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This newspaper page contains 38 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Sedalia Evening Sentinel
Location
Sedalia, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 07, 1899
Page
5
A promotional note urges readers to place an ad in the Sentinel want column to attract numerous applicants. It promises many suitable responses and easy hiring.
Advertisements under Wanted For Sale For Rent Lost and Found may run three times for twenty five cents per column slot.
For sale two items: a 2 acre Clarke County Kansas farm, contact WE Goff 139 W Jefferson Sedalia for details. One set of blacksmith tools offered by R E Miller Smithton Missouri. Help wanted general housework by Girt Wanton, inquire 716 West Seventh.
Two gentle ponies offered at a northeast corner property at Tenth and Missouri Avenue under a prompt sale. The ad emphasizes fair price for quick transaction and easy driving ponies. Do not rely on other details due to fragmented OCR text.
About 1 30 in the afternoon officers Jackson and Bailey rushed to Sixth and Washington after reports of a disturbance. They found no ongoing offense as the home of A B Cramer 602 South Washington had quieted and his son said a quarrel with his father sparked the scene. Remaining lines promote Rocky Mountain Tea for babies at 35 cents.
A terse classified notice states readiness to perform all kinds of job work at lowest prices, with an unclear address “Corn er Fourth and Lwemine.”
Lung irritation is described as a forerunner to consumption. The ad claims Dr Bell’s Pine Tar Honey will cure it and strengthen the lungs against coughs and colds. Priced at twenty five cents at all druggists.
The Eagle Eye Salve is advertised as aiding weak or sore eyes and granulated lids. Sold by all dealers at 25 cents.
Advertisement seeks an active trusted person to work locally for Shepp Company at 1031-1033 Chestnut St Philadelphia Pennsylvania. No capital required with good chances for advancement.
Four coaches of colored miners departed south on the Katy last night heading to Nelson Kansas to replace striking miners amid labor unrest.
Tetter eczema and various skin diseases yield quickly to Banner Salve made from a skin specialist of world wide fame. Price listed as 25 cents.
Servant Harker Drug Co advertises Eclipse Mosquito Chaser as a remedy for a peaceful untroubled sleep, implying effective relief from insect nuisance.
A brief item notes Missouri Melons being served at the Candy Palace with a contact phone number 218. The fragment suggests a local vendor or promotion but details are limited.
A man asks Miss Willowby about public affairs and reform movements while courting. She confesses ignorance on politics science and culture, prompting Mr. Primley to propose, asking if she will be his wife.
A tale from Australia recounts two impecunious Scotsmen traveling north seeking seed who, short of funds with sixpence between them, share a nip of whisky. An old acquaintance joins and prompts a group drink, leading to tense suspense before a grim verdict that the risk was indeed dreadful.
Benny, a four year old from a family, trained in deep-water baptism, tried to dunk the household cat. The cat resisted and scratched. Benny, crying, exclaimed to the animal to "Go an' be a Methodis' if you want to."
An appointed defense attorney tells a prisoner charged with a brutal murder that he has little hope of acquittal. The lawyer explains the man is too bad for a common villain but not quite bad enough for a degenerate.
A visitor asks the specialty of a man at the dime museum. The man behind the railing explains he is famous for his weekly act of paying off the other freaks, hinting at a larger show. The scene centers on the performer’s brag or ritual in the museum setting.
A Bulging exchange from Ally Sloper features sharp jabs at powerful bosses. A slender man comments on weight based charges and their odd habit of stopping to pick him up, delivering a comic social quarrel.
The Homiletic Review recounts an afternoon session where a presiding officer announced Elder H- would present on The devil, urging prompt attendance for Brother H- who had a carefully prepared paper. An uproar of laughter followed the unintended witticism.
A humorous exchange in dialect describes a man deducing a dog has bitten him by the bite mark on his lip, claiming the bite shows the dog did not greatly offend him. The Courier provides the wry exchange between speakers about motive and effect.
A clerical visitor urges Sunday school children to aim high but a front bench boy retorts with a quip about the Spaniards. The exchange, recorded by the Cleveland Plain Dealer, captures a moment of humor in the lesson.
Spectators laugh at a downtown window display where a clerk dressed trendy hung a sign offering “You can have your choice for 25 cents.” A policeman mocks the scene preferring socks to the other exhibit as the tin whistle players are forced to swallow their instruments.
The excerpt shows a courtroom dialogue with a judge accusing lese majeste and referencing Adam and Eve as the emperor's first parents. The accused defends loyalty while questions of guilt and punishment arise, ending with a monetary fine of five hundred thalers.
A German band ordered to play before the emperor impressed so much that he had his servants fill all their instruments with gold. The remark ends with a quip about luck from the speaker’s perspective.
Mr Naggus praises a novel while Borus explains the title is an anagram of Borus wrote this book. The author laments sleepless hours and defends the pairing with a punning, self referential brand to deter future claimants of authorship.
A philosophic visitor notes a zoo community free of human jealousy while a cynical guest counters that creatures like the giraffe rhinoceros and big snake mock one another. The exchange explores imagined social hierarchies among animals.
In a domestic quip, Mrs. Chugwater and Mr. Chugwater debate the phrase cis Atlantic beauties. The couple corrects themselves, attributing the term to the firmaids as the intended meaning.
A humorous exchange pits an ice pick against a handsaw in a mock confrontation. The ice pick declares dominance over ice while the handsaw counters with prowess in hardwood, delivering a witty wooden voice duel.
A horse prances as a mule in a nearby barnyard laments the sun setting and jokes about a muleless age, framing a quiet pastoral dialogue with wry humor.
A newborn arrived at the Gwilliams home and will be two days old at 4 50 tomorrow morning. The infant weighs five pounds. The mother and child are reported in good condition.
A witty observation from the Cleveland Leader notes the joke that the operation, not the appendicitis, is the killer. The remark highlights public preoccupation with surgical risk and medical humor in period journalism.
A fragmentary exchange humorously contrasts a riot at the town hall with a congressman explaining his conduct. The dialogue weaves in a milk purity joke between a housewife and a milkman, set against a backdrop of preposterous public chatter.
In a lively exchange, A Spouter demonstrates sharp debate skills by labeling an opponent a liar and a scoundrel in fifteen distinct ways, all while adhering to procedural norms. The banter highlights quick wit and rhetorical flair in a formal setting.
The Washington Star quotes Miss Cayenne on the era's greatest invention, answering with a sharp remark that women’s methods of concealing it define the question. Her comment frames a witty critique of contemporary expectations and gender norms in a concise exchange.
Allen's Foot-Ease powder promises relief for painful smarting feet corns bunions and sweating. It claims to make tight shoes feel easy and offers trial packages free and mail order for 25 cents from Allen S. Olmsted Le Roy New York.
Dr T T Major moves his dental office to 410 Ohio Street above Morey and Crawford's in central Missouri. The office is described as among the finest and best arranged, ready to perform all first class dental work. He holds sole rights to the Morris Process rubber plate and Alvatander painless extraction.
Walch offers ice cream and candies along with picnic luncheon options. The listing highlights treats and prepared meals available for outings. Local shop promotes desserts and grab and go fare for gatherings.
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