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This newspaper page contains 10 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 15, 1892
Page
3
Claiming to build up weak or ailing women overworked or run down the medicine promises relief from sex related derangements and disorders. It improves digestion, invigorates the system, enriches the blood, dispels aches and pains and promotes sleep. The ad asserts guaranteed satisfaction or money back and emphasizes no alcohol or sugar.
A crocodile invites a fox to dine, but the fox is dining with a bird. The crocodile writes a late invitation to rabbits who are busy, then to eels who decline, as all parties miss the meal. Frustrated, the crocodile complains that others do not know their place and contemplates starving.
A tale of Toole and a narrator who follows a beggar with pretensions of poverty through Drury Lane to Seven Dials. The old man reveals a hidden home and a switch to violence, ending with a tense confrontation and the narrator returning to the theatre after a late arrival.
A London Truth note muses on theatergoers who applaud, hiss, or repeat lines, calling varied responses a sign of differing temperaments. It jokes about an Italian duke who married an American heiress and allegedly started the season’s Monte Carlo campaign by losing 250,000 francs, contrasting with Mr Wells and his system.
An Irishman and an Italian stand before a judge for drunkenness. The Irishman pleads guilty while the Italian seeks guidance. Mike explains that confessing is best to avoid being argued into claiming higher intoxication, and Dante ends up confessing.
An analysis describes Hostetters Stomach Bitters as a universal preventive and remedy. The text asserts robust health defends against chills in malarious regions and claims efficacy in South America and Panama against stubborn dietary illnesses. It also notes benefits for stomach liver and bowel issues and influenza like illness, plus appetite and sleep improvement.
A Chestnut Street jeweler sale ends with a buyer charging a $150 gold watch as a birthday surprise for her husband. The text then abruptly shifts to an 1836 Hall’s Catarrh Cure patent, with sworn affidavits and a Toledo address, followed by a Boston outrage note about a dime museum banner and a local quip about Houston’s cultural rule.
An old paper advert shows a 38 inch display puzzle with one word repeated across weekly editions from Dr Harter Medicine Co Crescent mark on every item. Also includes various health ads for Kemp’s Balsam Dr Dayne’s Expectorant Hone’s Honey and Tar and Beecham’s Pills with price references and notes on remedies and curiosities.
An advertisement extols Ely Cream Balm for catarrh and head cold claiming no pain or dread. Oscar Ostrum of Chicago testifies it helped long standing catarrh after six months use. Balm is applied in nostrils and promises immediate relief, 50 cents at druggists or by mail from Ely Brothers New York. A Kherson province nobility gift to the Empress Russia features an ermine mantle valued at $50,000.
The article warns that influenza now varies in virulence and stages from pneumonia to typhoid forms, with heart involvement often fatal. It promotes Reid's German Cough and Kidney Cure as a treatment, claims it relieves lungs, supports kidneys and digestion, and urges purchase through Sylvan Remedy Co of Peoria Illinois.
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