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Newspaper
Semi Weekly Herald
Location
Eldora, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 08, 1905
Page
6
A collage of witty snippets and satirical remarks on topics from lobster byproducts to cocktail origins. The page mocks fame fashion gossip and political talk while peering at liquor costs piracy threats and odd trivia about Paris New Orleans Java and Cuba.
The London fashion arbiters announce trousers will be very tight to show the calf shape. The note reflects concern that such a finish may be observed by the world.
Citizens pray for city government in Philadelphia amid long standing opposition. The note suggests the possible benefits of reform and recalls a past episode involving an English officer named Pakenham during a Jackson era event in New Orleans.
A tongue in cheek quip from Puck jokes about money and insomnia advising to carry pennies to bed with you. The remark uses a Baltimore banking figure as the target of humor and reflects magazine wit.
The court rules that death by own action clauses in reinsurance policies are enforceable, blocking a scheme that would shift payouts to third parties. This decision preserves insurer risk assumptions and curbs opportunistic claims.
A man in Philadelphia overindulged in fifteen plates of ice cream and balanced it with a pork sandwich. He survived the stunt and remains hospitalized, avoiding a cemetery outcome.
In spring, an observant contemporary notes women’s steps drift to millinery shops while men instinctively reach for their wallets. The observation highlights seasonal shopping shifts as fashion and spending patterns respond to warmer weather.
London papers argue there is no real reason why knee breeches should generally be worn. The remark suggests the visible reasons for wearing trousers are not usually obvious.
A quip from Spin ger in the New York Sun notes that the answer to when a girl becomes an old maid varies with the individual. The column plays on the aging expectations and social labels attached to women, reflecting a timeless newspaper voice.
A dispatch quotes the German empress as dining nowhere this year. The note suggests she may compensate with a course lunch and a high tea to make up for the dinner deficiency.
A witty tribute to a versatile wife who can craft a faster hat from telegraph wire and a corduroy coat, turning necessity into ingenuity. Her resourceful spouse praises her as a mother of invention capable of practical innovation.
A great religious revival in Philadelphia shows broad enthusiasm but is seen as insufficient to sway those who transfer names from tombstones to the election lists, signaling limited impact on voting turnout or political alignment.
King Alfonso plans a June arrival in London after leaving Paris, with a focus on his potential marriage. British girls are expected to present themselves in their best form as they seek to attract the royal suitor.
A playful retro note from the Chicago Tribune recalls six thousand years ago in springtime, with Adam visiting the fig tree and Eve heading to the apple tree first. The quip adds that the husband has hustled ever since, framing a humorous take on old myths and modern commerce.
The New York Sun notes Manuel Garcia’s preservation owes to abandoning opera singing over half a century ago and escaping an ambition to sing Wagnerian roles.
United States Senator Joseph Ralph Burton of Kansas will be retried in St. Louis on charges tied to a $500 cash payment from Rialto Grain and Securities, after the Supreme Court ruled Missouri jurisdiction did not cover the Washington payments. A new indictment is expected after the May grand jury sits, with Burton likely to remain in the Senate pending appeals. Kansas politics buzzes with potential successors including Joseph P. Bristow and others as the case drags through courts.
Theodore P. Shonts newly named executive head of the Panama canal commission will stay in Washington briefly to learn pending details before returning to Chicago to tidy Clover Leaf railroad affairs. He is a major Clover Leaf stockholder and may remain its president and canal chairman. He plans a six week Isthmus visit with Mr Wallace and other board members for a long inspection trip.
Charles M. Blair, a leading individual sheep owner, sold his entire wool clip prior to shearing to a Boston firm for 22.4 cents a pound. The estimated total clip is about 800,000 pounds, reported from Billings Montana on April 3.
New York, April 3. Health Commissioner Darlington warned that many deaths of children under five stem from impure or improperly prepared foods. He cited preserved milk with formaldehyde, embalmed meats with borax, boric acid or salicylates, dyed flavors, and spoiled fish and meats as dangers. He noted many cases of child poisoning from bad food and described risks from bananas and candies colored with coal tar dyes.
Bishop Spalding, long paralysed, has rallied and shows better general condition than since his illness. He will travel by private car to Hot Springs with his sisters Mrs Slevin and Mrs Spalding, brother Dr Spalding, and Father Riordan, escorted by President Armstrong of the Toledo Peoria and Western.
Washington reporting on the tenth anniversary of the international reform bureau notes Mrs. Margaret Duc Ells of the National Woman's Christian Temperance Union warned that Mormonism is rapidly spreading. She cited churches in the middle west and one in Harlem N Y and commended Senator Burrows for taking a firm stand against the faith.
In Topeka Kansas on April 3 the Reverend Charles M Sheldon declined to permit the box office proceeds from a Washburn College student play to be used to augment the Sheldon hall fund because the performance occurred in a theater that offers Sunday shows.
Burlington Iowa April 3 John Strieger a carpenter attacked his family after drinking choked his wife nearly to death slashed his daughter's cheek with a knife and tore his son's clothing before police arrested him
Andrew Carnegie has donated 24000 dollars to Baldwin University Berea Ohio for a scientific building. The gift requires that the university raise an equivalent amount from additional sources to proceed.
