An Epigram on Making a Good Wife and Husband
Satirical verse notes that not every woman who can be a good wife will also be a good husband, offering a witty reflection on marriage roles and compatibility.
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This newspaper page contains 43 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Paris Post
Location
Paris, Idaho, United States of America
Date
Jul 26, 1912
Page
1
Baltimore Suffragettes Debate Meeting Attractants
A Baltimore suffragette discussion weighs options to draw young women to meetings. One speaker asks whether refreshments or male attendance would be more effective, highlighting strategic concerns in the movement.
Punishment Fit for the Wicked Soul on Fire
Fragmentary item cites Dante and Satan with a burning spectacle as a bizarre scene unfolds. The Milwaukee Sentinel fragment mentions a first man in a dramatic exchange about guilt and punishment amid molten lava imagery.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dante
Satan
Milwaukee Sentinel
Girl Alleges Father Wet Her Feelings After Spill
A little girl playing with a cup of water had it taken by her father who spilled some water on her. She declared, There, you wet me clear to my feelings, in Everybody's Magazine.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Everybody's Magazine
Melissa
Mrs. Merriwid
Jane
Henry
Stoxan
Detroit Free Press
Meeting Emergencies
Senator Dixon denounces a political deception as flagrant citing the railway case. Two men at a station discuss a half ticket while one player claims a mole hides a beard, revealing a sly exchange during tense moments.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dixon
George
Breakfast Indigestion Solved by Postum and Grape-Nuts
A teacher reports chronic indigestion from a plain breakfast. She says hot Postum with Grape-Nuts and cream improved her digestion, aided weight gain, and saved nervous energy. The letter promotes the Postum Co. product and the Book The Road to Wellville.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Postum Co
Battle Creek
Mich
Wellville
Pkga
Melissa Merriwid Declines Prince and Good Fellow
Mrs Merriwid fends off two suitors including a prince and a rich broker, weighing luxury against steady breakfast foods and a safe future. She confesses she has deceived both with a humane, humorous self awareness and teases Aunt Jane about the social maze.
Child attempts water walking ends in bath tub mishap
In a courtroom aside the judge notes a mother’s account of her daughter splashing in a partially filled tub. The child explains she was trying to walk on the water, a foolish feat she found difficult.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lulu
Turpon
Thamma
Eczema Cured by Cuticura Soap and Ointment
LL. R. Fink of Lebanon Ohio describes decades of itching on leg and scalp. After trying Cuticura Soap and Ointment, relief came within minutes and complete cure followed after two days, with dandruff also resolved. Sample offers and product address listed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lebanon
LL. R. Fink
Cuticura
Dept. L
Boston
Best man at town wedding and the married life
A humorous old saying notes a girl should not marry the best man but should make the best of the husband she has. It reflects practical, lighthearted views on marriage and social roles.
Airplanes Used to Carry Ammunition During Strikes
Reports indicate aircraft are deployed to transport ammunition, with concerns that even unloaded planes may be vulnerable or misused. Authorities consider aviation assets potentially risky in conflict settings and examine safety protocols.
Californian Seeks Congressional Record for Sleep Cure
A California resident writes to his Congressman requesting a copy of the Congressional Record, hoping it will help him combat insomnia. The letter signals a quirky but earnest search for relief through official proceedings.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Congressional
Court Rules Home Poker Not Unlawful
A court holds that playing poker in one’s own house is not illegal though advisable only when the wife is away. In Berlin a man shot three burglars without informing the moviemen, a Paris error that would cost him his job.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Berlin
Paris
Prince Henry Relates Fleet Chaplain Gaffe in New York
A dinner tale from Detroit Free Press recounts Prince Henry of Reuss in New York laughing at an incident with German fleet officers. A chaplain quoted a Bible verse causing snickers before loudly misquoting the line and provoking a pastor’s correction. The piece also includes a humorous exchange about cigars and a daughter named Jane.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Prince Henry of
Reuss
New York
Hardihood
The Paxton Toilet Co Seeks Readers With Free Trial Box
An old advertisement offers Paxtine Antiseptic as a toilet prep. The vendor promises a large trial box free upon request to any woman. The text also includes quips about husbands and writers, and references Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for teething.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Paxton_ Toilet_Co
Boston
Mass
Pugilists Then and Now Mentioned by John L Sullivan
John L Sullivan notes that modern pugilists differ from his era while remarking on scarcity of typewriters in his day. An uplift person quips that man is the only animal that smokes and holds political campaigns, prompting a wry benison.
