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Newspaper
New Ulm Review
Location
New Ulm, Minnesota, United States of America
Date
May 27, 1903
Page
3
In autumn harvest season many farmers and families suffer from biliousness dyspepsia and rheumatic pains due to exposure and overwork. The ad promotes Paine’s Celery Compound as a restorative tonic to strengthen the stomach nerves and blood, claiming it restores vigor and guards against winter illness.
A Washington Star report describes women who borrow and return fine garments to shops, posing as stylish customers. Clerks recognize the deception, yet fear losing patrons, as reform efforts struggle to stop the practice among society women who mingle with elegance and keep borrowing cloaks and dresses.
A column mocks immigration bans on birds and mammals with references to the flying fox and starling, noting Jamaica’s failed mongoose introduction. It wanders through snippets about animals and alcohol effects on livestock, a somber coffeehouse exchange, and quirky axioms on trouble borrowing and anatomy, reflecting eclectic period humor.
The scene follows Silver and a team of horses driven by a harness trainer as they prepare and surge forward. The four horses strain against the harness, the driver shifts poles, and a rapid start follows a quiet whistle and a sharp whip as the team powers a five ton truck along the street in a swift, intense display.
An Arab attempts to barter for a horse in a tense scene with English riders. Three thousand piastres, then ten thousand, and finally the Arab departs on the horse after bidding farewell to the Englishmen, who part with the animal amid a cloud of dust and hushed silence.
A compact collection of sayings on contentment, advice, and virtue drawn from various authors. Witty lines touch on advice, memory, civility, and self-correction, followed by a short moral tale about a doctor’s habit and a child’s question about signs on boxes.
In a reflective note Atlantic writer Gerdline Teknorly argues that misery thrives with company but true relief comes from personal solitude. She asserts that laughter should accompany genuine sentiment, preferring quiet tears to shared melancholy.
The Boston Herald notes a primary class exercise at Siuly school Weis Beteihig centers on a pupila card with a boy Bali fig. The teacher uses a fishing scene to teach patience asking what feed most when going fishing. A chorus of voices responds with the word wBattr.
A fragmented, lyrical scene shows a news and apple woman who is absentminded yet sympathetic. A ragged urchin falsely claims her child was hit by a track, prompting a frantic chase that reveals the woman’s realization she has never been married or had a child.
An incompletely transcribed humor piece features a group in a village inn debating a puzzle about the world’s funniest creature. The dialogue shifts to classroom taunts about Bible verses and a joke about champagne at a circus, with stray newspaper clippings and anecdotes from Philadelphia Telegraph and Boston Transcript, ending with literary quips and a preacher.
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