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Newspaper
Newton Record
Location
Newton, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Feb 24, 1898
Page
3
Local and personal notices are paid advertising with no free or unpaid placements. This policy applies to all listings, ensuring every line of advertising is compensated and represented in the Record.
Mrs. Mary Peck attended the late L A Woodruff funeral and returned home. Travelers include Mr and Mrs L F Krickbaum visiting from Nebraska, and Rev Cowan reports over fifty conversions in Monroe. Local business and social items cover relocations, visits, and upcoming housing plans, with Shiloh’s Cure advertised and Burns featuring a floor.
A farmer sells 1860 bushels to 1800 dealers, each one bushel, but few pay promptly. Cash flow collapses as scattered small debts accumulate. He wakes to find the grain safe, realizing only timely payments prevent ruin, then editor’s fee ends with a lesson on prompt payments. Specks Before the Eyes explains liver and elimination link to eye floaters, urging diet regulation to remove foreign substances.
In a policy court scene Sir Frank Lockwood criticizes speedy magistrates. A pompous superintendent defends quick justice. Lockwood once freed a prisoner with an alibi and later boasted of choosing the best of three offered alibis to a judge.
A New England society dinner ends with Mark Twain retort to Mr Evarts after Evarts jokes about a professional humorist being funny. Twain quips that a lawyer should not have his hands in his pockets as the room laughs at the exchange.
A eccentric anatomist Dr Donaldson fills his home with articulated skeletons and bone curiosities. He boasts a paper knife he forged from the funny bone of his first wife, explaining it as a tool for cutting comic papers.
A buyer bargains over a parrot priced at twenty dollars claiming it cannot talk. The seller counters that the bird may not speak but understands everything spoken. The exchange highlights a humorous misunderstanding over the animal’s abilities.
Newton chorus holds Thursday 8:30 pm practice in the Congregational church lecture room. Members urged to attend. monthly fee 2.75 cents. Also notes on lumber and farm publications including The Homestead and its Special Farmers Institute editions.
Centerville coal advertised by C H Jasper & Co promising prompt delivery. Contact via telephone 46 0117 for orders and information.
An antiquated ad claims rapid cold cure with Weeks laxative quinine tablets. It presents a no cure no pay offer and credits Wagiey and Smead with distribution. The promotion centers on a patent remedy style claim and a bold incentive to purchase for quick relief.
Wagley and Smead promote tablets with the promise No Cure No Pay for 25 cents. Also advertised fresh home-rendered lard at Keinor Bros meat market.
A bundled sale notice lists a good team, wagon and harness offered at low price. Contact A. Lock at Newton, Iowa for details and inspection.
The item touts better printing costs and quality, noting that good printing costs a bit more than poor printing and that the Record consistently produces first class work.
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