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Newspaper
Myrtle Point Enterprise
Location
Myrtle Point, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Oct 15, 1909
Page
8
Chas Z Condon of Lewiston Mifflin County testifies that Cascarets cured a cancer patient and helped pass a 45 foot tape worm plus multiple smaller segments. The ad touts Cascarents as palatable potent and guaranteed to cure or money back.
Henry VIII muses that men tolerate marriage better than women, while English experience links soft water to higher death rates at 19.2 and hard water to 16.5. New York telephone directories would stack seven and a quarter miles high.
American milch cows headed for Yokohama on a steamship voyage carrying fifty head, mostly Jerseys. Nearby, Amherst Nova Scotia considers harnessing the Petitcodiac River tidal energy, estimating three million horsepower daily.
The dialogue questions how the whale reenters the sea after depositing Jonah on land. Commentators reportedly explain the whale waited for high tide, a theory described as reasonable.
A Detroit Free Press quip notes a sharp line about judgment of a man’s gardening based on his wife’s bonnet displayed in a playful exchange. The remark hinges on appearance versus skill, reflecting social humor. The aside elevates the garden theme as a metaphor for abundance and temptation.
A cordial encounter between well known author and interviewer is noted as a cheerful exchange. The Conversationalist greets the authoress and recalls reading her recent work in a newspaper.
A humorous exchange in a community column imagines a client pressing a $5000 damages suit for a stolen affection. The lawyer counsels a much smaller claim of $25 recognizing the husband's prominence in town.
A Chicago Tribune snippet shows a playful exchange where a man asks for Oxs Book of Martyrs and is told they have it but it may not interest him. He insists it will, citing he is breaking in a new pair of shoes.
A Chicago Tribune aphorism laments a developer of bald spots as the joke boomerangs home leaving his head as bald as an eggplant. The Washington Star quotes a quip about Reginald’s literary shift after marriage from Omar Khayyam to Poor Richard’s maxims.
A Washington Star quote features two actors debating Mr Stormington Barnes. One asks if he seeks the bright side, the other asserts he only rests content when the spotlight is on him.
A columnist quips that a man with a larger nose is likelier to catch a A in the head, joking that it may be due to greater intake. An Information Editor teasingly warns readers not to stumble over a pile of books on the way out.
Arkansas leads in bauxite production with over sixty percent of last year’s output. Holland enacts a law punishing butter adulteration by imprisonment up to a year. A lamplight brilliancy trick uses a gas mantle. The U.S. runs fifty seven wireless stations and ninety six armed vessels. Aerostatics professorships arise in Göttingen with aeronaut training planned in several German cities. Tungstoffer labels tungsten light assemblies. Austria caps drug stores by population. licenses require proof for additions. Pittsburg tests structural material for 65 foot girders with ten million pounds tension. Washes improve high ash coal for boilers and cooking. Ultraviolet milk sterilization by mercury lamps demonstrated in Paris. potassium bichromate preserves milk in dark. Yana language of northern California shown to be distinct with two speech forms. Calaveras forests host two groves of big trees. Father of the Forests once stood 450 feet tall with over 40 feet diameter at ground.
A historic letter about Benedict Arnold's treason and Gen. Gates Southern campaign sold for 55 dollars at Free man's in Philadelphia. Dated Oct. 5 1780 from Charles Petit to Nathanael Greene, it discusses Arnold's turn to the Tory side and Greene's appointment to succeed Gates, noting Southern support for Greene over Caledonian Gen. St. Clair.
A Milwaukee Journal quote notes new thinking will beautify the plainest girl, while predicting few will abandon lotions for no fans.
A concise aphorism notes the higher price of pursuing revenge than accepting a wrong without action. It juxtaposes personal calculus with practical outcomes in a reflective tone.
A temperance lecturer finishes his talk and invites questions. A passenger asks if a person can get drunk on sauerkraut, provoking amusement among the audience while the conductor signals a pause.
Comic exchange notes a remark about a doughnut with a larger hole. A motherly suggestion promotes Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup for teething children.
In a comic scene, a villain lights a cigarette and drops the lit match into the snow nearly sparking a theater fire. Observers report quick action from staff preventing disaster.
A remark questions a witness's truthfulness, noting the man’s sole involvement as a witness in the Gould case. The exchange highlights credibility concerns surrounding testimony presented in the trial context.
A brief item notes a young man feeling older due to lameback and lumbago while Hamlins Wizard Oil promises to restore youthfulness and relieve pain. The Indianapolis News quotes a patriotic line about income tax and state consensus.
A brief quote from the Houston Post remarks on a masculine touch in a dress and a smudged streak of finger marks along the back button line, reflecting a style critique.
A humorous exchange features the Doctor described as a walking lamp of knowledge while the Professor is called a roamin candle, highlighting playful contrasts in persona and intellect.
A Detroit Free Press note quotes a critique of a woman's schooling showing no evident gains. The speaker states she still assists her mother with housework as before, highlighting perceived lack of advancement despite education.
A Punch caption recalls a prince and a housemaid in a comic exchange with a valet railing at a fire in the dronin room. The master dismisses involvement, saying he never interferes in household matters.
An umpire quips that both players and umpires must think quickly in baseball. He jokes that a slow thinker earns an error, while his own quick thinking earns a pop bottle as a prize. The Chicago Tribune credits the remark to Ilias Little Kick.
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