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This newspaper page contains 15 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Patoka Register
Location
Patoka, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Apr 27, 1945
Page
7
A Kansas farmer explains to a salesman that he places low stacks of hay along a shed roof so cows feel they are stealing it and will eat every bit, since the hay is not good enough for the manger.
The dialogue features a boy named Harry and others discussing a dog filling a boy’s life. Jerry woefully notes a hot dog joke. Mae remarks on manners. Kay disputes ownership. Racey Food Butcher responds to an elderly customer asking to try track meat heard about on the radio.
A witty exchange jokes about a man who whistles, not sings, dirty songs and about scarce items beyond rationing, with lines from Harry Jerry Joan and Jane jokingly noting men as the scarcest nonrationed resource.
A wordplay joke explains how a rooster, a soldier, and an old maid differ. The rooster crows cock a doodle do while the soldier parodies Yankee doodle do. The old maid offers any dude will do in a punchline.
A humorous dialogue sketches daily life scenes with a sister’s joke about crying curing her, a hostess and guest banter about missing spouses, a polite but cheeky boy refusing bread delivery, and a veteran’s shell bite anecdote, all framed as light regional humor.
A terse telephone exchange ends with a caller asking if the other party is present as the other responds in brief fashion, reflecting a moment of signaling amid a casual miscommunication.
Johnny quips that his father was trimmed in the barber debate. Ned asks about his mood and gets Ted’s play on words about being “like six and a half days” weak. Nit notes money talks loudly, Wit counters that it drowns out other voices.
Grantland Rice argues the postwar athletic surge will lack the Ruth Dempsey Jones and Grange era stars. He says many top athletes will be past their prime after Pearl Harbor era service, but a broader rise in overall skill and participation will lift American sport. He notes large military sport programs and a shift from spectator to playing nation as key. He also addresses pro football's handling of returning servicemen and college eligibility rules after the war.
The article cautions Victory Garden caretakers to focus on weed eradication soon after rain, using shallow cultivation and mulching to conserve moisture. It highlights composting as soil improvement, not fertilizer, and notes chemistry advances like ammonium sulfamate for weed destruction and barberry control.
Navy stories recount a father’s last moment with his dying son and a brother’s daring rescue of Norman Worstell. Captain Anderson bears his wounded son to safety as Mrs. Anderson rededicates to hospital service. John Worstell saves his brother after a mine sweeper rescue and torpedo attack off Luzon.
Wilmington mariner Coxswain Paul L. Taylor described how a trapped crewman aboard the Steel Traveler was abandoned as the ship sank last December. The man, pinned under a heavy hatch, reportedly urged others to save themselves but later escaped when the hatch cover floated off as water rose. The navy confirmed the ship’s loss with about 70 crew rescued and few casualties.
United States 1st Army officers probe possible misuse of Red Cross parcels by German troops in Birkesdorf Germany Lt Col Mark Plaisted Springfield Ill finds three empty cartons each once holding 48 pounds of Red Cross food indicating fresh use by Germans and not for French POWs.
The item lists eight trivia prompts including U.S. mail limits for first class, the most spoken language, which wood is lighter cork or balsa, current U.S. population including armed forces, correct phrase anchors away or anchors aweigh, whether a fixed North Pole exists, route of the clothesline transport crews, and the historical shape of handkerchiefs before Louis XVI.
A scattered set of statements includes mail weight limits for first class, languages with English as a second language, a fact about balsa wood density, a population or numeric increase, a description of anchors and orientation, a claim about Earth's axis movement, travel note about Miami to Brazil or British Guinea with cheap overnight laundry, and a term oblong.
The longest automobile race in history ran from New York to Paris in 1908. The route crossed the United States Canada Alaska Siberia Russia Poland Germany and France. Of six starters only two finished with the winner driven by two Americans covering 13,400 miles in 112 days.
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