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Newspaper
Myrtle Point Enterprise
Location
Myrtle Point, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Dec 11, 1908
Page
7
In selection proportion and combination of ingredients the advertisement extols remedies’ process of extraction and preservation noting effectiveness usefulness and economy. It claims curing the widest range of diseases and doing the most good for the money with the greatest record of cures.
The speaker complains about a failed offer and comments on character. Mentions Goodman, Haybhold Storey, and a perceived yeller streak. Alludes to therapies and rust and iron in blood as metaphors for mental state and capability.
Clergyman in New York recalls the late Dr. Morgan Dix's habit of lightening grave topics with humor. He recounts a medical school graduation address where Dix quipped that physiologists say the older a man, the smaller his brain becomes, explaining why the old know less than the young.
Cartoon caption style item notes a whale and dogfish quipping about a porpoise swallowing Jonah feat. The gag implies the whale is “blowing” up attention after his unusual feat.
This sterling household remedy claims to correct digestive derangements by stimulating the intestinal canal and aiding digestion. It asserts benefits for appetite, sour stomach, bad breath, constipation, headaches, backaches, despondency and overall liver and kidney support, with a refund option from Hoyt Chemical Co of Portland Oregon.
In a Cleveland Plain Dealer snippet a woman denies ownership of a shopping bag claimed by a girl who found it at a door. The exchange hints at a mistaken identity and a moment of social tension in a restroom setting.
An inquiring friend asks how one summoned fortitude to quit drinking. Badger recounts paying a $25 doctor for a diagnosis and prescription, noting the cost was too high to waste.
In a café scene a waiter asks if the order has been taken and the customer Mr. Welbroke confirms. He desires to alter the order fifteen minutes after it was placed and asks to change it to an entreaty rather than a meal.
The five wedding anniversaries are defined by themed materials. Fifth is wooden, tenth tin, fifteenth crystal, twenty fifth silver, thirtieth pearl, fiftieth gold, and seventy fifth diamond.
Shake Allen’s Foot-Ease powder to cure hot and aching feet and prevent corns bunions and ingrown nails. Sold by druggists and shoe stores for 25 cents. Free sample mailed on request to Allen S. Olmsted Le Roy New York.
A mother questions a youth about baptism amid doubts he may join the family. The young man hesitates, replying he thinks he was baptized once.
A judge notes several men who, after a night out with friends, concocted famous excuses and escaped punishment. The list names Jonanh, Ulysses, Rip Van Winkle and Robinson Crusoe as examples of clever alibis.
In a brief dialogue a sweet young woman contemplates a prince to marry. The questioner asks if she will wed royalty and mentions the coal king's son. She smiles and accepts the idea, likening herself to Cinderella in a fanciful twist.
The article notes high peanut consumption in the United States prompting imports from Africa. About $3,000 worth of African peanuts were imported from Marseilles in 1906 and over $73,000 in 1907. The west coast of Africa is a major producer.
Dialogue shows Gayman and Goodsole trading a pun filled exchange in a conservatory. The elderly spinster remark leads to a humorous reply about conserving natural resources and reclaiming an arid waist.
A Philadelphia Ledger report describes a lawyer aiding a man struck by a car. The victim declines serious injuries and vows the driver may one day need legal help himself.
A survey of diverse topics notes population growth in German empire Japan and the Yukon electricity ventures in mining regions a Thames regatta date and a Columbia river bridge. It also quotes experts on law crime and criminology including Sir Walter Hilyer Waldorf Astor and Mrs. Peabody detailing roles and opinions.
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