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Newspaper
Maurice Times
Location
Maurice, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 06, 1911
Page
2
A witty exchange about ambition and misfortune, portraying a character who expected leadership but settles for a trivial, humorous rank of indolence. The dialogue hints at pride, disappointment, and irony.
Mrs. F. E. Harmon of Atoka Tennessee describes her six month old son’s severe head rash turning to hair loss and widespread red bumps. After failing with multiple doctors and ointments, she reports swift improvement within three days of using Cuticura Resolvent Soap and Ointment and credits the products with restoring health and hair.
A young suitor asks a mill Ionaire for his daughter's hand and offers to raise a fortune. The mill ionaire offers half the amount and requests the same, prompting the youth to retreat in sorrow. Additional quips reflect light social humor and humorous observations from the era.
A fragmentary ad page lists Pettit's Eye Salve from Howard Bros. Buffalo NY and Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children. It includes a religious-tinged quotation from Longfellow and a brief moral line about piety versus daily life.
New York banker Joseph G. Robin, indicted in a major case, attempted suicide by hyoscin as he faced arraignment. He collapsed before court, a stomach pump engaged, and he was hospitalized in serious condition with the charge postponed.
Federal investigators wind up a grand jury probe into sugar sampling and polariscopic tests used to assess saccharine content. Officials say frauds have persisted at least fifteen years, with anticipated scrutiny of San Francisco drawbacks and comparisons to New York cases tied to the American Sugar Refining Company settlement.
Boston Elevate Railway distributed about 82000 dollars in New Year gifts to 3500 workers including motormen conductors elevated trainmen station masters and inspectors. More than 80 percent of the workforce shared in the gifts.
A San Antonio and Arkansas passenger train derailed near Pettus, Texas, killing James A. Ball of Kansas City. Five people were seriously injured and a score more buried in debris as rescue crews searched the wreckage. Governor Hadley outlines Oregon plan in Missouri primary discussion. Clarence Lexow, ex NY senate investigator, dies in New York.
A blaze in Lawton Oklahoma's business area caused about 125000 dollars in damage. A city drug store porter occupants possibly burned to death. Also reports on Sioux City live stock quotes and Sigma Alpha Epsilon convention notes in Nashville.
The Bath Enquirer recalls a tale from a North Congregational church involving an angel statue with high heeled shoes. A former pastor allegedly asked a Universalist, Mr Raymond, whether he had seen such an angel. Raymond replied he could not say he had seen one with or without them.
A New York letter recalls how the former umpire earned the sobriquet Honest John as a boy. He held a horse for a tinware peddler who bought a drink, watched the wagon attacked, and the thiefs stripped the load. The peddler praised the boy, saying Youre Honest John, all right. You saved the horse.
Wise says Green is not a major political figure. He criticizes politicians who use five syllables to say simple ideas, contrasting style with substance.
On a street, Callahan explains to Father Clancy that he broke Hogan's head last night but did so gently out of consideration for their long friendship. The priest reacts with a sad expression as the exchange unfolds.
A rural official urges an investigation into the affair while farmer Countessel questions its value noting investigations seldom alter personal opinions. The exchange captures skepticism toward official inquiries and their impact on individuals.
A witty reply asks about keeping a husband’s affection with a quip about cold storage. The line uses humor to address marital dynamics and fidelity in a tongue in cheek way.
A collection of humorous quips about a wealthy man named Jones and a young artist named D Auber. The jokes reference an opera house mishap, a spoons and forks joke at dinner, and the artist drawing a Maltese cross showing a body in evening papers.
The Sketch presents a dialogue where Bil laments being kept indoors and the Pal-Watcher questions him. Bill complains the judge won’t believe his story, highlighting a humorous dispute over freedom and residence.
Rev Henry R Rose recounts a young Vermont minister who aims high and preaches with zeal. An elderly parishioner compliments his work saying they never knew what sin was until he arrived, revealing unintended sharp humor in praise.
A story from the Players' Club recounts Miss Ellen Terry attending the New York premiere of a young playwright's work and warmly congratulating him. He jokes that if she promotes it, his piece will sell 90 million tickets, while the smart set quotes a fable about fools and kings to close.
A town discussion contrasts city and country responses to snow drifts. Residents urge the city to invest in better roads, citing country resilience and practical needs. The dialogue emphasizes practical infrastructure improvements.
The Kind reports a witty exchange about a chauffeur flirting with his employer's daughter. A sharp line about having a motor nerve follows, highlighting the playful tone of the era.
A London Chronicle excerpt notes a proposed policy to grant a young-age pension starting at birth for the fourth child, arguing it would reward parental industry and boost the birth rate, echoing Australia’s old-age pension example.
A short note from Youth's Companion highlights a boy who muses on time. He says minutes feel like hours and hours feel like minutes, explaining that play would race recess, so he stays idle to make the break last longer. The teacher is surprised by his calm during recess.
A Quip attributed to a judge notes that calling Monday blue stems from myths about blueing and suggests humans focus on their own faults to see good in others. The remark frames Monday mood as lighter commentary on self awareness.
A New York attorney for the Weekly questioned 25 Battle Creek workers as inspectors testified the Grain Nuts Postum factory maintains strict cleanliness and purity. Witnesses from Haines to Mayo described clean ovens, floors, attire changes, and that only advertised ingredients are used.
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