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Newspaper
Mitchell Capital
Location
Mitchell, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jan 26, 1900
Page
14
A miscellany of humorous observations and animal tales. The piece notes open mouths spreading illness, praises nasal breathing, and includes stories of a cat ringing a bell, a doctor examining a child’s tongue, and children misquoting animals and toys for comic effect.
A blend of domestic scenes with Isabel playing while Lou and Charlie care for her. The text shifts to natural history notes on tropical fishes, amphibious species, climbing fish, and the protopterus. Anecdotes recount voyage mishaps and an elephant’s intelligence amid a doctor’s help.
A Broadway exhibit shows a master clock with four electric secondary dials connected by wires. The system uses magnets and a drawing shaft to advance secondary hands when the master clock hits sixty seconds, claiming easy market price, reliability, and indefinite extension as long as the master clock stays correct.
A famed man of letters visiting Washington passed on many breakfast and dinner invitations but attended only one dinner party where he sat beside a naval officer’s daughter. She peppered him with questions as he discussed Shakespeare and she quipped that the poet is “too cute for anything,” drawing a wary, amused response from the guest.
A collage of humorous lines and short gags from various papers pokes fun at politics love golf and daily life. The quips feature punny exchanges about habit and social behavior with references to newspapers and well known joke setups.
A miscellaneous collection of quips from judges and lawyers on cross examination interruptions and courtroom irony. It includes Lord Watson’s sharp remark, Lord Norbury’s dock joke, Dr Emily Blackwell’s defiant reply, and anecdotes about Baron Alderson, Tom Corwin, and a horse named Duke of Milpitas with Ald Casey of Chicago.
A hotel employee relays rumors from a cousin in the Thirty third Infantry about buried Spanish treasure found near ruined Filipino homes. Soldiers across units are probing grounds with bayonets hoping for more riches as Filipino retreat and funds are allegedly hidden. A separate note mentions an extraordinary race at New Orleans.
A detective recalls a scam where a well dressed man forged a $3,000 check from a respected whiskey house. He used a livestock firm contact and a phone bluff to identify fake Smith at Jones & Smith. The ruse caused Smith to deny involvement and close the account, with the accomplice remaining unidentified.
The Lyons consul reports a new glass pavement material, produced from crushed bottle glass melted and compacted into eight inch bricks. It resists frost and heavy traffic, becomes non transparent, resembles a chessboard, and is as cheap as stone yet more durable. It may be used for tubes, tiles, chimneys and decorative work, with potential display at the Paris exhibition.
An evening scene in a home features a couple discussing a fairy tale about a woman who speaks diamonds or rubies, followed by a brief note on a new needle threading method that uses the left hand to grip the thread end, preventing it from slipping.
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