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Newspaper
Paris Post
Location
Paris, Idaho, United States of America
Date
Aug 02, 1912
Page
2
A collage of stray quotes and jibes from various locales and eras. The jumble mocks politics marriage science sport and society with puns and odd anecdotes from Baltimore Kansas City New York and Persia among others.
A belated Belgian stamp is withdrawn for a squinting king portrait. A traveler notes Egyptian laborers live on 8 cents daily, few eating porterhouse often. Wright the pole vaulter surpassed thirteen feet, not linked to the Wright brothers. Card cataloging all public school children shows how easily statistics can track people. Japan is said to lack grand words, possibly hindering a first-rate baseball team and its language for taunting umpires.
A wild vehicle crash in York resulted in a wagon overturn and the seizure of half a ton of dynamite. Six subsequent court proceedings followed, with the case focused on secured explosives and related charges.
A group of nine Oregon girls visiting New York found little beautiful to report but note the bay view is pretty fair. The tale reflects their cautious impressions of the city and surroundings.
The Mexican government advances plans to drain and fill Lake Texcoco east of Mexico City to reclaim thousands of acres for sale to Mexicans. Five years and 4 million pesos needed. bills stalled by legal technicalities. Fishing concession cancellations also announced with 150000 dollars indemnity.
In New York an emergency court scene unfolds as Magistrate Fitch urges a peaceful settlement between Louis Citryn and Louis Rosenberg of Long Island City. The men return bruised and confess one used a brags candle stick and the other an iron coffee mill in their fight. Each is held on $500 bond for examination.
The Philadelphia coroner will form a special jury of six prominent clergymen from all denominations to hear automobile fatality cases. The aim is to educate clergy about street danger and later urge pulpit cautions to drivers and pedestrians.
In Pana Illinois Miss Alice Hedges who had not spoken above a whisper for fifteen years suddenly regained her voice in a surprising turn of events. Neighbors and family report the sound of speech returning clearly after decades of muttered tones.
Miss Cox of Birmingham urged that mixed schools and combined departments under a headmaster hinder girls training and pressed for justice for women teachers. Miss Cooper argued boys and girls develop differently, and separation yields better discipline, while Mr Harwood praised mixed settings for mutual learning between sexes. Captain Tom, a Baltimore railroad official, is noted for his long career and recent return to shipbuilding after health-related retirement.
Capt Thomas 80 and his wife celebrate sixty years of marriage at Sparrow's Point Maryland where he oversees the construction of two steel steamers for the Baltimore Chesapea Atlantic Railway company. Mrs Johnson is in her eightieth year and the couple was married in Wilmington they will mark the anniversary locally.
In Cambridge Massachusetts a New York society leader Mrs A Palmer claims women regularly check their husbands pockets to manage money. She asserts men carry little money, women save and often deposit funds in banks.
A Bethlehem Parish widow advertised her infant for sale claiming poverty. Severaloffers were made, but the buyer returned the child after hours as friends intervened. The baby and mother were placed in a food home for care.
A bride orders ten pounds of paralyzed sugar and other items in a comic shopping scene. The grocer notes pulverized sugar, condensed milk, and desiccated coconut, while she declines horseradish and jokes about not keeping a horse.
In a Wichita high school debate on the woman suffrage amendment a male speaker argued against giving women the ballot claiming they lack reliable judgment. A young woman challenged him with a pointed question about changing a woman's mind once settled, and she won the debate.
A camp mishap unfolds when a corporal drafting ration orders cannot settle the spelling for rhubarb and orders, only to be interrupted by the tent orderly who insists on cabbage. The exchange captures a humorous offhand moment amid kitchen duties.
In a Pittsburgh area town a husband urges his wife to enter a town contest for the prettiest dawn while she laments not having a lawn or proper summer attire. The tale ends with a moral about keeping dress on the mind.
A city hunter in a cor duroy suit and a country boy guide encounter a rabbit that suddenly drops as if dead. The hunter cries there is no mark on it and the boy quips that the animal must have laughed itself to death.
A Wichita society matron and church leader ordered a glass of a new summer drink after seeing an ad. The first taste proved sharp and hot, and she asked if it was safe. The clerk replied the drink was safe, claiming all the policemen in town came there to drink it.
Mrs Wilkins scoffs at an evening paper reading that 10 247 100 working days were lost to labor disputes last year. She retorts that there are only 365 days in a year, implying the claim overstates the disruption.
The quip notes the French 24 o clock system as relief for families. It jokes that yelling twenty three will be more suggestive to young women's suitors than commenting on eleven. The exchange reflects humorous attitudes toward time notation.
A quarrel turns to a comic confession as the stout blond man is identified by the Dowager as her husband. The scene centers on social snobbery and sharp reproach in a drawing room exchange.
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