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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Rocky Ford Enterprise
Location
Rocky Ford, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Mar 13, 1908
Page
5
A reader laments having no rat activity since the phonograph arrived and jokes that rats are music judges. The remark frames the household soundscape and pest presence in a humorous tone.
In a tense exchange Ascum questions Verner about proposing to a Boston girl. Verner confirms the proposal and recounts saying his heart beat wildly for her, while Ascum doubts the claim. The moment turns on her reaction as she tests Verner’s sincerity.
A leading Boston physician recounts a tale of a patient who balked at a high bill after a typhoid cure. The doctor notes the value of plain eating and early nights, and the patient quips that charging the fee proved the point. The piece also relays a Philadelphia literary club moment with Owen Wister and a Washington story from St Paul’s school days.
A Frost quote about postponement prompts a remark on avoiding tasks. Another line cites funerals as an instance of things one might delay, highlighting a morbid example in a brief literary exchange.
In a New Jersey town after polls opened two Irishmen discussed aldermen candidates Mc Glory and Adolph Mink. They agreed the race would be close and noted both men were unpopular and well known, making voters unsure who to support.
An amusing Tetbury epitaph notes that the Perkins family lies beneath a churchyard slab with a final day disclosure promise. Separately, Consul James E. Dunning reports for early 1907 that Italy sent 45 S souls abroad with 195 198 to other European and Mediterranean regions and 257 130 to overseas destinations.
Col. John F. Bishop recalls a goofy exchange in Tennessee where a villager slurred conversion, joking the Almighty had nothing to do with it. The anecdote, cited from the New York Evening Telegram, contrasts sincere praise with skeptical humor.
A brother’s three summers of eczema were cured by Cuticura Ointment after a faithful trial. A Indiana mother shares how her daughter’s Cuticura treatment cured a toddler’s severe eczema. Mrs Sarah E Lusk Coldwater Michigan August and September 1907.
In a lighthearted dialogue a reporter and observers discuss the debut of cars in Borneo. Willie predicts more wild men while T. M. predicts outcomes. Sam Jackson mourns his wife with a consoling young woman offering support, but Jackson delays marriage talk until after the funeral.
A Washington man long involved in business travels to New York and Connecticut where he once resided. He met a venerable native the man had sought to question about his birthplace. The elder revealed he was born two miles away from the current location.
A Pennsylvania patient credits Grane-Nuts for ending years of indigestion and biliousness after a family doctor recommended the food. Within one month symptoms eased, two months brought renewed vigor and mental clarity, and the patient remains healthier. The advertisement promotes Postum Co. branding and The Road to Wellville.
Dr. George L. Meylan of Columbia University reports tests on 687 male freshmen over two years find that smokers are healthier and stronger physically than nonsmokers. The study assessed height weight lung capacity and total strength to compare tobacco and alcohol effects with prior Yale findings.
A Hartford area widower, last descendant of a late 18th century lawyer, hosts a farmhouse full of antique furniture. A book agent notices Chippendale chairs, a Hepplewhite sideboard, a block front desk, and colonial mirrors amid dusty rooms. A traveling collector later sold a Crown Derby cup and saucer for $30 after buying it for 15 cents.
Police Judge Hinkle dismissed cruelty charges against George Hepton after a dog fight ended with the bulldog dead. The judge ruled the shepherd dog acted in self defense when the bulldog attacked, and Hepton merely exercised his right to protect the animal. Experts testified on dog combat, but the court found no liability for Hepton in the lengthy trial.
William Brooks Mason, who claims to be 136, applied for a New York marriage license. Clerks doubted his age as he looked about 60 and claimed Havana, Cuba birth with a hundred year marriage history. Bride Ella Haynes, 28, awaited license, and Alderman Smith married them in his office.
A Salem Virginia man recalls kidney trouble after a back injury and months of pain. After trying many remedies, Dean's Kidney Pills reduced his symptoms and he says he is now well at 81. Sold by all dealers, 50 cents a box. Foster Millburn Co. Buffalo NY. Another tale notes a Brown Perkins feud over a dead cat ending with a peace-making note.
A fragmented text parodies early 20th century ads and snippets. It references cat-tails and improvised danger, touts patent medicines for catarrh, relief tonics like Castoria and Garfield Tea, and promotes Piles cure with PAZO OINTMENT. It also includes moralizing quotes and nostalgic ad lines about advertising and motherhood.
President J G Schurman of Cornell argues freshmen and sophomores aged 16 or 17 are too young to select courses. He likens immaturity to a tale from the Rural New Yorker about costly epitaphs and flawed economic thinking. The notice then shifts to agricultural seed promotions from Salzer Seed Co and K and W offering new farm seeds and samples.
Connecticut tale recalls two Irish travelers in the state noting barns topped with rooster weather vanes. Dennis explains the eggs joke while another quip about a wife’s sight under any dark conditions follows, ending with a geography gag about a strait and card game.
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