Weather forecast and cautionary notes from local column
The weather forecast calls for generally fair conditions with hedging. A Cleveland man facing a crook loses a $33,000 legacy after choosing the wrong path. Wealthy kin etiquette urged for those with rich relatives.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cleveland
French Duelist and Taxicab Bandit Roil French City
A French duelist appears harmless while a taxicab bandit terrifies residents. Police hunt the culprit whose daring raids raise fear in the streets as authorities seek leads and safety in the troubled area.
Physique Expert Says Crawling Benefits Health
A physical culture expert argues that crawling on all fours aids health, but cautions the idea extends to a broad Darwinian theory. The item frames a light note on fitness trends and speculation.
New York Woman Annexes Three Husbands in Oil Business
A New York woman has twice married into oil wealth and later forged ties with a third husband in the oil industry. The article notes her pattern of marriages spanning years and industries before the narrative ends with a cliffhanger.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Chicago Hotel Abolishes Register Guests Sign Cards
A Chicago hotel ends the traditional guest register and has visitors sign cards kept out of sight, signaling the disappearance of a long cherished institution.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Western girl wins $28,828 breach of promise judgment
A western girl was awarded a judgment totaling $28,828 for breach of promise. The award is reported as compensation likely covering goods and services not provided, including ice cream and soda water, according to the court decision.
Brunette Seeks Divorce Over Husbands Blunt Sleep Talk
A New York woman seeks a divorce accusing her husband of raving in his sleep about Blondie. She claims the remarks reveal his affections and affect their marriage, though she does not care to know the color of his preference.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New—York
Blondie
French plane features foldable wings for storage use
A French aeroplane introduces wings that fold for compact storage. Yet pilots express satisfaction when wings stay in place during flight, prioritizing reliability over novelty.
Illinois Laundryman Poet Hums Verse and Vexes Neighbors
A quirky item notes a local laundryman who writes poetry and mangles verse, likening his craft to misweaving shirts. The piece wryly praises industry yet mocks a neighbor’s early lawn mowing at six in the morning.
Italian King Considers Real Estate Move After Island Annexations
A tongue in cheek notice suggests the Italian king, after seizing several Turkish islands, may shift ambition to real estate. The quip hints at expansionist ventures and property speculation in distant territories.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Italy
French detectives track Mona Lisa but Lise faces campaigns
French detectives chase the Mona Lisa mystery while Lise battles for traction in the country amid baseball duties and a presidential campaign. The report notes competing interests and public attention as authorities pursue leads.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lise
Odd Bits From The Court And Curious Alphabet Tales
A New York judge is described as worth $200 a year in spousal companionship and the joke implies he may be unmarried or not henpecked. The text then claims the alphabet is 9,000 years old, noting that many have not yet learned it.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Centenarian Gypsy Queen Dies in England
A 101 year old gypsy queen who smoked heavily passed away in England. The obituary notes her long life and asserts the irony of a vigorous elder woman engaging in a cigarette habit.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
England
Railroad Pays for Death of Alfredale Terrier
A railroad is ordered to pay 200 for the death of an Alfredale terrier. The case notes the dog used its discretion to escape a dangerous situation. A religious convention reports one hundred thousand caddies are kept from Sunday school by golf, but offers no guarantee they would attend without golf.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
XK Railroad
Dale
Prunes Sell in New York for Nickel Each
A report notes prunes are sold for a nickel in New York and reveals that some people eat them deliberately and without coercion.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Arkansas Declared Swiftest Battleship In The World
The piece asserts the new battleship Arkansas is the swiftest in the world, noting it provides a sense of pride but hints the claim may change if another nation builds a faster ship.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Arkansas
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Promises Relief
Advertised testimonials claim Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound cured inflammation and symptoms after childbirth and illness. Letters praise relief from severe cramps and uterine troubles, urging women to try the remedy before surgery. Mrs CHRISTMA Reed of Peoria and Mrs Lynch of Jessup share experiences.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pinkham
Lytia
Christma Reed
Mound 81
Peoria, Bd
Lydia
Beauty doctor jokes about slaps and gowns of 1835
A humorous line notes a beauty doctor claiming a slap helps complexion and a wallop brightens the eye. It jokes that women wear gowns like 1835 styles this year, yet would rather have smallpox than last year’s gown.
