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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jun 17, 1892
Page
3
A 3 inch display ad challenges readers to name a unique word, Crescent is stamped on Dr Hurter medicines and samples are offered. The piece mentions Paris cremation rises, Hart’s Island pauper burials, then promotes Dr Kline’s nerve restorer and Sage’s Catarrh Remedy with a 500 dollar cure promise.
A New York barkeep recalls a chilling coercion pact from years ago involving a shadowy man who hired him to torture a rival lover. The brutal assignment ends with payment and anonymity, leaving the witness to ponder the motive and moral meaning behind the ordeal.
The text recounts the rabbit invasion in Australia, noting origins from about twenty animals near Melbourne and the rapid, vast expansion. It cites fecundity with six litters per year and five offspring per litter, showing a single pair could yield over 20 million in five years, illustrating the massive ecological devastation.
A Youth's Companion reflection on how heavy uniforms, pipe-clay, and brass trim burden soldiers, tracing Sir Arthur Wellesley’s early 1800s reforms that lightened gear. The piece links military burden to daily life, asking what pipe-clay and guilt we carry in modern labor and family strain.
A Philadelphia speaker laments horse mal de mer and liquor abuse in equines on long voyages. He cites horses starving, dizzy on land, and addicted to stimulants, then contrasts with swimming advice that keeping wrists steady helps floatation. Observations note racing horses dosed before starts and the wear from stimulants.
A vivid portrait from Drake's Magazine describes Alpine hay making where peasants transform rugged mountains into terraces and mow from cliff shelves. It recounts the danger and discipline of two months of harvest earning modest pay and the yearly cycle of peril and labor.
A barber offers a new French preparation to polish bald heads claiming a lasting shine that water cannot remove. The pitch highlights three to four days of luster, with Germany removing it by acid, and France praising the cosmetic crowning glory. The tale closes with a quip comparing some men to card players who never win until the saw-off.
A humorous contrast promotes cheerful digestion and a hearty temperament. The piece extols laughing, easygoing smiles over dour cynicism and recommends Hostetter's Stomach Bitters to banish nervousness and dyspepsia. It claims the tonic helps rheumatism, constipation, malaria, kidney trouble, and influenza.
The piece notes how many eminent men of 1861 to 1865 have no living grandsons, passing their legacies through daughters. Lincoln, Jefferson Davis, Andrew Johnson, Thurlow Weed, and Horace Greeley have no male descendants. It highlights Stonewall Jackson and John Morgan as parallels, each dying before the war’s end with a daughter who continued the line.
A collection of ad style quips and testimonials appears. Merchants promote Hall's Catarrh Cure with testimonials, Beecham's Pills sold at 25 cents a box, and a humorous line about temper. A Steubenville woman reportedly pelted a man after he spanked her child.
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