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Newspaper
New Ulm Review
Location
New Ulm, Minnesota, United States of America
Date
Jan 01, 1908
Page
3
Advertises Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription as a tonic for women with duties at home and in social life. Claims it prepares the system for childbirth, makes birth safer and easier, and notes its ingredients are printed on every bottle. Mentions Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets for constipation and a free endorsement book sent by mail.
The fragment recounts a physician named Jones offering broad cures for chronic ailments from eye and throat diseases to heart, liver, and nervous system issues. It mentions claimed pain free treatment, guaranteed results, and a river city practice with references to nervous debility and premature aging. The text then shifts to a political anecdote about Gustaf Johnson, a Swedish immigrant, his family, and his rise from a grocery helper to public office.
The piece argues John Johnson of St. Peter rose from a poorhouse family to Minnesota governor and national attention by merit. It recalls a circulating smear about his father and shows how Johnson chose to rise above adversity, maintaining a steady, law enforcing, reforming governorship and earning presidential consideration.
In a lively scene, two women discuss a drawing room clutter while a man jokes about overcrowding and comfort. A dining room is deemed fine though the drawing room remains the point of chatter as guests mock propriety. Later, dinner talk shifts to game preferences with a humorous wartime twist about an American eagle on a silver dollar.
A hungry head of the household asks the maid to tell the cook to speed dinner. The cook replies the house is out of dinner but can send for some later. Mr Sallowday laments his lack of appetite, while his wife scolds that more appetite would worsen his dyspepsia.
In a quick exchange, LT remarks that he feels older after gaining hair on his tip. Miss Pert responds with a playful note that another hair may appear in a month, signaling a lighthearted rite of passage between the pair.
A Detroit Free Press sentiment notes Jones remains poor despite earning a good salary. The observer says he spends his money aiming to gain something for nothing and reflects on frugality and ambition in economic life.
The piece recounts the sacred origin of the Ganges from Vishnu’s heaven brought by Bhagiratha’s prayers to pacify King Sagara’s sons. It notes Shiva catching the river in his hair to bend its course and Jahny’s rage and eventual permission for the river to flow, as told in Pearson's Weekly.
Professor Ellard Gore presents a theory that a dark, derelict planet could collide with the sun, causing Earth to burn up. The sun and planet would brighten the sky as the object nears, then a cataclysm at 400 miles per second would destroy Earth.
A brief, humorous exchange appears from a historical newspaper fragment where a boy describes his dog as a mouse hound. The line hints at regional slang and phonetic spelling. The cryptic quote evokes a small town courtroom or judge scene, typical of era humor.
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