Sheriff Dies From Excitement Over Baseball Game Stop
A Connecticut sheriff died from the excitement of stopping a baseball game. The incident sparked a comparison to stern baseball umpires, while noting the quirky image of pink ribbons on a snow shovel in a living room.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Connecticut
Soap worth in the human body and odd appearances
A scientist claims the average human body holds enough material for seven bars of soap while noting some men’s looks would mislead that estimate. The remark contrasts general science with subjective impressions of appearance.
Local Writers Showoff Beats Amateur Seed Expert
The article highlights two writers with contrasting reputations. The seed writer is praised as an honored member of the Ananias club, while the summer resort author is presented as the superior talent. The piece celebrates literary skill and acknowledges growing recognition.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Fogues
Ananias Club
Framed Metaphor on Personal Labor and Global Furnace
The excerpt uses the image of a world furnace burning billions of tons of coal to compare collective industry with an individual's own productive effort. It suggests personal labor may feel as impactful as vast industrial output during winter.
NighttimeHack Drivers Seek Police Protection
New York hack drivers demand police protection during the small hours to prevent customers from forcing excessive fares. Probable that this is the only way to keep fares fair and ensure safe operation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New ‘York
Fragments From An Old Notice Board
A damaged OCR reads as a partial local item mentioning a rule about tipping and a Walter figure. It references a Walter who favors beans and a person named EhIGkS of DIMBeLe in unclear context.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
onerof+Ghitage
Clul
Walter
Ehigks
Dimbele
Unclear fragment from academic text hints at pocket items
Fragmentary note cites a professor and lines about Berges and pockets. It references girls delaying actions until older and loading junk into a handsbaz. The text is incomplete and difficult to interpret.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Berges
Shep
Pittsburg Police Chief Declines Interference in Park Incident
Pittsburg Police Superintendent Thomas McQuade says he will not interfere with an alleged innocent spooning incident in SabHe Park as Bewes and others respond to the situation with concern.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pittsburg
sabHe
Thomas McQuade
Bewes
Nme
New England Trust and Book Access Debate Sparks Narrow Holdouts
A fragment suggests a debate about trust in New England linked to cornering all the books and eyes, with some sources vowing to sell certain devices and seeking gratitude from thousands of married men.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New -’England
Skavetring
Barrie
Also Mentioned on This Page
Tod
Dean
California
Doan
Tutt
Texas
United—Realty Corporation
Waco
Wilson Specialty
Dept. Il
Dlemestead
Iai
Gabe
Steve
Dearife
Spm
Aunt Jane
Pearla
Merri
Kennett Tarris
Percy
Virginia
Eczema
Norway
Stranger
Co. C. Colton
Job
John L. Sullivan
John
Peoria, Il
Daisy Fly Killer
Will
I -Sen
Harold Somers
DeKalb Ave
Bresklya
Henderson
Manufacterng
Fulton,St.New Yorks
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