Butte Mont April 34 President Joseph Smith head of the Mormon church has bought 67000 acres of land in Alberta and plans a Mormon colony. The price paid was about 400000.
Royal Grimm a 12 year old son of a prominent resident caused a derailment of the Cleveland flyer by placing iron bars on the tracks at Pittsburg on April 3. He said he wanted to see a real train wreck.
A man about 70 believed to be Charles H. Simpson of Lincoln, Illinois, leaped into the Mississippi River in St. Louis on April 3, ending his life.
George Bowman robbed Miller's drug store in Newark Ohio stealing 30 dollars on his 14th birthday April 3. He confessed after arrest for the theft.
Reports from Gunshu Pass describe Japanese forces retiring from the Russian front to shift five armies via Mongolia toward Vladivostok and Tsitsihar. Mistchenko remains in touch as Japanese supply and drill efforts continue. Russian cavalry eye the Japanese maneuver with caution. Detachments of Japanese cavalry return after scouting west of Mukden, crossing railroad lines and telegraph routes, while reporting enemy positions and fatigue.
Experiments at Allston shops of the New York Central railroad attached an electrical horse shoe magnet to locomotive driving wheels to measure magnetic resistance. The adhesion increased by 35 percent with the device, and the company plans to fit thirty locomotives initially and fifty more to reduce or eliminate the use of sand.
Kern City California April 3 Mollie Matllack aged fourteen and Irma Cook sixteen were hurled from a Ferris wheel car operated by a carnival company. Matllack was fatally injured and died from the plunge while Cook survived with injuries.
Henry Deitz, a wealthy farmer living near Dixon, was held up and robbed of a large sum on his way home from town. The incident occurred on April 3, with Dixon noted as the nearby reference point and no arrests mentioned in the report.
Olon April 3 The United States cruiser Dixie has sailed for Guantanamo Cuba taking all the marines from Camp Elliott except one company.
Bat Masterson, deputy U S marshal, criticizes New York’s pistol culture and political police graft in an interview at the Delavan hotel. He contrasts Western practices, defends his own reporting, and denounces fake journalists in the city.
Farmers on the extensive lowland farms west of Havana Illinois expect a bumper crop this year after three years of no crops. The Illinois River has risen less during this season, making the ground tilled and productive.
Former Milwaukee County Supervisor Jacob Schultz was denied a new trial by Judge Williams and sentenced to one year in the house of correction after conviction for accepting an $800 bribe tied to an electric lighting contract.
Thomas B. Fitzpatrick of Boston has been chosen by Notre Dame University to receive the Lactare medal, the supreme distinction annually conferred upon a prominent member of the Catholic Party in America, during an April ceremony in South Bend Indiana.
Fort Sill reports President Roosevelt will extend his hunt to a full week starting April 8. The six mile south Lawton area, within the Indian pasture reserve, will host the president as plans shift for the trip.
Mrs. Minnie B. Gossett of Uhrichsville Ohio testifies that Dr Williams Pink Pills improved her health after years of weakness and malaria treatment. She recalls their help for her daughter’s nervous illness and her husband’s rheumatism. She says the pills cure anaemia and dyspepsia, and are indispensable for growing girls.
A woman who alters her views sees no reason to offer excuses or reasons for the change. The remark implies personal autonomy and rejects justification to others. It reflects a stance on accountability and self-direction in belief shifts.
A Princeton Tiger quips about Atlas's burden as the world seems to press down, noting perseverance amid heavy adversity. The playful line frames mythic figures in a modern sportslike banter.
A brief historic exchange from Boston humor notes playful euphemisms for modesty and social norms. The dialogue contrasts phrases for bodily actions to reflect era language.
A prison visitor urges the convict to adopt a good motto to live by, suggesting sentimentality. The convict responds with a desire to pick a motto such as We are here today and gone tomorrow, illustrating a fleeting outlook.
A Kansas City Journal style quip contrasts small and large with a pun about a big doll costing two dollars. Ethel asks why a big boy isn’t a ladder, Mama replies with a joke about a big doll not being a dollar.
An Ohio man newly elected to Congress visited Washington to learn his duties. He was hospitably greeted and entertained by colleagues with dinners breakfasts and suppers. Before returning home he quipped that he had a great time and had not put a knife from his mouth since arriving.
The author known for novels about English society lives simply and finishes a charming yet small home. A visitor with a letter of introduction remarks that his books describe grand halls, while the house is modest. Meredith replies that words are cheaper than stones.
A Jamboree Kentucky resident Mr J M Coleman says Dodd's Kidney Pills relieved years of back pain and his daughter’s backache after half a box. The ad-style testimony touts Dodd's pills as a universal remedy for kidney related ailments including Bright's disease diabetes dropsy rheumatism bladder issues and heart disease.
A solitary figure who tends his small garden and avoids social crowds unexpectedly gains local notice. Residents describe Bas as quietly reliable and points to his simple routines as a draw for neighbors seeking stability and calm interaction.
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