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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Sep 21, 1899
Page
10
In a Chicago Inter Ocean item, Henry Smith laments the failed night-blooming cereus as guests arrived and the study emptied for the spectacle. He recounts the costly disruption, including $50 in layout costs and a lost deed, while his wife’s faith in the plant remains unshaken.
A Chicago board of trade man with luxuriant side whiskers shares a placid passion for baseball with his six year old son. During a Chicago St Louis game the boy exploded with enthusiasm as left fielder Jim Ryan caught a crucial fly while the father kept his dignity. The child shouted for a mustache like Ryan's and the crowd calmed as the play ended in triumph.
Margherita Arlina Hamm describes a Chinese festival visit where women inspect her clothes and shoes. The Mandarin's wives question her endurance and strength, noting she can ride and walk like a man and would not let a husband beat her. The remark ends with a punchline about foreigners and multiple wives.
A spendthrift-spirited youth imitates his father and uses a voice impersonation to order money. He rings the office and misleads the cashier into advancing a smaller sum, then returns to find the scene waiting when the old man arrives.
Advertises rail passes to numerous states and territories with selling dates August 15 September 5 19 and October 3 17 1899. One fare two dollars to authorized points in Alabama Arizona Arkansas British Columbia Colorado Florida Georgia Iowa Indiana Territory Idaho Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Manitoba New Mexico Nebraska North Carolina North Dakota Oregon Oklahoma South Carolina South Dakota Texas Utah Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming Washington. For full rates routes tickets limits stopovers contact agents Big Four Route WP. Deppe A G PP T Agt Warren J Lynch Gen Pass Tht Agt Cincinnati O
A reader recalls a two week vacation ending with a call to extend rest. The employer replies a third week is fine, then a second note says the worker’s job is held by another man. This anecdote appears in the Philadelphia North American. The Yonkers Statesman jokes about Jonah as the first oil region traveler.
A poem by J. H. Thomas in Youth's Companion celebrates harmony among animals from two puppies to lambs and birds. It contrasts nine quarrelsome boys with the rest enjoying games from dawn to night, noting the loss of fun due to their fighting.
An Ohio Farmer tale describes a sparrow killed by a noose tied to horse hair after disturbing a mud swallow nest. The writer cites bird justice as swallows allegedly caught the thief in the act and hanged it, leaving a relic of the incident.
A simple aluminum crystal making method for children uses a 1 pound alum dissolved in hot water. Suspend a wire frame in the saturated solution inside a glass vessel kept undisturbed for 24 hours in a cool room. Blue or yellow crystals can be achieved with iron alum or chromium, and coloring can be added with blue ink or litmus solution.
A Ravenswood girl sketching pigs on a farm fence slipped after a loud sound. She landed safely, mistaking a cow for a bear, and the cow chewed and swallowed the girl’s green ribbon braids, continuing to chew until none remained.
A dog is described as able to tell the time and wake his master each morning for breakfast. The animal also carries the owner's dinner daily, and if the wife forgets, the dog reminds her by bringing the pair. The tale claims the dog watches the clock, once lifting the clock hands to noon when it was only eleven.
A Chicago Chronicle feature explains how squirrels adapt to winter, noting varied seasonal diets beyond nuts. It cites a western chipmunk storing pine seeds and describes ground squirrels using mushrooms stored on tree branches when pinon crops fail.
Washington discharged a strong Chinese protest over Gen Otis military order barring Chinese from the Philippines. China claims the move violates international law and treaties and endangers long standing ties with the United States. The protest notes no military necessity and warns of economic and social harm to Chinese residents already established in the islands.
John C Hubinger of Keokuk Iowa stands as a leading progressive figure noted for manufacturing starch and widening business networks. The 47 year old philanthropist and investor plans to distribute Red Cross Starch with cheap premiums while maintaining interests in street railways electric plants and the Mississippi Valley Telephone Co and cherishes his Keokuk home and family.
A fishing wheel near Portland Oregon uses three wire netted receivers to catch salmon as they rise through rapid water. The submerged receivers scoop fish which are carried upward then slide into a wooden chute and into a boat. The wheel reportedly yields thousands of fish daily.
A park constable paddling a punt to retrieve India rubber balls near the upper lake in Waterloo park England faces a fierce male swan. The bird abandons its mate and cygnets and darts at the constable, nearly tipping the punt while the balls are recovered.
Two young attorneys joke about attachment proving grounds. The senior notes Miss Goodcatch owns 300 acres of land, prompting a witty exchange. The column reflects legal satire from the Ohio State Journal.
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