hints at a household power dynamic rather than a concrete event or person.
Many women who do their own work are annoyed by chipped hands in winter. Ivory Soap helps during dish washing and toilet tasks. Dry hands thoroughly after water exposure and rub with oatmeal water or a good lotion. Eleanor Br Parker.
A New York Weekly fragment shows Mrs De Fashion at a children's party asking which of the children is hers. A nurse girl confirms and the scene hints at planning to leave for home.
A traveler arrives at a sparsely settled Missouri cottage at midnight seeking shelter and asks about lodging. A bare foot youth with varying shoes emerges, exclaiming Tad bought seven pairs and two in a pair. The father notes Tad’s noisy midnight calling and sizes of shoes, sizing up the visitor before offering wary acceptance.
Facts and Proof notes from Mrs. Way Taber of Hulett praising Dodd's Kidney Pills as effective for kidney trouble. She claims rapid relief with initial doses and full improvement after completing three boxes, asserting the remedy’s proven acts over theory.
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